Emily
@becausechaucer.bsky.social
Proverbs 27:14 | definitely not a vampire | not as into Chaucer as it sounds from the name | ask before adding me to lists/packs/etc
Reposted by Emily
but also this one
November 16, 2025 at 7:05 PM
but also this one
Reposted by Emily
10/10 no notes
November 16, 2025 at 7:05 PM
10/10 no notes
Reposted by Emily
I WANT TO HOST ONE OF THESE
props to WSJ for once on a useful notion, ADMIN PARTY for everybody
November 15, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I WANT TO HOST ONE OF THESE
Reposted by Emily
You always ask me “Jorts why are you so wet?” but I never ask why your phone is at 7%
November 16, 2025 at 9:16 AM
You always ask me “Jorts why are you so wet?” but I never ask why your phone is at 7%
Reposted by Emily
It is very funny that this Pope is just going to get jerseys from now on. Everyone decided that's what this Pope likes and that is it. It's like if your grandmother got you a puzzle for Christmas one year and you said you liked it so your entire extended family is like "oh that's the puzzle kid"
Spike Lee just blessed Pope Leo with a custom Knicks jersey during his visit to the Vatican, just one week after the Pope was gifted a custom Chicago Bulls one.
Spike Lee Blesses Pope Leo with Knicks Jersey
Spike Lee just blessed Pope Leo with a custom Knicks jersey during his visit to the Vatican, just one week after the Pope was gifted a custom Chicago Bulls one.
www.vulture.com
November 16, 2025 at 3:07 AM
It is very funny that this Pope is just going to get jerseys from now on. Everyone decided that's what this Pope likes and that is it. It's like if your grandmother got you a puzzle for Christmas one year and you said you liked it so your entire extended family is like "oh that's the puzzle kid"
Reposted by Emily
Oven makers pimping their “interactive color touch screen” and all I really want is a big freaking knob. Do you know how many computers I want in my oven? Zero. I want zero computers in my oven.
November 15, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Oven makers pimping their “interactive color touch screen” and all I really want is a big freaking knob. Do you know how many computers I want in my oven? Zero. I want zero computers in my oven.
the party animal* in her natural habitat on Saturday night
*possibly a raccoon
*possibly a raccoon
November 16, 2025 at 12:00 AM
the party animal* in her natural habitat on Saturday night
*possibly a raccoon
*possibly a raccoon
Reposted by Emily
Captain Keller has a nice ring to it 🔔
November 15, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Captain Keller has a nice ring to it 🔔
😭
From one legend to another 🥹
Jessica Campbell surprised Hilary Knight with her team captain jersey after practice today!
Jessica Campbell surprised Hilary Knight with her team captain jersey after practice today!
November 15, 2025 at 8:32 PM
😭
Reposted by Emily
The only fic, to my knowledge, ever inspired by a tweet of mine. It includes a phrase I would be proud to have written: “A man who does not love naked hot sauerkraut wrestling truly cannot be said to love our country.”
NB-
This is a reference to a simpler time (apparently 7:10 PM · Jul 2, 2021) . Fic thoughtfully bearing witness is archiveofourown.org/works/33342418
This is a reference to a simpler time (apparently 7:10 PM · Jul 2, 2021) . Fic thoughtfully bearing witness is archiveofourown.org/works/33342418
![Screenshot in intro to a fic (citation above)of two tweets [The link for the first one no longer works]:
Once upon a time, Ursula Vernon a.k.a. T. Kingfisher tweeted these two tweets in response to a troll:
https://twitter.com/UrsulaV/status/1411096126657335303
FATHER? WHY DO YOU LOOK SO FORLORN? HAS THE PIG GOTTEN INTO THE VODKA AGAIN?
WHAT? MOTHER? MOTHER HAS DIED?!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "CABBAGE POISONING?!"
https://twitter.com/UrsulaV/status/1411100077079339023
NO, FATHER. PUT DOWN THE AXE. PUT IT DOWN, I SAY! WE SHALL BURY MOTHER AMONG THE CABBAGES.
...VERY WELL, WE SHALL BURY HER WHERE THE CABBAGES WOULD BE IF THE TSAR'S MEN HAD NOT TAKEN THEM ALL FOR THEIR INDECENT HOT SAUERKRAUT WRESTLING RING.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:i33m3atdwnpjjocc2spipqex/bafkreicosl3pqxufuxkfufqrqhwg6wtm6pg6rv2e7ou3jrhmlfi2gk6ft4@jpeg)
November 15, 2025 at 8:17 PM
The only fic, to my knowledge, ever inspired by a tweet of mine. It includes a phrase I would be proud to have written: “A man who does not love naked hot sauerkraut wrestling truly cannot be said to love our country.”
Reposted by Emily
How long have people been giving sports jerseys to Popes?
Leo XIV’s not the first one.
What happens to these jerseys after the presentations?
Is there a Vatican curator of Papal Jerseys?
Each one must have a story.
Can we see a documentary about this?
Leo XIV’s not the first one.
What happens to these jerseys after the presentations?
Is there a Vatican curator of Papal Jerseys?
Each one must have a story.
Can we see a documentary about this?
November 15, 2025 at 7:57 PM
How long have people been giving sports jerseys to Popes?
Leo XIV’s not the first one.
What happens to these jerseys after the presentations?
Is there a Vatican curator of Papal Jerseys?
Each one must have a story.
Can we see a documentary about this?
Leo XIV’s not the first one.
What happens to these jerseys after the presentations?
Is there a Vatican curator of Papal Jerseys?
Each one must have a story.
Can we see a documentary about this?
Reposted by Emily
WeRateDogs turns 10 years old today! A very silly idea to numerically objectify dogs has become one of the kindest and most powerful online communities ever. Thank you for joining us over the last decade. I never knew what this could be until you all showed me. Here's to many more good dogs ❤️
November 15, 2025 at 3:42 PM
WeRateDogs turns 10 years old today! A very silly idea to numerically objectify dogs has become one of the kindest and most powerful online communities ever. Thank you for joining us over the last decade. I never knew what this could be until you all showed me. Here's to many more good dogs ❤️
Reposted by Emily
The parenthetical is my favorite bit of the article
November 14, 2025 at 8:19 PM
The parenthetical is my favorite bit of the article
Reposted by Emily
I do not want to “Do my own research.” I want to pay trained accredited experts to do the research, trained accredited experts to report on findings, and trained accredited experts to make policy based on them.
I am busy af with my own job, I don’t need to do eight zillion more.
I am busy af with my own job, I don’t need to do eight zillion more.
November 15, 2025 at 1:11 PM
I do not want to “Do my own research.” I want to pay trained accredited experts to do the research, trained accredited experts to report on findings, and trained accredited experts to make policy based on them.
I am busy af with my own job, I don’t need to do eight zillion more.
I am busy af with my own job, I don’t need to do eight zillion more.
Reposted by Emily
My mum has been making needle felted mice for a few years and enjoys challenging herself with new themes and ideas. She's just set up her first exhibition at the stately home she volunteers at, with a family of period mice. Incredible.
November 14, 2025 at 4:09 PM
My mum has been making needle felted mice for a few years and enjoys challenging herself with new themes and ideas. She's just set up her first exhibition at the stately home she volunteers at, with a family of period mice. Incredible.
Reposted by Emily
Bienvenue dans le monde merveilleux des megabasses!
November 12, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Bienvenue dans le monde merveilleux des megabasses!
Reposted by Emily
Reposted by Emily
Since the topic's come up,
That Time With the Cookies. #StoryTime
So there I was, a military spouse, and hub was attached to this group of maniacs and he would 'forward deploy' with them.
They went out for a couple weeks, so I baked some cookies.
That Time With the Cookies. #StoryTime
So there I was, a military spouse, and hub was attached to this group of maniacs and he would 'forward deploy' with them.
They went out for a couple weeks, so I baked some cookies.
a man wearing a chef 's hat is standing over a pile of dough .
Alt: The Swedish Chef baking by throwing flour everywhere.
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Since the topic's come up,
That Time With the Cookies. #StoryTime
So there I was, a military spouse, and hub was attached to this group of maniacs and he would 'forward deploy' with them.
They went out for a couple weeks, so I baked some cookies.
That Time With the Cookies. #StoryTime
So there I was, a military spouse, and hub was attached to this group of maniacs and he would 'forward deploy' with them.
They went out for a couple weeks, so I baked some cookies.
anyone in or near Bethesda MD who would like to store this giant shark on behalf of the USCPSC?
If there was suddenly a giant shark in every PSA video, would that improve the reach of our messaging?
Are you located in the DC-Baltimore-Philadelphia-New York corridor?
Have you always wanted to have your very own 11 foot long papier-mâché hammerhead shark?
Now available for free!
Perfect for museums, community centers, or your living room!
Save this lovely creature from imminent destruction!
Have you always wanted to have your very own 11 foot long papier-mâché hammerhead shark?
Now available for free!
Perfect for museums, community centers, or your living room!
Save this lovely creature from imminent destruction!
November 14, 2025 at 8:23 PM
anyone in or near Bethesda MD who would like to store this giant shark on behalf of the USCPSC?
Reposted by Emily
Sex ed should be mandatory and all students regardless of gender should study periods, childbirth, PCOS, and endometriosis.
"my least woke opinion is---"
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 14, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Sex ed should be mandatory and all students regardless of gender should study periods, childbirth, PCOS, and endometriosis.
Reposted by Emily
6-second videos of CPSC lab staff saying, "Yeah, it shouldn't do that."
November 14, 2025 at 5:31 PM
6-second videos of CPSC lab staff saying, "Yeah, it shouldn't do that."
UPDATE:
coworker was forced to perform anti-dumbass evasive maneuvers on the way home and the sewing machine broke free and smashed the absolute shit out of her back windshield
which
I guess
technically does not involve bloodshed
and also wasn't the machine's fault
coworker was forced to perform anti-dumbass evasive maneuvers on the way home and the sewing machine broke free and smashed the absolute shit out of her back windshield
which
I guess
technically does not involve bloodshed
and also wasn't the machine's fault
we have successfully wrestled the antique treadle machine who is going to a new home OUT of the apartment DOWN a flight of stairs INTO the CR-V OUT of the CR-V again and INTO my coworker's even smaller hatchback without ANYONE bleeding, I am calling this week a win
November 14, 2025 at 3:45 PM
UPDATE:
coworker was forced to perform anti-dumbass evasive maneuvers on the way home and the sewing machine broke free and smashed the absolute shit out of her back windshield
which
I guess
technically does not involve bloodshed
and also wasn't the machine's fault
coworker was forced to perform anti-dumbass evasive maneuvers on the way home and the sewing machine broke free and smashed the absolute shit out of her back windshield
which
I guess
technically does not involve bloodshed
and also wasn't the machine's fault
Reposted by Emily
(throwing open my window) you there, boy, what day is this?
Goodness me, I stayed up late reading and it’s already Partially Muscled Skeleton Screaming by the Perimeter Fence Day. Hope you’ve all been good this year!
November 14, 2025 at 2:52 PM
(throwing open my window) you there, boy, what day is this?
0 days since our last stupid injury: tried to force a frozen block of soup into a mason jar, broke the jar, incurred a cut so microscopic I neither felt nor saw it but it was still big enough to bleed on things
today's stupid injury is: lightly stabbed self with paring knife while washing dishes
November 14, 2025 at 2:47 PM
0 days since our last stupid injury: tried to force a frozen block of soup into a mason jar, broke the jar, incurred a cut so microscopic I neither felt nor saw it but it was still big enough to bleed on things
Reposted by Emily
…and that’s why our silverware has the name of an 1800s free love commune on it, fascinating history really is around every corner
November 14, 2025 at 3:18 AM
…and that’s why our silverware has the name of an 1800s free love commune on it, fascinating history really is around every corner