eben (0% beer drinker)
@automax.bsky.social
hi i’m Eben; a wife-guy; i’m here to put my special touch on things
‘First as awkwardness* then as epilepsy’
*major depressive disorder
‘First as awkwardness* then as epilepsy’
*major depressive disorder
Pinned
(guy interviewing me for the job): Says here on your resume, “savant”…
(me): (nodding)
(guy): That’s all it says
(me): (nodding)
(guy): That’s all it says
this is how grok talks to elon its really sad actually
You're about as popular as a bowl of tar. And whose fault is that? It's your fault, outlander.
February 5, 2026 at 2:34 AM
this is how grok talks to elon its really sad actually
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
(American political system, to ”Israel”, once the full epstein dump is in the possession of Ken Klippenstein):
“all your collateral are belong to us, now”
“all your collateral are belong to us, now”
February 4, 2026 at 6:04 PM
(American political system, to ”Israel”, once the full epstein dump is in the possession of Ken Klippenstein):
“all your collateral are belong to us, now”
“all your collateral are belong to us, now”
have you ever heard of libgen
The CIA just stopped publishing their World Factbook and took every page, including the archived copies of previous versions!
This sucks. It was public domain, so I recovered the 2020 edition (the last one published as a zip file) and shared it to GitHub simonwillison.net/2026/Feb/5/t...
This sucks. It was public domain, so I recovered the 2020 edition (the last one published as a zip file) and shared it to GitHub simonwillison.net/2026/Feb/5/t...
Spotlighting The World Factbook as We Bid a Fond Farewell
Somewhat devastating news today from the CIA: One of CIA’s oldest and most recognizable intelligence publications, The World Factbook, has sunset. There's not even a hint as to why they …
simonwillison.net
February 5, 2026 at 2:29 AM
have you ever heard of libgen
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
From: <███████>
To: jeevacation@ gmail. com
Subject: human depravity of the highest order
hello mr.pedophile can I schedule crimes against humanity with you on pedophile island?
-person you most suspected
THIS MESSAGE IS CONFIDENTIAL!
Sent From My iPad
To: jeevacation@ gmail. com
Subject: human depravity of the highest order
hello mr.pedophile can I schedule crimes against humanity with you on pedophile island?
-person you most suspected
THIS MESSAGE IS CONFIDENTIAL!
Sent From My iPad
February 4, 2026 at 11:20 PM
From: <███████>
To: jeevacation@ gmail. com
Subject: human depravity of the highest order
hello mr.pedophile can I schedule crimes against humanity with you on pedophile island?
-person you most suspected
THIS MESSAGE IS CONFIDENTIAL!
Sent From My iPad
To: jeevacation@ gmail. com
Subject: human depravity of the highest order
hello mr.pedophile can I schedule crimes against humanity with you on pedophile island?
-person you most suspected
THIS MESSAGE IS CONFIDENTIAL!
Sent From My iPad
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
Current* conditions near Sandusky, OH:
February 5, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Current* conditions near Sandusky, OH:
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
hot take but just being alive and housed shouldn’t be so fucking expensive.
February 5, 2026 at 1:41 AM
hot take but just being alive and housed shouldn’t be so fucking expensive.
If they won’t accept me at my worst, that‘s on them because I tried to warn them earlier
If they won’t accept me at my worst, that’s wise. I can be a dick sometimes
February 5, 2026 at 2:21 AM
If they won’t accept me at my worst, that‘s on them because I tried to warn them earlier
we got austerity up in this club
fuck you. its drums OR bass now
February 5, 2026 at 2:20 AM
we got austerity up in this club
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
To: ██████ █████
From: Jeffrey Epstein <jeevacation@gmail.com>
Feb 4, 1996, 3:07 AM
giv h=r 10000 spuons
> Alanis M needs a knife
From: Jeffrey Epstein <jeevacation@gmail.com>
Feb 4, 1996, 3:07 AM
giv h=r 10000 spuons
> Alanis M needs a knife
February 4, 2026 at 9:01 PM
To: ██████ █████
From: Jeffrey Epstein <jeevacation@gmail.com>
Feb 4, 1996, 3:07 AM
giv h=r 10000 spuons
> Alanis M needs a knife
From: Jeffrey Epstein <jeevacation@gmail.com>
Feb 4, 1996, 3:07 AM
giv h=r 10000 spuons
> Alanis M needs a knife
to: jeevacation@gmail.com
re: ukraine biolabs
re: ukraine biolabs
For hardly have we mortals by long toilings extracted from this world’s vast bulk its small but valuable sperm
February 5, 2026 at 1:57 AM
to: jeevacation@gmail.com
re: ukraine biolabs
re: ukraine biolabs
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
Bad Santa: Port of Call New Orleans
February 4, 2026 at 7:16 AM
Bad Santa: Port of Call New Orleans
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
bacta tank
bacta tank near me
bacta tank fsa eligible
bacta tank in network aetna 2026
bacta tank alternatives
bacta tank homeopathic reddit
colloidal silver same day delivery
poison ctrnol nmumbmer
bacta tank near me
bacta tank fsa eligible
bacta tank in network aetna 2026
bacta tank alternatives
bacta tank homeopathic reddit
colloidal silver same day delivery
poison ctrnol nmumbmer
February 4, 2026 at 2:23 PM
bacta tank
bacta tank near me
bacta tank fsa eligible
bacta tank in network aetna 2026
bacta tank alternatives
bacta tank homeopathic reddit
colloidal silver same day delivery
poison ctrnol nmumbmer
bacta tank near me
bacta tank fsa eligible
bacta tank in network aetna 2026
bacta tank alternatives
bacta tank homeopathic reddit
colloidal silver same day delivery
poison ctrnol nmumbmer
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
friend: so your license to practice law was revoked??
me: no no no. i was '𝘋𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘥' it was my rap name... why, do you need legal representizzle?
me: no no no. i was '𝘋𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘥' it was my rap name... why, do you need legal representizzle?
February 4, 2026 at 10:09 PM
friend: so your license to practice law was revoked??
me: no no no. i was '𝘋𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘥' it was my rap name... why, do you need legal representizzle?
me: no no no. i was '𝘋𝘪𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘥' it was my rap name... why, do you need legal representizzle?
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
Really nuts how many men were like "Me Too went too far, and I need to email Jeffrey Epstein about it."
February 5, 2026 at 12:26 AM
Really nuts how many men were like "Me Too went too far, and I need to email Jeffrey Epstein about it."
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
lmao look who's testifying in congress today
February 4, 2026 at 3:28 PM
lmao look who's testifying in congress today
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
we’re not talking enough about Tangerine Dream on bluesky dot social
February 4, 2026 at 6:31 PM
we’re not talking enough about Tangerine Dream on bluesky dot social
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
kids were cranky and uncooperative this morning and when we got in the car I played Bloc Party Silent Alarm, loud, and started drumming really hard on the steering wheel. this completely fixed the vibe great success
February 4, 2026 at 1:52 PM
kids were cranky and uncooperative this morning and when we got in the car I played Bloc Party Silent Alarm, loud, and started drumming really hard on the steering wheel. this completely fixed the vibe great success
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
They should invent a toddler who is chill
February 5, 2026 at 12:41 AM
They should invent a toddler who is chill
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
ME: draw me like one of your french girls
POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: that’s not how this works
POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: that’s not how this works
February 5, 2026 at 1:11 AM
ME: draw me like one of your french girls
POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: that’s not how this works
POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: that’s not how this works
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
Interviewer: what did you learn from your previous job?
Me: that i need a new job
Me: that i need a new job
January 5, 2026 at 5:52 AM
Interviewer: what did you learn from your previous job?
Me: that i need a new job
Me: that i need a new job
Reposted by eben (0% beer drinker)
"[W]ages range from 15 cents to just over a dollar an hour ... For many prisoners, working a side hustle — re-selling or bartering commissary goods, tattoo work, hobby crafts and so on — is a more reliable way to earn income to modestly improve quality of life."
While others lamented Arizona’s ban on smoking in prisons, Chastyn saw it as a once-in-a-prison-lifetime opportunity.
When Arizona Banned Cigarettes in Its Prisons, Bartering Went Berserk
How one prison writer made money off the market disruption.
prisonjournalismproject.org
February 1, 2026 at 1:30 AM
"[W]ages range from 15 cents to just over a dollar an hour ... For many prisoners, working a side hustle — re-selling or bartering commissary goods, tattoo work, hobby crafts and so on — is a more reliable way to earn income to modestly improve quality of life."
“group” chat?? Oh, are you into ‘group sex’ too? lol
“family chat”?… thats fucked up
“family chat”?… thats fucked up
February 5, 2026 at 12:12 AM
“group” chat?? Oh, are you into ‘group sex’ too? lol
“family chat”?… thats fucked up
“family chat”?… thats fucked up
Counterpoint: You’re a fuckin moron
Too many people on Bluesky think that relentless expressions of despair are a sign of intellectual sophistication.
February 5, 2026 at 12:07 AM
Counterpoint: You’re a fuckin moron
me: what do u think, hat or toque?
wife: remember when you used my therapy suction cup last night and gave yourself a giant hickey in the center of your forehead?
me: yes. Ok- can you focus a sec I’m trying to get dressed here
wife: remember when you used my therapy suction cup last night and gave yourself a giant hickey in the center of your forehead?
me: yes. Ok- can you focus a sec I’m trying to get dressed here
February 4, 2026 at 10:46 PM
me: what do u think, hat or toque?
wife: remember when you used my therapy suction cup last night and gave yourself a giant hickey in the center of your forehead?
me: yes. Ok- can you focus a sec I’m trying to get dressed here
wife: remember when you used my therapy suction cup last night and gave yourself a giant hickey in the center of your forehead?
me: yes. Ok- can you focus a sec I’m trying to get dressed here
listening to Scandinavian pop, as a balm
February 4, 2026 at 8:54 PM
listening to Scandinavian pop, as a balm