Kelly Oristano
@kellyo101.bsky.social
Haven't had to make a bio for an app profile in maybe a decade? I used to try to make them funny.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression.
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
February 2, 2026 at 3:58 AM
DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression.
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
February 1, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
read online that someone set-up a premium rate phone number where callers get charged $3.99/ min. then they posted flyers in their neighborhood that said "call this number to report illegal aliens," but the number just puts them on hold with music. so far, they've made $17,000
February 1, 2026 at 8:28 PM
read online that someone set-up a premium rate phone number where callers get charged $3.99/ min. then they posted flyers in their neighborhood that said "call this number to report illegal aliens," but the number just puts them on hold with music. so far, they've made $17,000
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
This is like a dark version of a Seinfeld episode when all the storylines dovetail together.
BREAKING: ICE has halted "all movement" at a Texas detention facility due to measles infections, DHS confirms.
ICE halts "all movement" at Texas detention facility due to measles infections
The measles cases at the Dilley Immigration Processing Center were detected Friday, Department of Homeland Security spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin said in a statement to CBS News.
cbsn.ws
February 2, 2026 at 2:08 AM
This is like a dark version of a Seinfeld episode when all the storylines dovetail together.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
Well they couldn’t run a concert venue but I’m sure they’re doing a good job running a country
February 2, 2026 at 1:08 AM
Well they couldn’t run a concert venue but I’m sure they’re doing a good job running a country
Anger is a first amendment activity.
February 1, 2026 at 11:12 PM
Anger is a first amendment activity.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
For those commenting on the agents' surnames.
February 1, 2026 at 10:14 PM
For those commenting on the agents' surnames.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
the Epstein files make it very clear why the MeToo backlash was so extreme and why so much of elite society preferred Donald Trump ruling us like a king to the barest hint of accountability
February 1, 2026 at 9:27 PM
the Epstein files make it very clear why the MeToo backlash was so extreme and why so much of elite society preferred Donald Trump ruling us like a king to the barest hint of accountability
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
Tomorrow, Mike Johnson's majority in the House will be down to one vote, which means, in my humble opinion, that Rep. Thomas Massie has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever.
February 1, 2026 at 10:39 PM
Tomorrow, Mike Johnson's majority in the House will be down to one vote, which means, in my humble opinion, that Rep. Thomas Massie has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
I know Tarrant County, I've lived there, and this is exactly as insane as everyone says it is, to the point that I'm actually concerned that the lesson learned will be "things are so shitty right now that we don't have to offer or do anything to win"
The largest GOP county in the US, Tarrant Co, TX, suddenly turns blue. And it isn't even close.
February 1, 2026 at 10:26 PM
I know Tarrant County, I've lived there, and this is exactly as insane as everyone says it is, to the point that I'm actually concerned that the lesson learned will be "things are so shitty right now that we don't have to offer or do anything to win"
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
“Children were in the crowd screaming.”
Just experienced the most intense tear gassing of my life by federal officers outside the ICE facility in Portland where marchers gathered. There was no fast exit as they indiscriminately threw loads of gas and flash bangs. Children were in the crowd screaming. @oregoncapitalchronicle.com
February 1, 2026 at 2:15 AM
“Children were in the crowd screaming.”
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
Just got gassed pretty good at the labor union anti-ICE protest in Portland. Massive march, 5-10k strong. Vibes were very much liberal rather than radical. Lots of kids and older folks.
They gassed the whole crowd as soon as it marched on ICE, in broad daylight.
They gassed the whole crowd as soon as it marched on ICE, in broad daylight.
February 1, 2026 at 2:03 AM
Just got gassed pretty good at the labor union anti-ICE protest in Portland. Massive march, 5-10k strong. Vibes were very much liberal rather than radical. Lots of kids and older folks.
They gassed the whole crowd as soon as it marched on ICE, in broad daylight.
They gassed the whole crowd as soon as it marched on ICE, in broad daylight.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
we said all along that they wanted Gawker dead not because we embarrassed a pro wrestler but because the Epstein story is one Gawker was covering a decade before most other people caught up & was just one of many stories exposing powerful people and their misdeeds
Among the batch of newly released emails from Jeffrey Epstein: Epstein telling Peter Thiel he would “gladly share…expenses for the Gawker suit.”
This was sent the day after @rmac.bsky.social and @mattdrange.bsky.social reported in Forbes that Thiel was behind the lawsuit that would bankrupt Gawker
This was sent the day after @rmac.bsky.social and @mattdrange.bsky.social reported in Forbes that Thiel was behind the lawsuit that would bankrupt Gawker
January 31, 2026 at 8:31 PM
we said all along that they wanted Gawker dead not because we embarrassed a pro wrestler but because the Epstein story is one Gawker was covering a decade before most other people caught up & was just one of many stories exposing powerful people and their misdeeds
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
I can't think of anything less patriotic than allowing a corrupt pedophile to suspend the constitution so he can murder citizens, enrich himself, and imprison journalists.
January 30, 2026 at 9:09 PM
I can't think of anything less patriotic than allowing a corrupt pedophile to suspend the constitution so he can murder citizens, enrich himself, and imprison journalists.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
pizzagate and qanon were not onto something, they were orchestrated by pedophiles to make accusing people of pedophilia make you look insane so that they could continue doing pedophile shit. fucking christ
January 31, 2026 at 7:46 PM
pizzagate and qanon were not onto something, they were orchestrated by pedophiles to make accusing people of pedophilia make you look insane so that they could continue doing pedophile shit. fucking christ
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
BREAKING: Federal judge orders Adrian Conejo Arias and his minor son, L.C.R., released.
"The Great Writ and release from detention are GRANTED."
"Civics lesson to the government: Administrative warrants issued by the executive branch to itself do not pass probable cause muster."
"The Great Writ and release from detention are GRANTED."
"Civics lesson to the government: Administrative warrants issued by the executive branch to itself do not pass probable cause muster."
![Ultimately, Petitioners may, because of the arcane United States immigration system, return to
their home country, involuntarily or by self-deportation. But that result should occur through a more
orderly and humane policy than currently in place.
Philadelphia, September 17, 1787: "Well, Dr. Franklin, what do we have?" "A republic, if you
can keep it."
With a judicial finger in the constitutional dike,
It is so ORDERED.
SIGNED this 31st day of February [sic], 2026.
Fred Biery
FRED BIERY
UNITED STATES DISTRICT JUDGE
Credit: Bystander
Matthew 19:14
John 11:35](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:36eqtmzysqf7wsslczw4uxcd/bafkreiak3ebffxgjk622vrkrsj2zbsqdvs63ap6mz7sm3xinrcofrpxky4@jpeg)
January 31, 2026 at 8:44 PM
BREAKING: Federal judge orders Adrian Conejo Arias and his minor son, L.C.R., released.
"The Great Writ and release from detention are GRANTED."
"Civics lesson to the government: Administrative warrants issued by the executive branch to itself do not pass probable cause muster."
"The Great Writ and release from detention are GRANTED."
"Civics lesson to the government: Administrative warrants issued by the executive branch to itself do not pass probable cause muster."
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
Seeing that photo of Obama putting the Medal of Freedom on Tom Homan circulate again. It's fake. Homan did get a civil service award during the Obama administration, but it wasn't the Medal of Freedom, it wasn't a medal (it was a certificate), and Obama didn't present it to him in person.
January 31, 2026 at 3:26 PM
Seeing that photo of Obama putting the Medal of Freedom on Tom Homan circulate again. It's fake. Homan did get a civil service award during the Obama administration, but it wasn't the Medal of Freedom, it wasn't a medal (it was a certificate), and Obama didn't present it to him in person.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
The group bike ride for Alex Pretti is about to depart in Minneapolis, stopping at his memorial, then Renee Good’s, and finishing at the VFW. If you can join, hop on anywhere. It’s a warm 17° & sunny!
I’ve never seen this many cyclists for a group ride. ⚡️✊🏽⚡️🚲⚡️✊🏽⚡️ #RIPPretti
I’ve never seen this many cyclists for a group ride. ⚡️✊🏽⚡️🚲⚡️✊🏽⚡️ #RIPPretti
January 31, 2026 at 7:41 PM
The group bike ride for Alex Pretti is about to depart in Minneapolis, stopping at his memorial, then Renee Good’s, and finishing at the VFW. If you can join, hop on anywhere. It’s a warm 17° & sunny!
I’ve never seen this many cyclists for a group ride. ⚡️✊🏽⚡️🚲⚡️✊🏽⚡️ #RIPPretti
I’ve never seen this many cyclists for a group ride. ⚡️✊🏽⚡️🚲⚡️✊🏽⚡️ #RIPPretti
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
We finally know what happened to DOJ's (frivolous) misconduct complaint against Chief Judge Boasberg:
It was transferred by Chief Justice Roberts from the D.C. Circuit to Sixth Circuit Chief Judge Jeff Sutton, and Sutton dismissed it in a ... direct ... memorandum and order just two weeks later:
It was transferred by Chief Justice Roberts from the D.C. Circuit to Sixth Circuit Chief Judge Jeff Sutton, and Sutton dismissed it in a ... direct ... memorandum and order just two weeks later:
www.opn.ca6.uscourts.gov
January 31, 2026 at 8:01 PM
We finally know what happened to DOJ's (frivolous) misconduct complaint against Chief Judge Boasberg:
It was transferred by Chief Justice Roberts from the D.C. Circuit to Sixth Circuit Chief Judge Jeff Sutton, and Sutton dismissed it in a ... direct ... memorandum and order just two weeks later:
It was transferred by Chief Justice Roberts from the D.C. Circuit to Sixth Circuit Chief Judge Jeff Sutton, and Sutton dismissed it in a ... direct ... memorandum and order just two weeks later:
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
Again, when Bari Weiss said she wanted to do "the fucking news" she apparently meant something different than what we initially assumed
Looking at the list of 19 new CBS News commentators, the median number of times they appear in the searchable Epstein database is 2 and the mean is 100
January 31, 2026 at 6:40 PM
Again, when Bari Weiss said she wanted to do "the fucking news" she apparently meant something different than what we initially assumed
Every post in this thread.
It makes sense that the actually-real global cabal of powerful pedophiles made destroying USAID one of their first priorities.
They have to protect the global supply of profoundly desperate poor kids - that’s exactly who they target for trafficking and rape.
They have to protect the global supply of profoundly desperate poor kids - that’s exactly who they target for trafficking and rape.
January 31, 2026 at 6:38 PM
Every post in this thread.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
DM me? We used to get hundreds of highly qualified applicants for a single job posting. Good prosecutors are increasingly hesitant to work for this DOJ.
January 31, 2026 at 3:51 PM
DM me? We used to get hundreds of highly qualified applicants for a single job posting. Good prosecutors are increasingly hesitant to work for this DOJ.
Reposted by Kelly Oristano
You can test new tech ideas using the Seinfeld Test
Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs)
Good tech.
Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales)
Bad tech.
Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs)
Good tech.
Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales)
Bad tech.
January 31, 2026 at 6:57 AM
You can test new tech ideas using the Seinfeld Test
Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs)
Good tech.
Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales)
Bad tech.
Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs)
Good tech.
Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales)
Bad tech.