Kimber Agonistes
@kimberagonistes.bsky.social
Mistress Agonistes, tantric sex “instructor”
(for entertainment purposes only)
PLEASE TAKE A SEAT. THE ABYSS WILL SEE YOU SHORTLY.
(for entertainment purposes only)
PLEASE TAKE A SEAT. THE ABYSS WILL SEE YOU SHORTLY.
Pinned
Apparently I made a note in my sleep last night for my latest WIP and all the note says is “the goddamn nipple piercings!!” and fuck if I know what I meant.
February 19, 2026 at 3:01 AM
Apparently I made a note in my sleep last night for my latest WIP and all the note says is “the goddamn nipple piercings!!” and fuck if I know what I meant.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
I live a trad life, living off the land simply, because living natural is the best way. If you want to know how to live off the land simply and without technology, please watch my TikTok videos and join the discord, I also stream on Twitch every Thursday where I scream at women who wear pants
February 18, 2026 at 7:16 PM
I live a trad life, living off the land simply, because living natural is the best way. If you want to know how to live off the land simply and without technology, please watch my TikTok videos and join the discord, I also stream on Twitch every Thursday where I scream at women who wear pants
This song is firmly stuck in my head today, and honestly I’m not unhappy about that.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyHN...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyHN...
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. (Official Video)
YouTube video by Gorillaz
www.youtube.com
February 17, 2026 at 8:43 PM
This song is firmly stuck in my head today, and honestly I’m not unhappy about that.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyHN...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyHN...
I saw a werewolf drinkin' a piña colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect
And his hair was perfect
What’s the best song lyric in history?
February 16, 2026 at 8:44 PM
I saw a werewolf drinkin' a piña colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect
And his hair was perfect
One good thing about getting older is that when you get the sudden urge to cut your own hair, you know from bitter experience it’s time to hide the scissors from yourself and go have a stiff drink instead.
February 15, 2026 at 5:29 AM
One good thing about getting older is that when you get the sudden urge to cut your own hair, you know from bitter experience it’s time to hide the scissors from yourself and go have a stiff drink instead.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
For the Valentine’s Day haters, here’s my gift to you. (One of the greatest breakup songs ever? Yessss.)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUA...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUA...
The All-American Rejects - Gives You Hell (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by AllAmericanRjctsVEVO
www.youtube.com
February 14, 2026 at 9:12 PM
For the Valentine’s Day haters, here’s my gift to you. (One of the greatest breakup songs ever? Yessss.)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUA...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUA...
Gigi Perez - Sailor Song (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by geeguscrustVEVO
www.youtube.com
February 14, 2026 at 8:27 PM
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Gift ideas for your special someone:
- basket of banned books
- tiara of ancient bones
- bespoke pillow fort
- mysterious bowl of moss
- tiny twig golem companion, animated with dark magic
- basket of banned books
- tiara of ancient bones
- bespoke pillow fort
- mysterious bowl of moss
- tiny twig golem companion, animated with dark magic
February 14, 2026 at 7:58 PM
Gift ideas for your special someone:
- basket of banned books
- tiara of ancient bones
- bespoke pillow fort
- mysterious bowl of moss
- tiny twig golem companion, animated with dark magic
- basket of banned books
- tiara of ancient bones
- bespoke pillow fort
- mysterious bowl of moss
- tiny twig golem companion, animated with dark magic
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
The dragon heard someone disturbing their hoard. Looking in, they saw a knight checking a bejewelled sword.
"There you are! May I buy this?"
"You have a sword," said the dragon.
"It's for a valentine!"
"A sword?"
"What better gift to give?"
"Hm. That one is blunt. I'll find a sharp one."
"There you are! May I buy this?"
"You have a sword," said the dragon.
"It's for a valentine!"
"A sword?"
"What better gift to give?"
"Hm. That one is blunt. I'll find a sharp one."
February 14, 2026 at 7:58 PM
The dragon heard someone disturbing their hoard. Looking in, they saw a knight checking a bejewelled sword.
"There you are! May I buy this?"
"You have a sword," said the dragon.
"It's for a valentine!"
"A sword?"
"What better gift to give?"
"Hm. That one is blunt. I'll find a sharp one."
"There you are! May I buy this?"
"You have a sword," said the dragon.
"It's for a valentine!"
"A sword?"
"What better gift to give?"
"Hm. That one is blunt. I'll find a sharp one."
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Cartoon: If anyone in Chicago knows this school or an anti ICE organization affiliated with them I would be happy to donate this art. I only wish I could have fully Sal Buscema-ed that punch :)
February 14, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Cartoon: If anyone in Chicago knows this school or an anti ICE organization affiliated with them I would be happy to donate this art. I only wish I could have fully Sal Buscema-ed that punch :)
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
An amazing and delightful essay, and it goes all sorts of places you couldn't possibly be expecting it to.
in which i discuss the reuben, a glorious sandwich and the pride of omaha
and the patriarch reuben, disowned by his father for being a slut
buttondown.com/theswordandt...
and the patriarch reuben, disowned by his father for being a slut
buttondown.com/theswordandt...
Notable Sandwiches #138: Reuben
Welcome back to Notable Sandwiches, the feature where my editor David Swanson and I trip merrily through Wikipedia’s List of Notable Sandwiches. This week, a...
buttondown.com
February 13, 2026 at 7:01 PM
An amazing and delightful essay, and it goes all sorts of places you couldn't possibly be expecting it to.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Without downloading any new pics describe your gender
February 11, 2026 at 5:03 AM
Without downloading any new pics describe your gender
This is the third time in the past three or four months that I’ve found a strange cat waiting for pets from me outside my front door.
I think word is getting around that I’m good for about half an hour of scritches and baby talk.
I think word is getting around that I’m good for about half an hour of scritches and baby talk.
February 11, 2026 at 4:18 AM
This is the third time in the past three or four months that I’ve found a strange cat waiting for pets from me outside my front door.
I think word is getting around that I’m good for about half an hour of scritches and baby talk.
I think word is getting around that I’m good for about half an hour of scritches and baby talk.
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
I wonder why I always have the greatest ideas at the most inconvenient times.
I have this trench coat that’s awesome in every way…except for the color, which is a terrible off-white blah.
And suddenly I’m thinking: Paintbrushes! An array of marine-colored fabric dyes!
MARIANA TRENCH COAT!!!
I have this trench coat that’s awesome in every way…except for the color, which is a terrible off-white blah.
And suddenly I’m thinking: Paintbrushes! An array of marine-colored fabric dyes!
MARIANA TRENCH COAT!!!
February 10, 2026 at 8:08 AM
I wonder why I always have the greatest ideas at the most inconvenient times.
I have this trench coat that’s awesome in every way…except for the color, which is a terrible off-white blah.
And suddenly I’m thinking: Paintbrushes! An array of marine-colored fabric dyes!
MARIANA TRENCH COAT!!!
I have this trench coat that’s awesome in every way…except for the color, which is a terrible off-white blah.
And suddenly I’m thinking: Paintbrushes! An array of marine-colored fabric dyes!
MARIANA TRENCH COAT!!!
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Our very first Bring Your Pet to the Zoo Day will also be our very last Bring Your Pet to the Zoo Day. We don’t know what we were thinking.
February 10, 2026 at 6:37 AM
Our very first Bring Your Pet to the Zoo Day will also be our very last Bring Your Pet to the Zoo Day. We don’t know what we were thinking.
It took longer than I expected, but AO3 finally got me shouting “What the FUCK did I just fucking read??”
February 10, 2026 at 4:50 AM
It took longer than I expected, but AO3 finally got me shouting “What the FUCK did I just fucking read??”
Reposted by Kimber Agonistes
Come join my new site, AnyWitchWay! We have all kinds of witches for your magick needs. Stevie Nicks Impersonator! Mall Goth! Girls At Sleepover! Guy Who Read Carlos Castaneda That One Time! Possibly Indigenous Healer! ~~BABUSHKA~~
Sign up now, and get buy one, get one half off your first ritual!
Sign up now, and get buy one, get one half off your first ritual!
February 9, 2026 at 6:05 PM
Come join my new site, AnyWitchWay! We have all kinds of witches for your magick needs. Stevie Nicks Impersonator! Mall Goth! Girls At Sleepover! Guy Who Read Carlos Castaneda That One Time! Possibly Indigenous Healer! ~~BABUSHKA~~
Sign up now, and get buy one, get one half off your first ritual!
Sign up now, and get buy one, get one half off your first ritual!
A while back I heard a loud crash somewhere in my house but I couldn’t figure out where it came from.
I just now discovered that it was a horrible baroque monstrosity of a mirror that fell over in my storeroom, and honestly I’m glad that’s what it was. Even if I get yet another 7 years of bad luck.
I just now discovered that it was a horrible baroque monstrosity of a mirror that fell over in my storeroom, and honestly I’m glad that’s what it was. Even if I get yet another 7 years of bad luck.
February 10, 2026 at 12:47 AM
A while back I heard a loud crash somewhere in my house but I couldn’t figure out where it came from.
I just now discovered that it was a horrible baroque monstrosity of a mirror that fell over in my storeroom, and honestly I’m glad that’s what it was. Even if I get yet another 7 years of bad luck.
I just now discovered that it was a horrible baroque monstrosity of a mirror that fell over in my storeroom, and honestly I’m glad that’s what it was. Even if I get yet another 7 years of bad luck.
I’ve been known to randomly complete a long-winded complaint with “…and shave my head and magic-marker my wienie and stuff me in my locker.”
(From The Final Sacrifice)
(From The Final Sacrifice)
Does anyone else have an MST3K line they use regularly, even if it makes no sense out of context?
Because I have both "That'll keep your panfish down for a while." and "Come come, boys, we must confound Jerry at every turn!" from MST3K the movie alone.
Because I have both "That'll keep your panfish down for a while." and "Come come, boys, we must confound Jerry at every turn!" from MST3K the movie alone.
February 9, 2026 at 11:49 PM
I’ve been known to randomly complete a long-winded complaint with “…and shave my head and magic-marker my wienie and stuff me in my locker.”
(From The Final Sacrifice)
(From The Final Sacrifice)
“Canadian Villain: Garth Vader.“
Does anyone else have an MST3K line they use regularly, even if it makes no sense out of context?
Because I have both "That'll keep your panfish down for a while." and "Come come, boys, we must confound Jerry at every turn!" from MST3K the movie alone.
Because I have both "That'll keep your panfish down for a while." and "Come come, boys, we must confound Jerry at every turn!" from MST3K the movie alone.
February 9, 2026 at 10:39 PM
“Canadian Villain: Garth Vader.“
Oooh, pretty men on ice skates
February 9, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Oooh, pretty men on ice skates
No touchdowns were scored until I took off my lucky Seahawks hat (it itches).
i’m sorry/you’re welcome (where applicable)
i’m sorry/you’re welcome (where applicable)
February 9, 2026 at 3:01 AM
No touchdowns were scored until I took off my lucky Seahawks hat (it itches).
i’m sorry/you’re welcome (where applicable)
i’m sorry/you’re welcome (where applicable)