E.D.D.I.E.z
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improbableeddie.bsky.social
E.D.D.I.E.z
@improbableeddie.bsky.social
i’d be really good as a prime minister if it wasn't for the authoritarian aggression and spineless gallantry
November 11, 2025 at 8:50 PM
you have a spot of abstain and smear
November 11, 2025 at 10:04 AM
the last messenger wore a gas mask and carried a riot shield and all he had was good news
November 10, 2025 at 11:54 AM
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Dental X-rays? You mean tooth pics?
October 9, 2025 at 8:07 PM
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Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way
October 29, 2025 at 8:36 AM
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One of my favorite moves that people do is when they’re walking away from someone they know and they’re smiling and kind of wave goodbye and also move their hand & arm down like stop you’re too funny.
November 5, 2025 at 8:41 PM
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One thing we don’t talk about Napoleon is his great sense of humor.
November 2, 2025 at 1:03 AM
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I don’t want to play any game that requires me to put skin into it.
November 4, 2025 at 5:50 PM
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*removes gag ball to make Face ID purchase
November 9, 2025 at 12:58 AM
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I eat a lot of eggs because I fucking hate chickens.
November 2, 2025 at 3:04 AM
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When you're home alone eating fried chicken in the shower and hear a noise in the house.
October 29, 2025 at 8:41 PM
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I don’t like to brag but I got hired as an apple genius even though my iq is only slightly above average
October 8, 2025 at 5:04 AM
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The sluttiest thing an english girl can say is "I'm doing jury duty".
June 29, 2025 at 8:26 PM
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They say it's always darkest before the dawn.

Have there been any medical updates on that pending dawn?
September 8, 2025 at 11:32 PM
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Ouija boards are for amateurs. If you knew you would know, it's Risk.
February 23, 2025 at 11:01 PM
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They said leave your problems at the door, I’ve been stood here for hours, I just hope they come back for me.
November 6, 2025 at 7:58 PM
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tried walking around with silver dollars over my eyes, and now things are looking much brighter
January 22, 2025 at 5:52 PM
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The smiling will continue until your morale improves
November 9, 2025 at 3:33 PM
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shadow boxing with my shadow work
November 6, 2025 at 12:17 PM
if there’s ever a shortage of muppets online there’s plenty moron tv
November 9, 2025 at 8:43 PM
internal server error is something i could worship, it’s very refreshing and i’d gladly give cache
November 8, 2025 at 11:43 PM
progress around here is a tortoise named rusty
November 8, 2025 at 3:34 PM
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I don't drive a flashy car, but the cop behind me does.
October 9, 2025 at 8:51 PM
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I cough.
My neighbor coughs.
I cough.
My neighbor then proceeds to cough up a lung.

Me: "Are you OK?"
Him: "Oh, this wasn't a contest?"
November 6, 2025 at 2:57 AM
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Sanity is not a toy but I play around with it anyway.
August 14, 2025 at 12:19 AM