Paul Haine
@paulhaine.bsky.social
Reposted by Paul Haine
I will peel a carrot or I will wash a carrot but no way am I doing both.
Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
January 9, 2025 at 3:29 AM
I will peel a carrot or I will wash a carrot but no way am I doing both.
Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
Pastor: These are very unusual vows.
I bet Belle would be the first to complain if one day the baker didn’t bake his bread like always
November 10, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I bet Belle would be the first to complain if one day the baker didn’t bake his bread like always
Reposted by Paul Haine
I haven't been on twitter in over a year but it seems like Musk has transformed it into a powerful platform devoted to proving he's the most embarrassing person who's ever lived.
November 10, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I haven't been on twitter in over a year but it seems like Musk has transformed it into a powerful platform devoted to proving he's the most embarrassing person who's ever lived.
Reposted by Paul Haine
Dracula to his architect: Yes, I am absolutely sure I want it to look like this. Stop asking me.
September 25, 2024 at 12:44 AM
Dracula to his architect: Yes, I am absolutely sure I want it to look like this. Stop asking me.
[Danny & Sandy] We go together like ramma-lamma-lamma-ka-dingity-da-dinga-dong
[Everyone else] Cool, cool. Hey guys, just a quick question, what the fuck are you talking about
[Everyone else] Cool, cool. Hey guys, just a quick question, what the fuck are you talking about
November 10, 2025 at 6:19 PM
[Danny & Sandy] We go together like ramma-lamma-lamma-ka-dingity-da-dinga-dong
[Everyone else] Cool, cool. Hey guys, just a quick question, what the fuck are you talking about
[Everyone else] Cool, cool. Hey guys, just a quick question, what the fuck are you talking about
Pointedly using typewriter-style double-dashes to indicate an em dash so that people don't think my writing is AI
November 9, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Pointedly using typewriter-style double-dashes to indicate an em dash so that people don't think my writing is AI
Reposted by Paul Haine
Incredible things are happening in Richmond, Virginia y’all.
November 8, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Incredible things are happening in Richmond, Virginia y’all.
Reposted by Paul Haine
Got to hand it to the Bluesky moderation team, this one's pretty useful
November 9, 2025 at 8:32 AM
Got to hand it to the Bluesky moderation team, this one's pretty useful
Reposted by Paul Haine
NYT committing never-before-seen crimes against em-dashes
November 9, 2025 at 4:01 PM
NYT committing never-before-seen crimes against em-dashes
Watching the 1977 Rankin/Bass animated adaptation of The Hobbit and John Huston plays Gandalf but all I can hear is Noah Cross from Chinatown and it's faintly upsetting
November 9, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Watching the 1977 Rankin/Bass animated adaptation of The Hobbit and John Huston plays Gandalf but all I can hear is Noah Cross from Chinatown and it's faintly upsetting
Marvel should have cast Lee Pace as all the variations of Kang the Conqueror and the main one should have looked like this
November 9, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Marvel should have cast Lee Pace as all the variations of Kang the Conqueror and the main one should have looked like this
This is fringe-less Zooey Deschanel all over again
vince gilligan shaved his moustache and i can tell you right now it would take me like ten years to figure out clark kent is superman. who the fuck is that
November 9, 2025 at 10:00 AM
This is fringe-less Zooey Deschanel all over again
Got to hand it to the Bluesky moderation team, this one's pretty useful
November 9, 2025 at 8:32 AM
Got to hand it to the Bluesky moderation team, this one's pretty useful
"Nobody bought vhs tapes" and "DVD extras were a scam" is a baffling pair of incorrect takes
No? Obviously people bought VHS tapes, it’s not like Suncoast was selling popcorn. And bonus material on DVDs wasn’t a scam.
November 9, 2025 at 8:05 AM
"Nobody bought vhs tapes" and "DVD extras were a scam" is a baffling pair of incorrect takes
Reposted by Paul Haine
Looked at a mixed berry yoghurt in the fridge and now I have a seed caught in my tooth
November 8, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Looked at a mixed berry yoghurt in the fridge and now I have a seed caught in my tooth
Reposted by Paul Haine
we all got that one sullen homie whose leitmotif shares a chord progression and instrumention with an enemy whose identity is yet revealed
October 13, 2025 at 2:19 PM
we all got that one sullen homie whose leitmotif shares a chord progression and instrumention with an enemy whose identity is yet revealed
New couples cosplay just dropped
November 8, 2025 at 6:10 PM
New couples cosplay just dropped
Reposted by Paul Haine
Good morning to everyone except the man in the yellow Hazmat suit who's staring at me through the glass
November 8, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Good morning to everyone except the man in the yellow Hazmat suit who's staring at me through the glass
Reposted by Paul Haine
I think the main reason why I find Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings film to be so endearing is that it's a purely mystical take on the material. Its view of Middle Earth is constantly being reshaped, as if there's no one true experience to be had.
May 12, 2025 at 12:32 PM
I think the main reason why I find Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings film to be so endearing is that it's a purely mystical take on the material. Its view of Middle Earth is constantly being reshaped, as if there's no one true experience to be had.
Reposted by Paul Haine
One of the funniest things about getting older is watching people my age succumb to nostalgia about these terrible films.
God its so insane anakin admits to slaughtering a bunch of kids and it’s just a non factor for padme
November 8, 2025 at 9:59 AM
One of the funniest things about getting older is watching people my age succumb to nostalgia about these terrible films.
Reposted by Paul Haine
I made a “how do you do, fellow kids?” joke to someone in their mid 20s who, it turns out, was too young to have heard of that meme.
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
November 7, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I made a “how do you do, fellow kids?” joke to someone in their mid 20s who, it turns out, was too young to have heard of that meme.
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
Forced to resign my Letterboxd Pro membership after revealing I liked Kenneth Branagh's Frankenstein more than Guillermo del Toro's
November 8, 2025 at 9:38 AM
Forced to resign my Letterboxd Pro membership after revealing I liked Kenneth Branagh's Frankenstein more than Guillermo del Toro's
Faintly irritated at a scene in Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein where there are four people sat around a dinner table with uneaten desserts and one of them declares it's time for brandy and cigars and nobody eats their desserts. I would have eaten those desserts. I would have eaten them so hard
November 7, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Faintly irritated at a scene in Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein where there are four people sat around a dinner table with uneaten desserts and one of them declares it's time for brandy and cigars and nobody eats their desserts. I would have eaten those desserts. I would have eaten them so hard
Reposted by Paul Haine
Imagine you’re an 18th century captain seeking a way through the ice to the North Pole and you encounter the exhausted figure of Victor Frankenstein in pursuit of a distant, superhuman form, and you bring him aboard and eagerly ask for his story and he opens with “It all began when I was 5”
October 21, 2024 at 9:54 PM
Imagine you’re an 18th century captain seeking a way through the ice to the North Pole and you encounter the exhausted figure of Victor Frankenstein in pursuit of a distant, superhuman form, and you bring him aboard and eagerly ask for his story and he opens with “It all began when I was 5”
I feel like we're finding out very quickly how many people out there are basically Star Trek's Reginald Barclay
i've tried talking to chatgpt a few times (because people are always like "how do you know it sucks if you haven't tried it) and the thought I can never get over is "damn this thing does not know shit"
November 7, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I feel like we're finding out very quickly how many people out there are basically Star Trek's Reginald Barclay