Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
RiffTrax Writer / Producer
Los Angeles
Los Angeles
Pinned
Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
· Sep 23
Trying to imagine what it'd take for me to yell at a server. Like if I ordered an omelette and they brought me a bowl of rats? But I'd probably still just be like "I'm sorry, you seem to have brought me someone else's bowl of rats."
A fellow survivor 🙏🚽
Gatlinburg? I HAVE been in there!
December 29, 2025 at 8:21 PM
A fellow survivor 🙏🚽
Reposted by Sean Thomason
Y’all ever walk into a public restroom and immediately whisper “Jesus Christ”
December 27, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Y’all ever walk into a public restroom and immediately whisper “Jesus Christ”
Brigitte Bardot has gotta be one of the horniest names. It’s like the “exposed cleavage” of names.
December 29, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Brigitte Bardot has gotta be one of the horniest names. It’s like the “exposed cleavage” of names.
Y’all ever walk into a public restroom and immediately whisper “Jesus Christ”
December 27, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Y’all ever walk into a public restroom and immediately whisper “Jesus Christ”
I’m in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee with my family and there is a Paula Deen restaurant across the street. Every time I turn around the Paula Deen restaurant is closer. I feel her hand on my shoulder. She giggles softly.
December 27, 2025 at 12:11 AM
I’m in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee with my family and there is a Paula Deen restaurant across the street. Every time I turn around the Paula Deen restaurant is closer. I feel her hand on my shoulder. She giggles softly.
Mom: It’s such a shame what happened to that family.
Sister: I know, after all they’ve been through already.
Brother-in-law: I used to play ball with the youngest one. Good guy.
Dad (hard of hearing): I wore this watch into the ocean in 2013, and it was fine. It’s titanium.
Sister: I know, after all they’ve been through already.
Brother-in-law: I used to play ball with the youngest one. Good guy.
Dad (hard of hearing): I wore this watch into the ocean in 2013, and it was fine. It’s titanium.
December 26, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Mom: It’s such a shame what happened to that family.
Sister: I know, after all they’ve been through already.
Brother-in-law: I used to play ball with the youngest one. Good guy.
Dad (hard of hearing): I wore this watch into the ocean in 2013, and it was fine. It’s titanium.
Sister: I know, after all they’ve been through already.
Brother-in-law: I used to play ball with the youngest one. Good guy.
Dad (hard of hearing): I wore this watch into the ocean in 2013, and it was fine. It’s titanium.
I’m a Christmas movie, Greg. Can you milk me?
December 25, 2025 at 11:57 PM
I’m a Christmas movie, Greg. Can you milk me?
Reposted by Sean Thomason
It’s Christmas Eve, end of the calendar, and we are finishing BIG. Literally the biggest figure, a massive red-eyed Woodstock. “What rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?”
December 24, 2024 at 3:56 PM
It’s Christmas Eve, end of the calendar, and we are finishing BIG. Literally the biggest figure, a massive red-eyed Woodstock. “What rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?”
Reposted by Sean Thomason
It's time to accept it: by comparison you're not that awful
December 24, 2025 at 3:06 PM
It's time to accept it: by comparison you're not that awful
Oh, turns out the new Knives Out movie is actually good like people said. I figured everyone was just full of shit.
December 24, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Oh, turns out the new Knives Out movie is actually good like people said. I figured everyone was just full of shit.
Sometimes you think you’re a pretty smart guy who’s got it together. Then you try to wrap a gift.
December 23, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Sometimes you think you’re a pretty smart guy who’s got it together. Then you try to wrap a gift.
Reposted by Sean Thomason
(wearing quite a large hat) Future’s made of virtual insanity, now
December 23, 2025 at 1:33 AM
(wearing quite a large hat) Future’s made of virtual insanity, now
Reposted by Sean Thomason
I’ve seen enough. It is time to arrest Jeffrey Epstein.
November 14, 2025 at 4:32 PM
I’ve seen enough. It is time to arrest Jeffrey Epstein.
I had no idea how much of cable news now is someone freezing on zoom with a Santa figurine behind them while talking casually about pedophilia.
December 23, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I had no idea how much of cable news now is someone freezing on zoom with a Santa figurine behind them while talking casually about pedophilia.
Reposted by Sean Thomason
A big rubber nipple. Cartman’s hat. This is December 23rd. Amazon has much to answer for.
December 23, 2024 at 3:15 PM
A big rubber nipple. Cartman’s hat. This is December 23rd. Amazon has much to answer for.
Being home is a good time to find out exactly how many sitcoms there are now that are “The Office but in a ________.”
December 23, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Being home is a good time to find out exactly how many sitcoms there are now that are “The Office but in a ________.”
Reposted by Sean Thomason
“Malibu Stacy with New Hat!” Fourth Snoopy that doesn’t look like Snoopy. Or is it Spike? No, no it isn’t.
December 22, 2024 at 3:45 PM
“Malibu Stacy with New Hat!” Fourth Snoopy that doesn’t look like Snoopy. Or is it Spike? No, no it isn’t.
Don’t have to ask me twice!
December 21, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Don’t have to ask me twice!
Reposted by Sean Thomason
It would’ve been too perfect if Charlie Brown never showed up in his own calendar. He’s here at last, but forgot his stripe. At least he looks miserable.
December 21, 2024 at 4:58 PM
It would’ve been too perfect if Charlie Brown never showed up in his own calendar. He’s here at last, but forgot his stripe. At least he looks miserable.
Sometimes I forget how much advice my dad has for the football players, coaches, announcers, and every person in every commercial.
December 21, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Sometimes I forget how much advice my dad has for the football players, coaches, announcers, and every person in every commercial.
Home is mom putting her phone in my face and making me watch all 4 minutes of a video she saw on facebook. Lowkey waterboarding vibes.
December 20, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Home is mom putting her phone in my face and making me watch all 4 minutes of a video she saw on facebook. Lowkey waterboarding vibes.
Reposted by Sean Thomason
Christmas tree, or alien with yellow eye-stalks?
December 20, 2024 at 4:24 PM
Christmas tree, or alien with yellow eye-stalks?
The “black square over someone’s face” is Time’s Person of the Year!
December 20, 2025 at 12:43 AM
The “black square over someone’s face” is Time’s Person of the Year!
I love when new snack companies include their personal story on the packaging. Turns out the people behind these pretzels decided one day to make and sell pretzels.
December 19, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I love when new snack companies include their personal story on the packaging. Turns out the people behind these pretzels decided one day to make and sell pretzels.
When in Dallas (airport)
December 19, 2025 at 7:39 PM
When in Dallas (airport)