John Pontoon, dissident rando
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johnpontoon.bsky.social
John Pontoon, dissident rando
@johnpontoon.bsky.social
I once sang, “From where I stand you look like ants / and there’s an aardvark in my pants.” It wasn’t literally true at the time.

I don't have anything to sell you... except hope! Ha ha jk.

Past talent: soundcloud.com/johnpontoon
Correct!
November 11, 2025 at 8:48 AM
hear me out, the mouse’s tail was the worse part
November 11, 2025 at 6:51 AM
Like, the movie was the best Moore adaptation by a country mile. What questions does this series answer?
November 11, 2025 at 6:47 AM
But my kink is Being Weird About It
November 11, 2025 at 6:44 AM
That is some 9-dimensional chess shit, is what that is.
November 11, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Don’t sleep on her getting around in a flying pestle. The ancient equivalent to mad combat skills was a flying pestle.
November 11, 2025 at 6:41 AM
You can make her do the Channing Tatum?!?
November 11, 2025 at 6:38 AM
Like go watch soccer ya inhuman skanks
November 11, 2025 at 6:34 AM
What do you mean “also”? Do you have some second belief that came first of which I’m unaware?
November 11, 2025 at 6:31 AM
One likes to imagine it’s an elaborate ruse that leads to Shapiro getting the ever loving shit beat out of him.
November 11, 2025 at 6:29 AM
lol what a crazy “what if” you have posited
November 11, 2025 at 6:25 AM
Brings me no joy to say that in this relationship you are the Schumer.
November 11, 2025 at 6:16 AM
That’s bizarre. Would you post a video of you doing comedy/a song/whatever where you laugh at the funny parts?

The song is funny, yeah. You can hear it without the laugh track too.
November 11, 2025 at 6:07 AM
It’s possible to hear the song without also watching the three influencers unboxing it in their reaction video. Am I crazy for caring?
November 11, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Axios is synonymous with nothing, they stink like added chopped dick.
November 10, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Babies have the most teeth, adults end up with less teeth via a process called “losing.”
November 10, 2025 at 11:13 PM
“Ha ha ha you may as well ask if *I’m* ineffective! Absurd, is it not?”
November 10, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Winnie the Pooh is slang for sex pest target now?
November 10, 2025 at 11:01 PM
What if it was a BOTTLE of Pledge? Oh ho, such hijinx!
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 PM
She’s saying “Tee hee, watch when I pinch their nose and cover their mouth!”
November 10, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Also they break when you drop them in water, but so what? There’s no water on Earth.
November 10, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Extremely rare materials like iron, nickel and cobalt. Impossible to find on Earth.
November 10, 2025 at 10:45 PM