Mandy
@rygdance.bsky.social
Boy mom who needs the laughs to survive
Pinned
Mandy
@rygdance.bsky.social
· May 14
No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment
The hatred I have right now toward my neighbors with DJ bass pumping at 10:13pm can’t possibly be coming from the same girl who thanked her neighbors in 1994 for not telling her parents about the strobe light and wine-cooler bottles in the yard while her parents were out of town
June 22, 2025 at 2:15 AM
The hatred I have right now toward my neighbors with DJ bass pumping at 10:13pm can’t possibly be coming from the same girl who thanked her neighbors in 1994 for not telling her parents about the strobe light and wine-cooler bottles in the yard while her parents were out of town
It just occurred to me I’ve been wearing mascara all these years just to try to recapture the natural lashes I had when I was 5
June 18, 2025 at 12:59 AM
It just occurred to me I’ve been wearing mascara all these years just to try to recapture the natural lashes I had when I was 5
Reposted by Mandy
For making devilled eggs
June 17, 2025 at 1:07 AM
For making devilled eggs
Just remembering fondly how my second grade reading teacher used to call me by the nickname “Leaky bladder“ in front of the whole class every time I asked to go to the bathroom…
June 16, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Just remembering fondly how my second grade reading teacher used to call me by the nickname “Leaky bladder“ in front of the whole class every time I asked to go to the bathroom…
Bedtime, lights out.
Nobody:
My son: “Do you think water gets thirsty?… Would that be cannibalism?”
Nobody:
My son: “Do you think water gets thirsty?… Would that be cannibalism?”
June 16, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Bedtime, lights out.
Nobody:
My son: “Do you think water gets thirsty?… Would that be cannibalism?”
Nobody:
My son: “Do you think water gets thirsty?… Would that be cannibalism?”
I need more information
June 14, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I need more information
Surrounded by my fellow dad-issue people here in the Father’s Day card aisle
June 14, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Surrounded by my fellow dad-issue people here in the Father’s Day card aisle
Reposted by Mandy
My parents are “oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I had surgery yesterday” years old
August 2, 2023 at 2:14 PM
My parents are “oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I had surgery yesterday” years old
Reposted by Mandy
Me: I love the smell of cut grass
Grass: you sick bastard
Grass: you sick bastard
June 13, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Me: I love the smell of cut grass
Grass: you sick bastard
Grass: you sick bastard
Reposted by Mandy
you can sneak a lot more spaghetti on the plane if you put it in a guitar case
June 13, 2025 at 4:44 PM
you can sneak a lot more spaghetti on the plane if you put it in a guitar case
Reposted by Mandy
Can't wait for tonight to rewatch this week's zoom meetings
June 13, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Can't wait for tonight to rewatch this week's zoom meetings
Autocorrect doesn’t want me saying if things are “alive”, but it definitely wants me talking about someone named “Alice”
June 13, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Autocorrect doesn’t want me saying if things are “alive”, but it definitely wants me talking about someone named “Alice”
Reposted by Mandy
i wear my fanny pack tilted to the side so motherfuckas know whassup
June 13, 2025 at 5:23 PM
i wear my fanny pack tilted to the side so motherfuckas know whassup
Reposted by Mandy
my grandpa was illiterate so i have no idea if this ouija board is working or not
June 13, 2025 at 12:15 PM
my grandpa was illiterate so i have no idea if this ouija board is working or not
Reposted by Mandy
I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.
June 13, 2025 at 5:03 PM
I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.
Reposted by Mandy
Sex ed for teens should include loading kids, stroller, & groceries/sports gear into the car while the baby has a blowout all in the pouring rain.
June 13, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Sex ed for teens should include loading kids, stroller, & groceries/sports gear into the car while the baby has a blowout all in the pouring rain.
Reposted by Mandy
Showing up at a crime scene with two cups of coffee and handing one to the officer in charge while asking him, “So, what do we have here?” is only appropriate if you’re a cop. I know that now.
May 30, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Showing up at a crime scene with two cups of coffee and handing one to the officer in charge while asking him, “So, what do we have here?” is only appropriate if you’re a cop. I know that now.
This is my emotional support The Office binge.
June 13, 2025 at 11:40 PM
This is my emotional support The Office binge.
Parenting:
I can be annoyed at my kid but I don’t want anyone else to be ever.
I can be annoyed at my kid but I don’t want anyone else to be ever.
May 29, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Parenting:
I can be annoyed at my kid but I don’t want anyone else to be ever.
I can be annoyed at my kid but I don’t want anyone else to be ever.
Thought I’d be a cool fun mom by doing the Slip’n’ Slide with my son. My knee had other plans.
May 27, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Thought I’d be a cool fun mom by doing the Slip’n’ Slide with my son. My knee had other plans.
I used to be irritated by all these youths sporting F•R•I•E•N•D•S t-shirts without ever having seen a single episode, until I remembered how in middle school I owned not one but two of those dancing bears Grateful Dead t-shirts but couldn’t have told you one of their songs
May 22, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I used to be irritated by all these youths sporting F•R•I•E•N•D•S t-shirts without ever having seen a single episode, until I remembered how in middle school I owned not one but two of those dancing bears Grateful Dead t-shirts but couldn’t have told you one of their songs
Reposted by Mandy
Grapefruit juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it has too many anger issues.
May 18, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Grapefruit juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it has too many anger issues.
Reposted by Mandy
Do you think the Vatican still has that new Pope smell?
May 21, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Do you think the Vatican still has that new Pope smell?
I just heard Mary J. Blige’s “Family Affair” on an oldies/easy listening station, yet it feels like just yesterday when a stranger on the dancefloor threw up all over my entire pant leg as that song was playing.
May 20, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I just heard Mary J. Blige’s “Family Affair” on an oldies/easy listening station, yet it feels like just yesterday when a stranger on the dancefloor threw up all over my entire pant leg as that song was playing.
Reposted by Mandy
ozempic like drug but one that takes the weight off your shoulders
May 19, 2025 at 2:18 PM
ozempic like drug but one that takes the weight off your shoulders