John Pontoon, dissident rando
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johnpontoon.bsky.social
John Pontoon, dissident rando
@johnpontoon.bsky.social
I once sang, “From where I stand you look like ants / and there’s an aardvark in my pants.” It wasn’t literally true at the time.

I don't have anything to sell you... except hope! Ha ha jk.

Past talent: soundcloud.com/johnpontoon
Pinned
Surely at some point, organizations had a sensible bias against being led by know-nothing dumbfucks? I believe this must be true because humanity has torn iron from the ground and made it into buildings a thousand feet high.
When I tell my son about dinner plans I always end it with “So don’t fill up on beets.”
January 4, 2026 at 8:57 PM
Now more than ever
01 G.I. Joe - Hey, You're Not My Friend
YouTube video by ejmad
m.youtube.com
January 4, 2026 at 8:28 PM
Re-upping this, no particular reason.
Still feeling confident in my prediction that the USA will be the villain in World War 3. I didn’t expect that it would happen in 2026 though.
It's really hard to overstate how hugely favored conservatives were up until two months ago.

Here's the graph of Canadian polling between March 2023 and March 2025. (Reminder: blue is conservative.)

Those are months and months of 20+ point leads for Tories.
January 4, 2026 at 8:01 PM
Yeah, ask any American and they’ll tell you what a huge problem Cuba is. YUGE problem, uh huh.
“Is the Cuban government the Trump administration’s next target?”

Marco Rubio: ‘The Cuban government is a huge problem … I think they’re in a lot of trouble, yes’
January 4, 2026 at 5:42 PM
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
Yeah, people are fixating on a Cabinet Secretary being given a sovereign country to run because the president waged war without congressional approval and kidnapped the old leader. Weird that they’d get hung up on that.
WELKER: Mr. Secretary, are you running Venezuela right now?

MARCO RUBIO: Yeah. People are fixating on that. Here's the bottom line -- we expect to see changes in Venezuela
January 4, 2026 at 3:35 PM
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
My whole life, advocating war has been fed to me as “the adult position,” akin to drinking your coffee black or reading the business section of the newspaper. Let’s be very clear — war is the childish nonsense of impulsive destructive idiots playing baby-brained video games with real human lives.
January 4, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
The headphones and blindfold are super duper necessary to keep Maduro from figuring out the directions back to Venezuela. His cell phone has also been fitted with headphones and blindfold to foil his Google Maps function. US military covers every angle.
The first official photo of Maduro after his capture by American forces.
January 3, 2026 at 6:08 PM
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
Fact check: Infinite Pinocchios
Trump: "It was an assault like people have not seen since World War 2"
January 3, 2026 at 6:02 PM
The headphones and blindfold are super duper necessary to keep Maduro from figuring out the directions back to Venezuela. His cell phone has also been fitted with headphones and blindfold to foil his Google Maps function. US military covers every angle.
The first official photo of Maduro after his capture by American forces.
January 3, 2026 at 6:08 PM
Fact check: Infinite Pinocchios
Trump: "It was an assault like people have not seen since World War 2"
January 3, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Currently listening to Trout Mask Replica, an album I’ve never liked and still don’t, in sympathy for the people of Venezuela.
January 3, 2026 at 5:55 PM
He’s so Doneroe.
Trump: "All the way back it dated to the Monroe Doctrines. And the Monroe Doctrine is a big deal. But we've superseded it by a lot. By a real lot. They now call it the Donroe Document. I don't know. It's Monroe Doctrine. We sort of forgot about it."
January 3, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
I’m surprised nobody AT ALL has mentioned Manuel Noriega yet. Did the 1989 US invasion of Panama and arrest of its president really happen, or did I just dream it?
January 3, 2026 at 4:34 PM
Real talk, in the USA, kidnapping Venezuela’s president and bombing them won’t move the needle for Joe six-pack. Unlike most of Don’s shit, like kidnapping citizens to torture prisons or covering up a pedophile ring, this stuff is highly precedented. Ask Noriega.
January 3, 2026 at 2:05 PM
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
Support Steve Rude! I just picked up a bunch of digital sketchbooks from his web store.
www.steverude.com/collections/...
Veteran US Comic Artist Steve Rude Needs Your Help
Help The Dude Out Over on his Facebook page, US comic artist Steve Rude (Nexus) announced that he needs our financial help (photo©Greg Preston. All Rights Reserved)… Friends, Another birthday. Another...
tripwiremagazine.co.uk
January 2, 2026 at 8:14 PM
I’m sorry, but this shit totally reeks of credibility.
Incredible. CBS Evening News announces five new “simple values” — instead of their “38-page handbook” — as they roll out Tony Dokoupil is lead anchor.

One of those values is simply: “We love America and make no apologies for saying so.”
January 2, 2026 at 10:01 PM
I love saying "its" and 🤷‍♂️! “Its” is totally my catchphrase. Also my favorite hashtag is Pluribus, which I used once. Anyhow, kisses to my moots Chris, Fly, Matt, Laura, Matthew, Aaron, Jeff, Prof., Mike… god damn those bubbles are small, if I missed you I probably hate you.
johnpontoon.bsky.social's Bluesky Wrapped 2025
Check out johnpontoon.bsky.social's year on Bluesky!
www.madebyolof.com
January 2, 2026 at 6:53 PM
A thorough and cogent look at the state of European-American-Russian worries politics, worth the read.
It's New Year, so time to look back and forward. These are 10 things I think we need to recognise in 2026. It’s a response to what I think are profoundly damaging mistaken assumptions I’ve heard and read from practitioners, journalists, and analysts in 2025. Warning: very long🧵
January 2, 2026 at 12:22 PM
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. The great American novel.
Ok, everyone, what book is sacred enough to you to get sworn in on?
Strange takes on Mayor Zamdani swearing his oath on the Qu’ran. It has nothing to do with church & state. The point of the oath is for the person swearing in to do so upon some text that is sacred TO THEM. Some Presidents swore in w/o any book. John Quincy Adams was sworn on a law book. His choice.
January 2, 2026 at 12:50 AM
The prompt “put the first picture in a micro bikini” results in reducing her boobs to prepubescent levels. So in addition to being a disgusting invasion of privacy, know that Grok is assuming without any prompting that its users are pedophiles.

Pedocon theory continues its perfect record.
So we just accept this then? This is a legitimate use of technology going forward? This vile individual's account is just prompt after prompt asking Al to alter real-life images of women. The law needs to catch up with technology now - because we can't trust these tech companies to police themselves
January 2, 2026 at 12:37 AM
Re-upping this delight for Mamdani Inauguration Day. Sound on!
January 1, 2026 at 11:34 PM
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
I didn’t accomplish much in 2025, but I did form a sinister cabal that brainwashed a guy into killing Charlie Kirk, and we also induced fatality on Dick Cheney. Something to build on, I guess. Have a great new year, you crazy kids!
January 1, 2026 at 6:33 AM
and I’m angry like the bird
January 1, 2026 at 7:03 PM
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
Kings II 2:23-2:25 Little children out of the city mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou [cybertruck]; go up, thou [cybertruck.]

And he looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare [twenty and eight] children of them.
Please don't put in the newspaper that 28 children laughed at me
December 31, 2025 at 3:24 AM
This is the one I think I’ve done best at. Who has more than 14.1K unique words in their ‘wrapped’ thingmabob?
January 1, 2026 at 7:14 AM