Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
@keffy.bsky.social
he/him/they/them
500 tiny scientists in a trenchcoat / apocalyptic trans man.
I write SF/F and have had stories published in Uncanny, Lightspeed, Apex, and others. I also edit(ed) GlitterShip which is on hiatus atm.
M.Phil Genetics
https://ko-fi.com/keffyk
500 tiny scientists in a trenchcoat / apocalyptic trans man.
I write SF/F and have had stories published in Uncanny, Lightspeed, Apex, and others. I also edit(ed) GlitterShip which is on hiatus atm.
M.Phil Genetics
https://ko-fi.com/keffyk
I have discovered that although I am still not good at FPS, my previous shit performance did have something to do with running games on a complete potato of a machine - which probably explains why I was better at no-build Fortnite than Apex, as I think Fortnite ran better on the potato.
January 19, 2026 at 4:00 AM
I have discovered that although I am still not good at FPS, my previous shit performance did have something to do with running games on a complete potato of a machine - which probably explains why I was better at no-build Fortnite than Apex, as I think Fortnite ran better on the potato.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Man detained in Minneapolis dies in ICE custody in Texas www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...
Man detained in Minneapolis dies in ICE custody in Texas
A man arrested by immigration officials in Minneapolis died in federal detention in Texas.
www.mprnews.org
January 19, 2026 at 1:37 AM
Man detained in Minneapolis dies in ICE custody in Texas www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
It’s really funny as a miserable lesbian to see people look at a miserable lesbian and go “seems problematic…” No bitch! Miserable lesbians are the backbone of society! Nothing works without us! Give us grenades and heroin!
Pluribus reddit discourse is so funny. “Are we supposed to root for Carol” you are supposed to watch how her character interacts with the world “she’s very unlikable” wow that’s crazy can they do that
January 17, 2026 at 5:25 PM
It’s really funny as a miserable lesbian to see people look at a miserable lesbian and go “seems problematic…” No bitch! Miserable lesbians are the backbone of society! Nothing works without us! Give us grenades and heroin!
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Top of the charts at my house today
January 17, 2026 at 2:43 PM
Top of the charts at my house today
only reposting the image in this repost so I can add alt text
![Image is of the following text: "We had arrived together in Lee's Chrysler station wagon. He was staggering drunk. I begged him to let me drive. "Fuck you." He drew back a fist. He had a whole repertoire of violent gestures, many of them cribbed from his hero, Toshiro Mifune. I tried to grab the keys, but he slashed me with his imaginary samurai sword. These were movie blows. The [sic] stopped an inch short of your neck or chin. I snatched the keys and got into the driver's seat, the women in the back. "Get in, Lee." Another battle of wills. How could he meekly submit, this warrior, this conqueror? We pleaded with him. He stalked and staggered round the car, raining blows on it. Finally, he found a way of saving face. He climbed up and crouched on the roof rack. Despite our entreaties, he would not come down. I decided to drive slowly down the pier, hoping that the cool ocean air might sober him up. I stopped as we got to the public road. I got out. He snarled at me, would not get down. I was at my wits' end. The streets were deserted. I drove slowly down the Pacific Coast Highway towards Malibu. Flashing lights in my rear-view mirror — sirens. I pulled over. The patrolman approached the car, warily loosening his revolver holster. He looked up, then at me. "Do you know you have Lee Marvin on your roof?"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:wixv2inc435pakfp3jkitli2/bafkreic6xtu7a77x2vz2ckue6oislhh3vflj745wx44caexkzzjcboacc4@jpeg)
January 18, 2026 at 2:47 PM
only reposting the image in this repost so I can add alt text
Had 4 completely new players at my table today, always a bit of a challenge in a campaign setting - had to hand them some level 6 characters. They had a good time, the rogue got to use sneak dice, the wizard fireballed, the barbarian killed some ogres and the artificer did some artificer stuff.
January 18, 2026 at 7:13 AM
Had 4 completely new players at my table today, always a bit of a challenge in a campaign setting - had to hand them some level 6 characters. They had a good time, the rogue got to use sneak dice, the wizard fireballed, the barbarian killed some ogres and the artificer did some artificer stuff.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Anything else killed 5 people 3 weeks into the year, we'd see 24/7 coverage and investigations galore.
January 18, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Anything else killed 5 people 3 weeks into the year, we'd see 24/7 coverage and investigations galore.
I don't think it's unfair to question white people who claim to do a ton of anti-racism work but are only seem to be interested in doing the work as long as they run the organization and/or are offered opportunities to write and speak about it in public.
January 17, 2026 at 11:53 PM
I don't think it's unfair to question white people who claim to do a ton of anti-racism work but are only seem to be interested in doing the work as long as they run the organization and/or are offered opportunities to write and speak about it in public.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Jon Stewart is a transphobic hack who never got cancelled (regrettably); if he was he’d be Bill Maher by now and completely irrelevant
This idea is absolutely brain-dead and absolutely everywhere.
January 17, 2026 at 11:31 PM
Jon Stewart is a transphobic hack who never got cancelled (regrettably); if he was he’d be Bill Maher by now and completely irrelevant
important news, mr finn the dog is 9 years old today and he has so far celebrated by licking the usb ports on my newly built pc (????) and screaming at me because he has Opinions
January 17, 2026 at 2:41 PM
important news, mr finn the dog is 9 years old today and he has so far celebrated by licking the usb ports on my newly built pc (????) and screaming at me because he has Opinions
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Wow, sure would be pretty crazy if a ton of experts in the artificial intelligence field relentlessly warned everyone about this state of affairs being inevitable over and over for years.
January 17, 2026 at 11:38 AM
Wow, sure would be pretty crazy if a ton of experts in the artificial intelligence field relentlessly warned everyone about this state of affairs being inevitable over and over for years.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Excellent thread. I wish I'd had it back when I did my teaching in classrooms.
In light of today’s conversation on academic accommodations, I’m going to revive a thread lost to time when I deleted my Twitter profile.
It’s about a bunch of academic accommodations that instructors can offer in lieu of an extension on an assignment. 🧵
It’s about a bunch of academic accommodations that instructors can offer in lieu of an extension on an assignment. 🧵
January 17, 2026 at 4:21 AM
Excellent thread. I wish I'd had it back when I did my teaching in classrooms.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Breaking it down in mom jeans. Love it.
January 16, 2026 at 9:16 PM
Breaking it down in mom jeans. Love it.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Mr. Beast plus the Mormons is a natural alliance: both are unrepentantly misogynist, white supremacist, and anti-queer.
The YouTube phenomenon known as MrBeast has partnered with the LDS Church on philanthropy, and church President Dallin Oaks says he hopes lower missionary ages will lead to lower marriage ages.
Latest from Mormon Land: YouTube’s MrBeast partners with LDS Church; spate of new new stakes created
The YouTube phenomenon known as MrBeast has partnered with the LDS Church on philanthropy, and church President Dallin Oaks says he hopes lower missionary ages will lead to lower marriage ages.
www.sltrib.com
January 16, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Mr. Beast plus the Mormons is a natural alliance: both are unrepentantly misogynist, white supremacist, and anti-queer.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
I called the Herr's Product Quality Concerns line and reached a nice lady. She listened to my whole little saga.
She waited, then said, "I bet you believe they're made from real potatoes now!"
I may never recover.
She waited, then said, "I bet you believe they're made from real potatoes now!"
I may never recover.
Got my first bag of potato chips in months. Cracked it open. The first chip out of the bag was... soggy?
The second chip was almost fungal.
Baffled, I explored the bag and discovered AN ENTIRE POTATO. Unsliced, brined, like a wad of seasoning juice. It had survived, and now was juicing the chips.
The second chip was almost fungal.
Baffled, I explored the bag and discovered AN ENTIRE POTATO. Unsliced, brined, like a wad of seasoning juice. It had survived, and now was juicing the chips.
January 16, 2026 at 7:09 PM
I called the Herr's Product Quality Concerns line and reached a nice lady. She listened to my whole little saga.
She waited, then said, "I bet you believe they're made from real potatoes now!"
I may never recover.
She waited, then said, "I bet you believe they're made from real potatoes now!"
I may never recover.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Got my first bag of potato chips in months. Cracked it open. The first chip out of the bag was... soggy?
The second chip was almost fungal.
Baffled, I explored the bag and discovered AN ENTIRE POTATO. Unsliced, brined, like a wad of seasoning juice. It had survived, and now was juicing the chips.
The second chip was almost fungal.
Baffled, I explored the bag and discovered AN ENTIRE POTATO. Unsliced, brined, like a wad of seasoning juice. It had survived, and now was juicing the chips.
January 16, 2026 at 5:24 PM
Got my first bag of potato chips in months. Cracked it open. The first chip out of the bag was... soggy?
The second chip was almost fungal.
Baffled, I explored the bag and discovered AN ENTIRE POTATO. Unsliced, brined, like a wad of seasoning juice. It had survived, and now was juicing the chips.
The second chip was almost fungal.
Baffled, I explored the bag and discovered AN ENTIRE POTATO. Unsliced, brined, like a wad of seasoning juice. It had survived, and now was juicing the chips.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
New Evidence Reveals Renee Good Was Still Alive When ICE Blocked Medic newrepublic.com/post/205373/... via @newrepublic.com
New Evidence Reveals Renee Good Was Still Alive When ICE Blocked Medic
ICE’s defense on the horrific Minneapolis killing is falling apart.
newrepublic.com
January 16, 2026 at 5:35 PM
New Evidence Reveals Renee Good Was Still Alive When ICE Blocked Medic newrepublic.com/post/205373/... via @newrepublic.com
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
🏳️⚧️ CASE VICTORY: Yesterday, a Louisiana district court denied the state’s motion to dismiss Soe v. Louisiana State Board of Medical Examiners––our challenge against Louisiana’s ban on gender-affirming care for trans youth––allowing the case to proceed to trial.
Read more: tinyurl.com/ydwrpzk4
Read more: tinyurl.com/ydwrpzk4
January 16, 2026 at 5:02 PM
🏳️⚧️ CASE VICTORY: Yesterday, a Louisiana district court denied the state’s motion to dismiss Soe v. Louisiana State Board of Medical Examiners––our challenge against Louisiana’s ban on gender-affirming care for trans youth––allowing the case to proceed to trial.
Read more: tinyurl.com/ydwrpzk4
Read more: tinyurl.com/ydwrpzk4
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Oh hey Minnesotans, we should probably be contacting the governor's office about this and other things in all that free time we have.
mn.gov/governor/con...
mn.gov/governor/con...
Yesterday, the Minneapolis City Council unanimously passed a resolution calling on Governor Walz to enact an eviction moratorium to keep Minneapolis families in their homes and protect them from ICE.
sahanjournal.com/housing/minn...
sahanjournal.com/housing/minn...
Minneapolis City Council asks Walz to declare eviction moratorium
Several Minneapolis City Council members called for Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz to issue an order that would prohibit evictions of residents amid the ICE surge.
sahanjournal.com
January 16, 2026 at 5:08 PM
Oh hey Minnesotans, we should probably be contacting the governor's office about this and other things in all that free time we have.
mn.gov/governor/con...
mn.gov/governor/con...
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
Hahaha, I just checked and the school district DOES have copies NOW. Perhaps the hate groups complaining about it brought it to the buyer's attention. Good job, nerds.
January 16, 2026 at 11:22 AM
Hahaha, I just checked and the school district DOES have copies NOW. Perhaps the hate groups complaining about it brought it to the buyer's attention. Good job, nerds.
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
The above doesn't count the challenge to our book in South Carolina, because the school didn't even have a copy to begin with. The group just tried to ban a hypothetical copy of the book because were it to exist it would lower their property values.
Banned Book Club has now been targeted by a South Carolina group called Concerned Citizens for Education.
They want it banned from their school district. They are retirees with no kids in the district but say "My home value is directly impacted by the quality of our schools."
They want it banned from their school district. They are retirees with no kids in the district but say "My home value is directly impacted by the quality of our schools."
January 16, 2026 at 11:16 AM
The above doesn't count the challenge to our book in South Carolina, because the school didn't even have a copy to begin with. The group just tried to ban a hypothetical copy of the book because were it to exist it would lower their property values.
Tfw you're jet lagged af and people are like zomg how are you not awake mf it's not even 6am yet and i'm from 2 timezones west shut up
January 16, 2026 at 10:47 AM
Tfw you're jet lagged af and people are like zomg how are you not awake mf it's not even 6am yet and i'm from 2 timezones west shut up
CBS news out here deciding to do as much violence to trans people, including literal children as possible.
January 16, 2026 at 10:19 AM
CBS news out here deciding to do as much violence to trans people, including literal children as possible.
Dear CBS: fuck you
CBS News Changes Guidance on Trans Athletes to Refer to 'Biological Sex at Birth'
www.thewrap.com/medi...
#transgender #trans #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA
www.thewrap.com/medi...
#transgender #trans #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA
CBS News Changes Guidance on Trans Athletes to Refer to ‘Biological Sex at Birth’ | Exclusive
The standards change comes months after the network deferred to guidance from the Trans Journalists Association
www.thewrap.com
January 16, 2026 at 10:18 AM
Dear CBS: fuck you
Reposted by Lazy Vampire Enthusiast (Keffy)
In April 2024, Spotify implemented a new scheme: songs with less than 1k streams per year would no longer receive royalties.
The data for 2025 was just released via Luminate, and 88% of songs have been demonetized.
Read it again: 88% of songs on Spotify have been demonetized.
The data for 2025 was just released via Luminate, and 88% of songs have been demonetized.
Read it again: 88% of songs on Spotify have been demonetized.
January 15, 2026 at 4:58 PM
In April 2024, Spotify implemented a new scheme: songs with less than 1k streams per year would no longer receive royalties.
The data for 2025 was just released via Luminate, and 88% of songs have been demonetized.
Read it again: 88% of songs on Spotify have been demonetized.
The data for 2025 was just released via Luminate, and 88% of songs have been demonetized.
Read it again: 88% of songs on Spotify have been demonetized.