Samphis
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samphis.bsky.social
Samphis
@samphis.bsky.social
Just a guy who sometimes tries to make the world a better place. Do no harm. 🌹

He/Him/Cis
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I think it's kind of beautiful that this was Rob Reiner's final line on television
December 15, 2025 at 10:52 PM
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In 2019, a group of researchers found they could accurately predict the life expectancy of the vast majority of people in the United States with only one piece of information:

The Zip Code they were born in.

That's how deep racism and classism run in this country.
December 15, 2025 at 10:31 PM
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If you put the words "LOCAL FOOL" in place of Elon Musk, the headlines make more sense. People who cover him should try it to see if it helps clear up their reporting.

Local Fool Says He'll Build A Colony on Mars

Local Fool Says AI Will Cure Cancer
December 13, 2025 at 7:11 PM
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Indianapolis Star, November 22, 1918
December 12, 2025 at 1:51 AM
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disrupting the Lunchspace with my Inedible Sandwich
November 16, 2023 at 12:11 AM
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this has become a very important video to me
December 7, 2025 at 4:29 AM
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Remember folks, during winter every ten degree temperature drop lowers your tire’s PSI by 1 so it’s very important to go to the gas station and notice that the air thing doesn’t work and then do that five more times at five different gas stations
December 5, 2025 at 2:59 PM
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The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow
December 6, 2025 at 4:29 AM
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The FIFA Peace Prize is the Nobel Peace Prize's Wario
December 6, 2025 at 1:12 AM
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good article! every day i see people posting about how the fbi has lost all credibility and i’m over here like when the fuck did they get credibility
December 5, 2025 at 12:22 AM
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The Supreme Court sided with this dissent:
Um.... This is an actual judicial opinion (dissenting in the TX gerrymandering case)
December 5, 2025 at 1:07 AM
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December 3, 2025 at 11:41 PM
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All super rich guys sound the same now. It’s all “I sleep four hours a night and spend the other twenty hours a day developing a product that’s going to bring us the best widespread poverty anyone’s ever seen.”
December 3, 2025 at 9:53 PM
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Day 8

He's back again. All the same shit as last time. Some jewelry, a houseplant. Mostly birds. So many birds.

Today's horrible addition: 8 cows and 8 women. I begged him to stop. I told him he can't give me people for Christmas. He winked and said he'd be back tomorrow
December 19, 2024 at 12:03 PM
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I know this is the website where basically no one watches cable but there's this DHS ad with Kristi Noem telling people to self-deport and it's reached the point where my 75 year old mother yells obscenities at the TV that I usually see typed out in League of Legends lobbies
December 3, 2025 at 2:14 AM
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My 40-year-old wife went to buy champagne for our wedding anniversary dinner. I phoned the off licence after she left, gave a description of her and what she was buying and requested they ask her for ID. She came home absolutely beaming. It's the simple things.
December 3, 2025 at 12:20 PM
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The fact that 12% of federal judges are Black shows the corruption of DEI. The fact that 67% of Supreme Court Justices belong to a small legal cult called the Federalist Society shows the power of meritocracy.
December 1, 2025 at 2:28 AM
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I don’t know who is ready to hear this but people don’t have to add value

Like people should also be allowed to exist for free
May 27, 2025 at 3:04 AM
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November 24, 2025 at 11:30 PM
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I guess one difference between me and Elon Musk is that, if I was gaming an AI to say these things about me, and everyone could see that I had done this, I'd have simply no choice but to set myself on fire.
November 20, 2025 at 9:52 AM
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I'm mildly surprised Joe Rogan is still alive. He seems like he should have gotten his dick stuck in something on a bet and died of sepsis by now.
November 20, 2025 at 1:11 AM
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Texas getting its gerrymander blocked while California and Virginia eliminate 8-9 Republican seats would be a stupendous, comical outcome.
"But when the Trump Administration reframed its request as a demand to redistrict congressional seats based on their racial makeup, Texas lawmakers immediately jumped on board."
— Trump appointee Jeffrey V. Brown, writing for a 3-judge panel storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
November 18, 2025 at 6:19 PM
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Noem is mad about the whistles. Good job everyone.
November 18, 2025 at 10:50 PM
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POV: you are a young woman celebrating a recent academic success
November 17, 2025 at 7:20 PM
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100% said this and feel free to quote me on it. Also @jackiekashian.bsky.social is a fantastic comedian and you should see her when she comes to your town.
@scalzi.com you say this? bc it’s the best - and your the best but people should know it’s you for realz.
November 15, 2025 at 10:40 PM