I don’t like linking to Twitter but I need y’all to see this clip of Kirstie Alley telling Barbara Walters what her parents were dressed as when they died in a car wreck. You will not guess it. x.com/thewapplehou...

i'm going to put this in my bio

(reposting a bunch of serial killer shit) for what its worth i think this guy was racist

you fools! someone put it there for a reason! you are perturbing the time stream!

who the fuck is “marty”

I’m glad that Bluesky has given some of you a more comfortable online experience, but it seems like it has also lulled a lot of people down to toddler levels when it comes to opsec and overall discernment.

Blue checkmarks, More codes, Dril cancelled as whorephobe
Sweetbee, Jack D, Hellthread is a poor show
White transfemmes and racism, Abusive creepy chaser men
Mind health, vandals, slurs in user handles
Clock pics, Copyright, are 9/11 jokes alright
Corn dad – very bad, what else do I have to add?

i want to say this as plainly and clearly as possible: anyone calling themselves a "leftist" to manipulate the people they should be aligned with into losing hope and abandoning the left, is a fringe right wing collaborator. full stop.

chef boyardee got his start as a busboyardee

INVESTIGATION: the ban of marty was wildly inconsistent when looking at the records compared to other users. marty posted at 12:49PM UTC-6. he expressed remorse and deleted the post at 1:30PM. a screenshot of it was posted at 1:41PM which was reported. he was banned 98 minutes later at 3:19PM.

One part of our upgraded infrastructure may affect your profile.

If you see your handle now says “Invalid handle,” please reverify it by navigating to Settings > Change my handle > Type in your current handle > Verify DNS Record > Update.

(Basically, update to the same handle.)

i just dreamed that medieval siberia had twitter and if one peasant got mad at another he would send him woodcuts like this one wishing for him to be stricken with disease, and he’d tag in the village shaman to back him up

hang on just gonna test something real quick

Wake up honey. A new top tier insult just dropped.

Wow so it’s “euthanized by dynamite” when the zoo does it but when I do it it’s “scarring kids for life” and “super fucked up and illegal” and “I’m going to jail for life”

i love all of you very much but there's a number of people here who've gotten a pretty big head from Being Here First and it's kind of an active detriment to the community & its perception. i get having more power feels fucking *awesome* but some of yall REALLY gotta settle the hell down

You can tell this argument is bullshit because it would never fly if applied to any of the myriad other kinds of jobs dependent on Twitter in one way or another. "Don't block the blue, entertainment journalists need to promote their recaps"

bitch