DasAutoCitron
@dasautocitron.bsky.social
Pinned
Fine. They needed a new pope.
But couldn't they have chosen someone other than the guy who's using his fucking zodiac sign, like some basic Millennial white bitch.
But couldn't they have chosen someone other than the guy who's using his fucking zodiac sign, like some basic Millennial white bitch.
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
do you think that Pharrell's hat got bigger and bigger till it swallowed him up inside
May 12, 2025 at 1:43 PM
do you think that Pharrell's hat got bigger and bigger till it swallowed him up inside
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
I guess we can start calling them taroffs again.
May 12, 2025 at 1:46 PM
I guess we can start calling them taroffs again.
Are my fellow Millennials truly so uncultured, they don't know our equivalent of 'Twelve Days of Christmas' is ..
'Because I Got High'?
'Because I Got High'?
May 12, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Are my fellow Millennials truly so uncultured, they don't know our equivalent of 'Twelve Days of Christmas' is ..
'Because I Got High'?
'Because I Got High'?
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
me watching weekend at bernies: man I wish I was dead
May 12, 2025 at 1:56 PM
me watching weekend at bernies: man I wish I was dead
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
i emailed your boss screenshots of you dunking on my parasocial best friend’s absolute dogshit takes about star wars please respond
May 12, 2025 at 2:01 PM
i emailed your boss screenshots of you dunking on my parasocial best friend’s absolute dogshit takes about star wars please respond
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
i can't make room for a midlife crisis i haven't even finished my being alive crisis
May 12, 2025 at 2:02 PM
i can't make room for a midlife crisis i haven't even finished my being alive crisis
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
my god-given talent is losing items in a one bedroom apartment
May 12, 2025 at 2:03 PM
my god-given talent is losing items in a one bedroom apartment
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
thinking about that time i pulled an ab muscle trying to win a stuffed crab from a crane machine
May 12, 2025 at 2:09 PM
thinking about that time i pulled an ab muscle trying to win a stuffed crab from a crane machine
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
General strike but everybody gets completely sober. That will show em, c'mon everybody!
May 12, 2025 at 2:14 PM
General strike but everybody gets completely sober. That will show em, c'mon everybody!
Y'know something?
Trying to watch a Mehdi Hassan-interview while having the mother of all panic attacks is a shit idea.
Trying to watch a Mehdi Hassan-interview while having the mother of all panic attacks is a shit idea.
May 12, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Y'know something?
Trying to watch a Mehdi Hassan-interview while having the mother of all panic attacks is a shit idea.
Trying to watch a Mehdi Hassan-interview while having the mother of all panic attacks is a shit idea.
Fine. They needed a new pope.
But couldn't they have chosen someone other than the guy who's using his fucking zodiac sign, like some basic Millennial white bitch.
But couldn't they have chosen someone other than the guy who's using his fucking zodiac sign, like some basic Millennial white bitch.
May 9, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Fine. They needed a new pope.
But couldn't they have chosen someone other than the guy who's using his fucking zodiac sign, like some basic Millennial white bitch.
But couldn't they have chosen someone other than the guy who's using his fucking zodiac sign, like some basic Millennial white bitch.
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
I had to go on Facebook for something.
Now I hate everything.
Now I hate everything.
May 6, 2025 at 4:03 PM
I had to go on Facebook for something.
Now I hate everything.
Now I hate everything.
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
This remains one of my all-time favorite Twitter interactions.
May 6, 2025 at 7:26 AM
This remains one of my all-time favorite Twitter interactions.
A co-worker wanted me to watch The Dentist.
If the dog dies, I'm not watching that movie!
If the dog dies, I'm not watching that movie!
May 6, 2025 at 8:07 AM
A co-worker wanted me to watch The Dentist.
If the dog dies, I'm not watching that movie!
If the dog dies, I'm not watching that movie!
He knows what Rome is. Rome is the mob.
Conjure magic for them, and they're distracted. Take away their freedom, and still they roar. The beating heart of Rome is not the marble of the senate. It's the sand of the Colosseum
He'll bring them death. And they'll love him for it
Conjure magic for them, and they're distracted. Take away their freedom, and still they roar. The beating heart of Rome is not the marble of the senate. It's the sand of the Colosseum
He'll bring them death. And they'll love him for it
May 5, 2025 at 7:40 PM
He knows what Rome is. Rome is the mob.
Conjure magic for them, and they're distracted. Take away their freedom, and still they roar. The beating heart of Rome is not the marble of the senate. It's the sand of the Colosseum
He'll bring them death. And they'll love him for it
Conjure magic for them, and they're distracted. Take away their freedom, and still they roar. The beating heart of Rome is not the marble of the senate. It's the sand of the Colosseum
He'll bring them death. And they'll love him for it
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
This is what happens when you defund public media
Elmo, my man...welcome to the resistance
May 2, 2025 at 11:41 AM
This is what happens when you defund public media
Reposted by DasAutoCitron
Bought a second virginity on Temu
May 2, 2025 at 11:50 AM
Bought a second virginity on Temu
If you're driving an Audi from 2006 while wearing a backwards baseball cap, I'm going to assume that your gearshift and at least one of your seats is being held together by duct tape.
May 2, 2025 at 12:17 PM
If you're driving an Audi from 2006 while wearing a backwards baseball cap, I'm going to assume that your gearshift and at least one of your seats is being held together by duct tape.
Farrier is the single most properly masculine job where you have to wear a skirt that's somehow also assless chaps.
April 29, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Farrier is the single most properly masculine job where you have to wear a skirt that's somehow also assless chaps.