Crab Photographer
@crabphotographer.bsky.social
Crab photographer. Podcast network entrepreneur. Host of the Deuces Podcast.
Beware Tyler Herro, for he is the Devil’s pawn. Alone among God’s primates, he kills offensive flow. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother’s buckets. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; for he is the harbinger of death.
November 25, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Beware Tyler Herro, for he is the Devil’s pawn. Alone among God’s primates, he kills offensive flow. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother’s buckets. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; for he is the harbinger of death.
The opposite of what I would picture a Chase Jeter to look like
November 24, 2025 at 9:01 PM
The opposite of what I would picture a Chase Jeter to look like
Reposted by Crab Photographer
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
maybe i am going insane
"Manos" The Hands of Fate is a haptic classic. Send post.
November 24, 2025 at 8:32 PM
"Manos" The Hands of Fate is a haptic classic. Send post.
I simply wouldn't make a video essay about films today in the broad sense without acknowledging how many older films were shot entirely on studio or were in fact simply content filling space on a double bill. Hell, people were asking for movies to be made based on pre-made posters.
November 24, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I simply wouldn't make a video essay about films today in the broad sense without acknowledging how many older films were shot entirely on studio or were in fact simply content filling space on a double bill. Hell, people were asking for movies to be made based on pre-made posters.
Optic. Haptic. Haptic. Optic. Oprah. Uma. Uma. Oprah.
November 24, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Optic. Haptic. Haptic. Optic. Oprah. Uma. Uma. Oprah.
For context, heading into tonight's cataclysm...
November 24, 2025 at 6:01 PM
For context, heading into tonight's cataclysm...
Today is the worst day ever. Tyler Herro is back to turn the Miami Heat into a team worse than the Washington Wizards. Heat fans, get ready to learn cyanide pills.
November 24, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Today is the worst day ever. Tyler Herro is back to turn the Miami Heat into a team worse than the Washington Wizards. Heat fans, get ready to learn cyanide pills.
Reposted by Crab Photographer
I asked my doctor about this and got a long talk about how the character was “not canon”
“Ask your doctor about Opdivo Qvantig” Okay but I’m worried she’ll think I’m having a stroke
November 24, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I asked my doctor about this and got a long talk about how the character was “not canon”
Reposted by Crab Photographer
lol, lmao, bluesky’s active user base just crashed by 60% because those users are all dead to rights
The Only Children of White Collar Professional Parents In The 1990s website is uniquely badly-positioned to have good memories or holiday food
November 24, 2025 at 2:11 AM
lol, lmao, bluesky’s active user base just crashed by 60% because those users are all dead to rights
Reposted by Crab Photographer
Reposted by Crab Photographer
something i'll note is that if nuzzi ran catch-and-kill ops for rfk jr and lizza knew this prior to him being appointed as HHS, and instead of telling anyone, he decided to save it for his substack long after rfk jr had made communicable disease into federal policy, that's completely fucked
November 22, 2025 at 6:33 PM
something i'll note is that if nuzzi ran catch-and-kill ops for rfk jr and lizza knew this prior to him being appointed as HHS, and instead of telling anyone, he decided to save it for his substack long after rfk jr had made communicable disease into federal policy, that's completely fucked
Tyler Herro: starting small forward. Book it.
November 22, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Tyler Herro: starting small forward. Book it.
Reposted by Crab Photographer
Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest
Drink from me, Love
I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth
I’ll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow
‘Dont spill a drop’
i am a river
You are my canyon
I mean to flow through you
I mean to subdue and tame you.
My Love
Drink from me, Love
I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth
I’ll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow
‘Dont spill a drop’
i am a river
You are my canyon
I mean to flow through you
I mean to subdue and tame you.
My Love
November 22, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest
Drink from me, Love
I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth
I’ll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow
‘Dont spill a drop’
i am a river
You are my canyon
I mean to flow through you
I mean to subdue and tame you.
My Love
Drink from me, Love
I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth
I’ll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow
‘Dont spill a drop’
i am a river
You are my canyon
I mean to flow through you
I mean to subdue and tame you.
My Love
Reposted by Crab Photographer
I suspect we are, probably for our own mental health, underestimating the degree to which the Trump administration is dominated by the worst swingers imaginable
Call me old fashioned, but aren’t both parts of this relationship currently, uh, married to other people?
So many crazy details in Ben Terris's story about Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski, who we can confirm are not only dating but running DHS together: nymag.com/intelligence...
September 23, 2025 at 2:54 AM
I suspect we are, probably for our own mental health, underestimating the degree to which the Trump administration is dominated by the worst swingers imaginable
Reposted by Crab Photographer
<voice of 4th grade classroom pencil sharpener>
"I have crossed oceans of time to felch you."
"I have crossed oceans of time to felch you."
honestly with how much these two deserve each other it's kind of beautiful they found each other if only for a little bit 😍
November 22, 2025 at 7:03 AM
<voice of 4th grade classroom pencil sharpener>
"I have crossed oceans of time to felch you."
"I have crossed oceans of time to felch you."
Reposted by Crab Photographer
every single fucking thing about this is awful, nuzzi is a disaster, RFK, jr is a manipulative monster, lizza is an awful person for monetizing this, every one of these people deserves to get thrown in front of a fucking truck
November 22, 2025 at 6:32 AM
every single fucking thing about this is awful, nuzzi is a disaster, RFK, jr is a manipulative monster, lizza is an awful person for monetizing this, every one of these people deserves to get thrown in front of a fucking truck
Reposted by Crab Photographer
why did i log back in. WHY DID I LOG BACK IN. www.telos.news/p/part-2-she...
November 22, 2025 at 5:47 AM
why did i log back in. WHY DID I LOG BACK IN. www.telos.news/p/part-2-she...
Reposted by Crab Photographer
love notes from the current secretary of health and human services, written to a reporter who was covering his presidential campaign and in an undisclosed romantic relationship with him, just to be clear about how awful this is on every fucking level.
wtf did I just read?
November 22, 2025 at 7:35 AM
love notes from the current secretary of health and human services, written to a reporter who was covering his presidential campaign and in an undisclosed romantic relationship with him, just to be clear about how awful this is on every fucking level.
Reposted by Crab Photographer
YOU WANT TO BE ONLINE? ENDURE.
November 22, 2025 at 6:44 AM
YOU WANT TO BE ONLINE? ENDURE.
Reposted by Crab Photographer
Reposted by Crab Photographer
Jaime Jaquez Jr. isn't just having a breakout season, he's playing one of the most unique styles in the league.
And there's really only one other player who fits the same profile. Can you figure it out?
After The Buzzer: youtu.be/mpF2wxY1aoc?...
And there's really only one other player who fits the same profile. Can you figure it out?
After The Buzzer: youtu.be/mpF2wxY1aoc?...
This Is Why Jaime Jaquez Jr. Can Be The NBA #6MOY ☝️
YouTube video by Miami HEAT
youtu.be
November 21, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Jaime Jaquez Jr. isn't just having a breakout season, he's playing one of the most unique styles in the league.
And there's really only one other player who fits the same profile. Can you figure it out?
After The Buzzer: youtu.be/mpF2wxY1aoc?...
And there's really only one other player who fits the same profile. Can you figure it out?
After The Buzzer: youtu.be/mpF2wxY1aoc?...
Reposted by Crab Photographer
Heat still without NBA clarity regarding whether they can include Rozier's salary in a trade. www.sun-sentinel.com/2025/11/21/h... The NBA declined to say whether the Heat are banned from including Rozier’s salary in a trade, with the Heat yet to receive any clarity from the NBA.
Heat still without NBA clarity regarding whether they can include Rozier’s salary in a trade
Four weeks after Terry Rozier was indicted on federal gambling charges an aspect of his NBA status remains unsettled when it comes to his place on the Miami Heat’s salary cap.
www.sun-sentinel.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Heat still without NBA clarity regarding whether they can include Rozier's salary in a trade. www.sun-sentinel.com/2025/11/21/h... The NBA declined to say whether the Heat are banned from including Rozier’s salary in a trade, with the Heat yet to receive any clarity from the NBA.
DAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN. LaMelo Ball. Miami drivers. Collision course.
November 20, 2025 at 10:08 PM
DAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN. LaMelo Ball. Miami drivers. Collision course.