Ian, Teller of Tales
@thesheepleschamp.bsky.social
He/they/any | storyteller | 日本語も喋れる
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Pioneering Female Archaeologist In Google Doodle Bears Silent Witness To Man’s Search For ‘Zootopia’ Porn https://theonion.com/pioneering-female-archaeologist-in-google-doodle-bears-silent-witness-to-mans-search-for-zootopia-porn/
January 16, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Pioneering Female Archaeologist In Google Doodle Bears Silent Witness To Man’s Search For ‘Zootopia’ Porn https://theonion.com/pioneering-female-archaeologist-in-google-doodle-bears-silent-witness-to-mans-search-for-zootopia-porn/
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Did you know:
ICE agents are cowards? They are untrained & weak? They are sniveling little Nazis who kill when they feel belittled & frustrated, & when made to feel ACTUAL fear they will abandon their Righteous Cause in moments?
Did you know:
You can beat them? You can do it now?
ICE agents are cowards? They are untrained & weak? They are sniveling little Nazis who kill when they feel belittled & frustrated, & when made to feel ACTUAL fear they will abandon their Righteous Cause in moments?
Did you know:
You can beat them? You can do it now?
After ICE agents shot people in Minneapolis tonight, a crowd faced them down and eventually chased them away, despite federal mercenaries and police shooting a tremendous amount of tear gas.
ICE agents abandoned vehicles in the area, containing IDs, paperwork, license plates, and operational plans.
ICE agents abandoned vehicles in the area, containing IDs, paperwork, license plates, and operational plans.
January 15, 2026 at 9:19 AM
Did you know:
ICE agents are cowards? They are untrained & weak? They are sniveling little Nazis who kill when they feel belittled & frustrated, & when made to feel ACTUAL fear they will abandon their Righteous Cause in moments?
Did you know:
You can beat them? You can do it now?
ICE agents are cowards? They are untrained & weak? They are sniveling little Nazis who kill when they feel belittled & frustrated, & when made to feel ACTUAL fear they will abandon their Righteous Cause in moments?
Did you know:
You can beat them? You can do it now?
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Worth every second
January 15, 2026 at 2:50 PM
Worth every second
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
It's really easy to despair and feel hopeless these days, but there are a lot of people out there who care.
10,000 people honoring Renee Nicole Good
at the site of her murder
at the site of her murder
January 8, 2026 at 5:16 AM
It's really easy to despair and feel hopeless these days, but there are a lot of people out there who care.
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
a major american city is being forced to close schools because armed government agents are raiding and pepper spraying and terrorizing children and teachers for social media content
Minneapolis public schools canceled classes officials after Roosevelt High School said armed Border Patrol officers came on school property during dismissal Wednesday and began tackling people, handcuffed two staff members and released chemical weapons on bystanders
www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...
www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...
Minneapolis schools cancel classes after Border Patrol clash disrupts dismissal at Roosevelt
Minneapolis schools closed for the week citing safety concerns after an encounter involving armed Border Patrol agents near Roosevelt High School.
www.mprnews.org
January 8, 2026 at 1:53 PM
a major american city is being forced to close schools because armed government agents are raiding and pepper spraying and terrorizing children and teachers for social media content
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good https://theonion.com/british-teen-returning-from-semester-in-u-s-regales-friends-with-tale-of-food-that-tastes-good/
January 6, 2026 at 5:00 PM
British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good https://theonion.com/british-teen-returning-from-semester-in-u-s-regales-friends-with-tale-of-food-that-tastes-good/
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
this right here is why the day after 1/6 i cut off all my hair. because i just knew that if it was black people it'd be a massacre. that they would have gotten to the steps without being mowed down.
Wild shit
January 6, 2026 at 7:09 PM
this right here is why the day after 1/6 i cut off all my hair. because i just knew that if it was black people it'd be a massacre. that they would have gotten to the steps without being mowed down.
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
OMENS OF CHAOS is coming fast! Pre-order your copy, with special edition Command Tower, today: www.tiktok.com/@vorthosjay/...
Omens of Chaos Update! #vorthos #magicthegathering #mtgecl
TikTok video by Jay Annelli
www.tiktok.com
January 1, 2026 at 5:11 PM
OMENS OF CHAOS is coming fast! Pre-order your copy, with special edition Command Tower, today: www.tiktok.com/@vorthosjay/...
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else https://theonion.com/jd-vance-cries-in-bathroom-after-trump-uses-piggy-nickname-on-someone-else/
December 31, 2025 at 11:00 PM
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else https://theonion.com/jd-vance-cries-in-bathroom-after-trump-uses-piggy-nickname-on-someone-else/
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
i do everything i can to create opportunity for moments like this so people can see there's support for us out there in a time that support can sometimes seem scarce – let’s see if we can top this one in 2026 🏳️⚧️
December 27, 2025 at 6:19 PM
i do everything i can to create opportunity for moments like this so people can see there's support for us out there in a time that support can sometimes seem scarce – let’s see if we can top this one in 2026 🏳️⚧️
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Trump was accused of Rape.
Victim was found with her head blown off.
Police say “no way” a suicide.
Victim was found with her head blown off.
Police say “no way” a suicide.
December 24, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Trump was accused of Rape.
Victim was found with her head blown off.
Police say “no way” a suicide.
Victim was found with her head blown off.
Police say “no way” a suicide.
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Charli XCX Does Line Of Coke With 11-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Fan https://theonion.com/charli-xcx-does-line-of-coke-with-11-year-old-make-a-wish-fan/
December 23, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Charli XCX Does Line Of Coke With 11-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Fan https://theonion.com/charli-xcx-does-line-of-coke-with-11-year-old-make-a-wish-fan/
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
December 20, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
⭐ New Video 🪓
Revolution, Fascism, & Magic: The Gathering
Folks, this one's a bit big...
youtu.be/4JghX1MBU68
Revolution, Fascism, & Magic: The Gathering
Folks, this one's a bit big...
youtu.be/4JghX1MBU68
December 21, 2025 at 7:04 PM
⭐ New Video 🪓
Revolution, Fascism, & Magic: The Gathering
Folks, this one's a bit big...
youtu.be/4JghX1MBU68
Revolution, Fascism, & Magic: The Gathering
Folks, this one's a bit big...
youtu.be/4JghX1MBU68
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
First four EDH/Commander decks! I got introduced to the format thanks to the 2011 precons.
Kaalia - classic Angels/Demons/Dragons
Rafiq - Voltron
Child of Alara - Super friends (back when that was hard to do)
Sheoldred - Ramp/reanimator
Kaalia - classic Angels/Demons/Dragons
Rafiq - Voltron
Child of Alara - Super friends (back when that was hard to do)
Sheoldred - Ramp/reanimator
December 7, 2025 at 6:04 PM
First four EDH/Commander decks! I got introduced to the format thanks to the 2011 precons.
Kaalia - classic Angels/Demons/Dragons
Rafiq - Voltron
Child of Alara - Super friends (back when that was hard to do)
Sheoldred - Ramp/reanimator
Kaalia - classic Angels/Demons/Dragons
Rafiq - Voltron
Child of Alara - Super friends (back when that was hard to do)
Sheoldred - Ramp/reanimator
If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.
LOTR is commonly discussed when this topic comes up; the books contain many positive, masculine role models, but Aragorn probably takes the cake for me.
Normalize kissing the homies on the forehead.
LOTR is commonly discussed when this topic comes up; the books contain many positive, masculine role models, but Aragorn probably takes the cake for me.
Normalize kissing the homies on the forehead.
December 6, 2025 at 10:02 PM
If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.
LOTR is commonly discussed when this topic comes up; the books contain many positive, masculine role models, but Aragorn probably takes the cake for me.
Normalize kissing the homies on the forehead.
LOTR is commonly discussed when this topic comes up; the books contain many positive, masculine role models, but Aragorn probably takes the cake for me.
Normalize kissing the homies on the forehead.
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥
December 1, 2025 at 11:09 AM
This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
oh they gave me a blue check now I can say how I REALLY feel!!! trans rights free Palestine housing is a human right universal health care for all six hour day for eight hours pay mandatory minimum wage raises that track to rent & cost of living protect the oceans & the rivers and bring back Jujubes
November 30, 2025 at 9:09 PM
oh they gave me a blue check now I can say how I REALLY feel!!! trans rights free Palestine housing is a human right universal health care for all six hour day for eight hours pay mandatory minimum wage raises that track to rent & cost of living protect the oceans & the rivers and bring back Jujubes
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
Francis was more Mike Shinoda whereas Leo is more Chester
November 24, 2025 at 9:27 AM
Francis was more Mike Shinoda whereas Leo is more Chester
Reposted by Ian, Teller of Tales
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else https://theonion.com/jd-vance-cries-in-bathroom-after-trump-uses-piggy-nickname-on-someone-else/
November 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else https://theonion.com/jd-vance-cries-in-bathroom-after-trump-uses-piggy-nickname-on-someone-else/