Craig Schaefer
@craigschaeferbooks.com
Writes books, mostly about magic and outlaws. Making my nest in Providence. My latest, Firebreak, is available now. (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FCSJWJTR)
Sometimes I get really dumb ideas, and then I have to put those dumb ideas down on paper. This short is a prequel to the upcoming next Daniel Faust novel...and also the goofiest thing I've written since Hex the Moon.
www.patreon.com/posts/146660...
www.patreon.com/posts/146660...
Merry Christmas, Mari Lwyd | Craig Schaefer
Get more from Craig Schaefer on Patreon
www.patreon.com
December 25, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Sometimes I get really dumb ideas, and then I have to put those dumb ideas down on paper. This short is a prequel to the upcoming next Daniel Faust novel...and also the goofiest thing I've written since Hex the Moon.
www.patreon.com/posts/146660...
www.patreon.com/posts/146660...
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
Colonel: Snake, this is Yule Tideman. He'll be helping on this mission
YT: You're carrying the Synapse Augmenting Nano Tech Armament, or SANTA
Snake: SANTA?
YT: That's right. SANTA will provide PRESENTS or COAL, depending on your GOODNESS meter.
Snake: Goodness. Hmmn.
YT: You're carrying the Synapse Augmenting Nano Tech Armament, or SANTA
Snake: SANTA?
YT: That's right. SANTA will provide PRESENTS or COAL, depending on your GOODNESS meter.
Snake: Goodness. Hmmn.
December 25, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Colonel: Snake, this is Yule Tideman. He'll be helping on this mission
YT: You're carrying the Synapse Augmenting Nano Tech Armament, or SANTA
Snake: SANTA?
YT: That's right. SANTA will provide PRESENTS or COAL, depending on your GOODNESS meter.
Snake: Goodness. Hmmn.
YT: You're carrying the Synapse Augmenting Nano Tech Armament, or SANTA
Snake: SANTA?
YT: That's right. SANTA will provide PRESENTS or COAL, depending on your GOODNESS meter.
Snake: Goodness. Hmmn.
It's Christmas morning and I am writing a very dumb short story. It might actually be too dumb for human consumption, but we'll see.
December 25, 2025 at 3:05 PM
It's Christmas morning and I am writing a very dumb short story. It might actually be too dumb for human consumption, but we'll see.
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
Also: NO PUTTING KNIVES LOOSE IN THE SINK, especially a sink full of soapy water.
You *will* find them in the worst possible way.
You *will* find them in the worst possible way.
As many of us begin Christmas meal prep, allow me to share the advice that my ER nurse sister puts in the chat every year:
A dropped knife has no handle. Jump away. Let it fall. You can pick it up and wash it.
A dropped knife has no handle. Jump away. Let it fall. You can pick it up and wash it.
December 25, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Also: NO PUTTING KNIVES LOOSE IN THE SINK, especially a sink full of soapy water.
You *will* find them in the worst possible way.
You *will* find them in the worst possible way.
"It appears that Tiny Tim did NOT die. Agent 47, your next mission is quite simple..."
December 24, 2025 at 10:06 PM
"It appears that Tiny Tim did NOT die. Agent 47, your next mission is quite simple..."
Went to get myself a nice bottle of absinthe for the holiday, came home only to find the Mari Lwyd leaning against my door and smoking a cigarette. Which was pretty weird, given the whole "skeletal horse" thing but whatever. She asked me, "Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?"
December 24, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Went to get myself a nice bottle of absinthe for the holiday, came home only to find the Mari Lwyd leaning against my door and smoking a cigarette. Which was pretty weird, given the whole "skeletal horse" thing but whatever. She asked me, "Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?"
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
As we rejoice in community this Christmas Eve, I encourage our neighbors to read this powerful piece by local reporter and author, Phil Eil.
In Providence, we don’t scapegoat our communities.
www.ms.now/opinion/trum...
In Providence, we don’t scapegoat our communities.
www.ms.now/opinion/trum...
Opinion | The Trump administration is using the Brown University shootings to further its anti-immigrant agenda
Philip Eil: Using the tragedy in Providence to demonize immigrants doesn't help us heal
www.ms.now
December 24, 2025 at 2:51 PM
As we rejoice in community this Christmas Eve, I encourage our neighbors to read this powerful piece by local reporter and author, Phil Eil.
In Providence, we don’t scapegoat our communities.
www.ms.now/opinion/trum...
In Providence, we don’t scapegoat our communities.
www.ms.now/opinion/trum...
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
The act of writing is *thinking*. If you do not allow yourself to think thoughts that feel wrong, you will never get a feel for what feels *right*.
December 24, 2025 at 4:01 AM
The act of writing is *thinking*. If you do not allow yourself to think thoughts that feel wrong, you will never get a feel for what feels *right*.
This is a thing I've wrestled with in my own books. Which made me transition from "The Network is an unstoppable force of evil" to "Why the fuck would you EVER work for these pathetic dorks, they fucking suck and lie constantly to their own people, promising shit they'll never deliver."
Honestly, it *is* kinda weird how even though I mentally, intellectually understood that the real nazis were ridiculous losers, it *still* surprised me to see the goofiness and banality of the modern ones, because that Dapper Classy Genius Nazi Villain archetype was SO engrained. Likewise, it is a…
all the WWII media up until like 2000 at least always portrayed Nazis as very evil but also extremely smart, meticulous, careful, put together, etc and it really did a number on my conception of nazis even though I've known that wasn't real for like a quarter century already
December 23, 2025 at 11:44 PM
This is a thing I've wrestled with in my own books. Which made me transition from "The Network is an unstoppable force of evil" to "Why the fuck would you EVER work for these pathetic dorks, they fucking suck and lie constantly to their own people, promising shit they'll never deliver."
"Babe, I want you to promise me that you'll never do coke, because you would like it WAY too much and it'll turn you into more of an asshole than you already are." -- my first girlfriend
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 23, 2025 at 11:27 PM
"Babe, I want you to promise me that you'll never do coke, because you would like it WAY too much and it'll turn you into more of an asshole than you already are." -- my first girlfriend
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing a text, writing an email, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing since the dawn of time.
December 23, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing a text, writing an email, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing since the dawn of time.
NPCs who insist you follow them, but they walk faster than your walking speed but slower than your running speed. GODDAMNIT DEVS, THIS ISN'T HARD.
LET US BEGIN THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES. HAPPY FESTIVUS TO ALL!
two men standing in front of an american video store
ALT: two men standing in front of an american video store
media.tenor.com
December 23, 2025 at 5:35 PM
NPCs who insist you follow them, but they walk faster than your walking speed but slower than your running speed. GODDAMNIT DEVS, THIS ISN'T HARD.
Okay, so it's Taco Tuesday and I'm trying something new (to me), making taco meat in a slow cooker. I have no idea if this will work out, but my studio apartment smells amazing.
December 23, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Okay, so it's Taco Tuesday and I'm trying something new (to me), making taco meat in a slow cooker. I have no idea if this will work out, but my studio apartment smells amazing.
Which is delightful to me because Survivor's Rocky montage song, Burning Heart, is a staple of the Castaways soundtrack (though it'll mostly be relevant in book four)
With Rocky IV watched, it's time to head out for a walk so that I can finish the audiobook of @craigschaeferbooks.com's Firebreak
December 22, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Which is delightful to me because Survivor's Rocky montage song, Burning Heart, is a staple of the Castaways soundtrack (though it'll mostly be relevant in book four)
Watching this unfold while my publisher decides on a release date for the first Neon Meridian novel and I'm like "...this is literally what the book is about, plz put it out now okay?"
the shitstorm that’s already brewing because of Bari’s decision to spike this story is going to end up being vastly more damaging to her and to the admin than allowing the story to air would have been
she’s an evil propagandist hack but she is also very bad at doing it in a way that isn’t hamfisted
she’s an evil propagandist hack but she is also very bad at doing it in a way that isn’t hamfisted
December 22, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Watching this unfold while my publisher decides on a release date for the first Neon Meridian novel and I'm like "...this is literally what the book is about, plz put it out now okay?"
Okay, so gonna admit to the nerdiest-ass business because this is important to me. It's public knowledge that I fight with clinical depression. Just gotta deal with it, whatever. For years, My Little Pony has been a refuge for me. Again, whatever.
December 22, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Okay, so gonna admit to the nerdiest-ass business because this is important to me. It's public knowledge that I fight with clinical depression. Just gotta deal with it, whatever. For years, My Little Pony has been a refuge for me. Again, whatever.
"Well you don't REALLY understand AI, you're obviously lying about having studied LLMs because if you really did, you'd embrace-" aaand blocked.
All you had to do, to win me over, was explain what "You'll be left behind" means in practical terms. And you couldn't even try.
All you had to do, to win me over, was explain what "You'll be left behind" means in practical terms. And you couldn't even try.
December 21, 2025 at 10:25 PM
"Well you don't REALLY understand AI, you're obviously lying about having studied LLMs because if you really did, you'd embrace-" aaand blocked.
All you had to do, to win me over, was explain what "You'll be left behind" means in practical terms. And you couldn't even try.
All you had to do, to win me over, was explain what "You'll be left behind" means in practical terms. And you couldn't even try.
My standard response is "tell me, in specific detail, how exactly I'll be 'left behind,'" and to date not a single techbro has ever answered the question. "You'll be left behind" is a statement of religious faith, not business fact, and should be treated as such.
So the “figure out how to use it lest you be left behind” replies about ‘AI’ that have been popping up here strike me as inauthentic but also kind of funny because they grant the point that rather than an automation panacea these technologies are quite difficult to figure out how to use effectively
December 21, 2025 at 5:11 PM
My standard response is "tell me, in specific detail, how exactly I'll be 'left behind,'" and to date not a single techbro has ever answered the question. "You'll be left behind" is a statement of religious faith, not business fact, and should be treated as such.
They say winners don't do drugs, but I've compared my gaming win/loss ratio while sober vs. playing on edibles, and I believe I have found receipts to the contrary
December 20, 2025 at 5:29 PM
They say winners don't do drugs, but I've compared my gaming win/loss ratio while sober vs. playing on edibles, and I believe I have found receipts to the contrary
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
Guess I'll post this again
December 18, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Guess I'll post this again
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
December 18, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Got a flyer under my door with the FBI's tip line number. Here's a tip: maybe don't put incompetent buffoons in charge of the FBI.
December 18, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Got a flyer under my door with the FBI's tip line number. Here's a tip: maybe don't put incompetent buffoons in charge of the FBI.
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
ICYMI: yesterday, I wrote an op-ed for the @thepvdeye.bsky.social that tried to capture how these last few days in Providence -- my beloved hometown -- have felt.
I also invited other PVD folks to share their own thoughts: voices@pvdeye.org.
I also invited other PVD folks to share their own thoughts: voices@pvdeye.org.
Grappling With A Mass Shooting on College Hill: “These are Dark Days for Providence.” - The Providence Eye
One of my goals as The Eye’s opinion editor is to help readers make sense of the city. But, this week, after a mass shooting at Brown University left two students dead and nine injured, that feels imp...
pvdeye.org
December 18, 2025 at 12:58 PM
ICYMI: yesterday, I wrote an op-ed for the @thepvdeye.bsky.social that tried to capture how these last few days in Providence -- my beloved hometown -- have felt.
I also invited other PVD folks to share their own thoughts: voices@pvdeye.org.
I also invited other PVD folks to share their own thoughts: voices@pvdeye.org.
Reposted by Craig Schaefer
Staple Street Skybridge, Tribeca, NYC
📷Joe Pollarine
📷Joe Pollarine
December 17, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Staple Street Skybridge, Tribeca, NYC
📷Joe Pollarine
📷Joe Pollarine