Dan Morgan
@danmorgan.bsky.social
Tech + live shouty music + lefty politics + snowboarding + cat hair + bad puns = Me
Reposted by Dan Morgan
"The cat scratched my groin when he saw that woman from Strictly"
"Claudia Winkleman?"
"No, man, but it was close"
"Claudia Winkleman?"
"No, man, but it was close"
November 15, 2025 at 6:57 PM
"The cat scratched my groin when he saw that woman from Strictly"
"Claudia Winkleman?"
"No, man, but it was close"
"Claudia Winkleman?"
"No, man, but it was close"
Reposted by Dan Morgan
Right up until my 20s I wondered why I never saw a copy of Donkey Otie in bookshops or libraries, even though it seemed to be quite well known
November 15, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Right up until my 20s I wondered why I never saw a copy of Donkey Otie in bookshops or libraries, even though it seemed to be quite well known
Reposted by Dan Morgan
"If you don't let me punch you in the face, the other guy will kick you in the nuts" doesn't seem like a sustainable political message.
November 15, 2025 at 12:39 PM
"If you don't let me punch you in the face, the other guy will kick you in the nuts" doesn't seem like a sustainable political message.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
While it may seem redundant to say “pump it up” after encouraging the listener to “pump up the jam,” the author is underscoring the urgency of pumping up said jam; leaving us to ponder the bleakness of living in a world devoid of it.
October 24, 2023 at 2:02 AM
While it may seem redundant to say “pump it up” after encouraging the listener to “pump up the jam,” the author is underscoring the urgency of pumping up said jam; leaving us to ponder the bleakness of living in a world devoid of it.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
My wife's weird, last week she said she wouldn't mind if I had a tattoo, today she's complaining about all the bagpipers in the garden.
November 13, 2025 at 8:20 PM
My wife's weird, last week she said she wouldn't mind if I had a tattoo, today she's complaining about all the bagpipers in the garden.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
The bloody neighbours have gone out and left John Cage’s 4’33 on full blast again.
November 15, 2025 at 8:36 AM
The bloody neighbours have gone out and left John Cage’s 4’33 on full blast again.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
Now im going to divide you into two groups. "Far right activists" and "Government" The second group - if youre not sure what you do, just copy the first group as best you can, and hope nobody will notice.
November 15, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Now im going to divide you into two groups. "Far right activists" and "Government" The second group - if youre not sure what you do, just copy the first group as best you can, and hope nobody will notice.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
Next a real glamour job. Which one of you wants to be in charge of of checking that the word "comedian" has inverted commas.
November 15, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Next a real glamour job. Which one of you wants to be in charge of of checking that the word "comedian" has inverted commas.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
If the UK is on the brink of civil war, as Musk claims, it follows that in 300 years time there will be be a new generation of civil war re-enactment societies.
"Geoff,you defend Laurence Fox. Can you guys shout outside a hostel. Brian, i need you to relentlessly slag off Nish Kumar on Facebook."
"Geoff,you defend Laurence Fox. Can you guys shout outside a hostel. Brian, i need you to relentlessly slag off Nish Kumar on Facebook."
November 15, 2025 at 9:12 AM
If the UK is on the brink of civil war, as Musk claims, it follows that in 300 years time there will be be a new generation of civil war re-enactment societies.
"Geoff,you defend Laurence Fox. Can you guys shout outside a hostel. Brian, i need you to relentlessly slag off Nish Kumar on Facebook."
"Geoff,you defend Laurence Fox. Can you guys shout outside a hostel. Brian, i need you to relentlessly slag off Nish Kumar on Facebook."
Reposted by Dan Morgan
But more to the point - offering asylum to people fleeing war or torture or persecution is what decent nations do. It's what defines us. Without that it's just a race to the bottom.
November 15, 2025 at 10:06 AM
But more to the point - offering asylum to people fleeing war or torture or persecution is what decent nations do. It's what defines us. Without that it's just a race to the bottom.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
Without asylum:
Marks and Spencer wouldn't exist
Queen would have been without a front man
The other queen wouldn't have had a husband
Judith Kerr would never have written The Tiger Who Came to Tea
And thousands of less famous people wouldn't have been teachers, politicians, neighbours, etc
Marks and Spencer wouldn't exist
Queen would have been without a front man
The other queen wouldn't have had a husband
Judith Kerr would never have written The Tiger Who Came to Tea
And thousands of less famous people wouldn't have been teachers, politicians, neighbours, etc
November 15, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Without asylum:
Marks and Spencer wouldn't exist
Queen would have been without a front man
The other queen wouldn't have had a husband
Judith Kerr would never have written The Tiger Who Came to Tea
And thousands of less famous people wouldn't have been teachers, politicians, neighbours, etc
Marks and Spencer wouldn't exist
Queen would have been without a front man
The other queen wouldn't have had a husband
Judith Kerr would never have written The Tiger Who Came to Tea
And thousands of less famous people wouldn't have been teachers, politicians, neighbours, etc
Reposted by Dan Morgan
The difference in time between now and I can has cheezburger
Is the same between I can has Cheezburger and the Berlin Wall falling
Is the same between I can has Cheezburger and the Berlin Wall falling
November 10, 2025 at 5:46 PM
The difference in time between now and I can has cheezburger
Is the same between I can has Cheezburger and the Berlin Wall falling
Is the same between I can has Cheezburger and the Berlin Wall falling
Reposted by Dan Morgan
We had to stop watching The Twits because the bit where the idiots believe the obvious lies of the obvious liars cuts too close to the bone in Brexit Britain.
November 14, 2025 at 1:20 PM
We had to stop watching The Twits because the bit where the idiots believe the obvious lies of the obvious liars cuts too close to the bone in Brexit Britain.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
Dear apologists, the answer to the question “is trafficking a 15 year old for sex really all that bad?” is yes. I hope that clears that up for you.
November 14, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Dear apologists, the answer to the question “is trafficking a 15 year old for sex really all that bad?” is yes. I hope that clears that up for you.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
I hate that AI has made me approach cute animal videos with an air of suspicion. I resent having to harden my heart to the possibility of an unlikely friendship between a very large dog and a very small one
November 14, 2025 at 2:01 PM
I hate that AI has made me approach cute animal videos with an air of suspicion. I resent having to harden my heart to the possibility of an unlikely friendship between a very large dog and a very small one
Reposted by Dan Morgan
Reposted by Dan Morgan
Ultimately, politics is about making hard choices and leading.
Sure, easy for me to say, but you won’t get there by focusing only on just the one selective bit of public opinion you fear today.
Sure, easy for me to say, but you won’t get there by focusing only on just the one selective bit of public opinion you fear today.
November 14, 2025 at 8:57 AM
Ultimately, politics is about making hard choices and leading.
Sure, easy for me to say, but you won’t get there by focusing only on just the one selective bit of public opinion you fear today.
Sure, easy for me to say, but you won’t get there by focusing only on just the one selective bit of public opinion you fear today.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
![[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.]
JANET:
Ugh...
LIZ:
What's up?
JANET:
I am so bored of cooking peas!
LIZ:
Have you tried...
AI peas?
JANET:
AI peas?
LIZ:
They're peas with AI!
[Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI].
LIZ:
Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas
JANET:
What
LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines]
Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas?
[Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it]
LIZ:
Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine
[Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas]
LIZ:
With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas!
JANET:
What
LIZ:
Shut up
LIZ:
Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow
From opening the bag of peas
to boiling the peas
to eating the peas
To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means.
JANET:
Is it really necessary to-
LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]:
THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET
[Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan:
AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayqa37f7kik7l7s7fbtfp2sir5ckb662ry2lylinyjrfa2rkvvka@jpeg)
Reposted by Dan Morgan
"This could take down Democrats, too."
I know. And I frankly wouldn't give even an itty bitty damn if it implicated every Democratic man in Congress, every Democratic hopeful for 2028 and every Democrat who has even thought about running for office.
Down with the sex predators, wherever they are.
I know. And I frankly wouldn't give even an itty bitty damn if it implicated every Democratic man in Congress, every Democratic hopeful for 2028 and every Democrat who has even thought about running for office.
Down with the sex predators, wherever they are.
November 13, 2025 at 1:15 AM
"This could take down Democrats, too."
I know. And I frankly wouldn't give even an itty bitty damn if it implicated every Democratic man in Congress, every Democratic hopeful for 2028 and every Democrat who has even thought about running for office.
Down with the sex predators, wherever they are.
I know. And I frankly wouldn't give even an itty bitty damn if it implicated every Democratic man in Congress, every Democratic hopeful for 2028 and every Democrat who has even thought about running for office.
Down with the sex predators, wherever they are.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.
November 13, 2025 at 1:37 AM
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
The irony that the man they alighted on to save people from the giant elite paedophile conspiracy...
... was a man who appears to have been at the heart of the giant, elite paedophile conspiracy.
Truely the most nuts but weirdly correct cult
... was a man who appears to have been at the heart of the giant, elite paedophile conspiracy.
Truely the most nuts but weirdly correct cult
pretty funny in retrospect that QAnon hinged on the idea that powerful elites at the highest levels of government were smart enough to talk in code when sending emails to each other about their despicable crimes
November 12, 2025 at 10:50 PM
The irony that the man they alighted on to save people from the giant elite paedophile conspiracy...
... was a man who appears to have been at the heart of the giant, elite paedophile conspiracy.
Truely the most nuts but weirdly correct cult
... was a man who appears to have been at the heart of the giant, elite paedophile conspiracy.
Truely the most nuts but weirdly correct cult
Reposted by Dan Morgan
QANON CULTIST IN 2017: "In this 1,879 page thread I will unravel the byzantine system of codewords and phrases the global elite use to mask their pedophile cabal."
JEFFREY EPSTEIN WRITING AN EMAIL AT THE SAME TIME: "helo its me jeff had fun cmmitting sex crimes wit u lst weeknd"
JEFFREY EPSTEIN WRITING AN EMAIL AT THE SAME TIME: "helo its me jeff had fun cmmitting sex crimes wit u lst weeknd"
pretty funny in retrospect that QAnon hinged on the idea that powerful elites at the highest levels of government were smart enough to talk in code when sending emails to each other about their despicable crimes
November 12, 2025 at 10:15 PM
QANON CULTIST IN 2017: "In this 1,879 page thread I will unravel the byzantine system of codewords and phrases the global elite use to mask their pedophile cabal."
JEFFREY EPSTEIN WRITING AN EMAIL AT THE SAME TIME: "helo its me jeff had fun cmmitting sex crimes wit u lst weeknd"
JEFFREY EPSTEIN WRITING AN EMAIL AT THE SAME TIME: "helo its me jeff had fun cmmitting sex crimes wit u lst weeknd"
Reposted by Dan Morgan
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
November 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Reposted by Dan Morgan
With no period given for early release.
November 12, 2025 at 7:44 PM
With no period given for early release.
Reposted by Dan Morgan
A man has been found guilty of writing a stream of consciousness novel. He is about to start a 4 year sentence.
November 12, 2025 at 7:37 PM
A man has been found guilty of writing a stream of consciousness novel. He is about to start a 4 year sentence.