THE Burger King
@aburgeraday.bsky.social
Semi-talented mimic. That cargo space guy.
Pinned
THE Burger King
@aburgeraday.bsky.social
· Nov 24
Reposted by THE Burger King
how much does it cost to have godzilla stomp on you does anyone know
December 29, 2025 at 12:48 AM
how much does it cost to have godzilla stomp on you does anyone know
Reposted by THE Burger King
OCCAM'S RAZOR: Simpler solutions are more likely to be correct than complex ones.
OCCAM'S LAZER: pew pew
OCCAM'S LAZER: pew pew
October 1, 2024 at 1:21 AM
OCCAM'S RAZOR: Simpler solutions are more likely to be correct than complex ones.
OCCAM'S LAZER: pew pew
OCCAM'S LAZER: pew pew
Reposted by THE Burger King
how many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?
December 28, 2025 at 12:49 AM
how many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?
Reposted by THE Burger King
what's a matter babe you hardly touched your clud sandwich
December 27, 2025 at 6:37 PM
what's a matter babe you hardly touched your clud sandwich
Reposted by THE Burger King
thinking about setting the roomba free for the holidays, just opening the door and letting it go (in case its new years resolution is to kill)
December 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
thinking about setting the roomba free for the holidays, just opening the door and letting it go (in case its new years resolution is to kill)
Reposted by THE Burger King
Wife: What's with all these colanders?
Me: For our strainer things party.
Wife: I said stranger.
Me: 20 different colanders aren't strange enough?
Me: For our strainer things party.
Wife: I said stranger.
Me: 20 different colanders aren't strange enough?
October 31, 2024 at 1:00 PM
Wife: What's with all these colanders?
Me: For our strainer things party.
Wife: I said stranger.
Me: 20 different colanders aren't strange enough?
Me: For our strainer things party.
Wife: I said stranger.
Me: 20 different colanders aren't strange enough?
Reposted by THE Burger King
now for the traditional eating of the christmas tree
December 25, 2025 at 4:01 PM
now for the traditional eating of the christmas tree
Reposted by THE Burger King
Have we considered that Die Hard might not only be a Christmas movie, but may actually go a step further to be classifiable as a Hallmark-style holiday romcom?
December 25, 2023 at 8:58 PM
Have we considered that Die Hard might not only be a Christmas movie, but may actually go a step further to be classifiable as a Hallmark-style holiday romcom?
The supermarkets are closed for Christmas tomorrow. Better go out and buy 2 weeks of food at 5PM.
December 24, 2025 at 11:52 PM
The supermarkets are closed for Christmas tomorrow. Better go out and buy 2 weeks of food at 5PM.
Reposted by THE Burger King
He's training a Sith
He's training him twice
All the Jedi kids
He'll sacrifice
He's training him twice
All the Jedi kids
He'll sacrifice
December 24, 2024 at 4:01 PM
He's training a Sith
He's training him twice
All the Jedi kids
He'll sacrifice
He's training him twice
All the Jedi kids
He'll sacrifice
Reposted by THE Burger King
By a show of jazz hands, how many of you are fabulous?
December 20, 2025 at 4:41 PM
By a show of jazz hands, how many of you are fabulous?
Reposted by THE Burger King
Why aren't Santa's little helpers called Subordinate Clauses?
December 6, 2023 at 2:16 PM
Why aren't Santa's little helpers called Subordinate Clauses?
Reposted by THE Burger King
Santa used to fly his sleigh without wearing a seatbelt until the accident. Now he's ho ho horribly disfigured.
December 7, 2023 at 1:46 PM
Santa used to fly his sleigh without wearing a seatbelt until the accident. Now he's ho ho horribly disfigured.
Reposted by THE Burger King
They're "strike anywhere" matches. Your baby's forehead is a where. No, I don't think that's unreasonable. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIT IT ON FIRE.
December 24, 2025 at 8:18 AM
They're "strike anywhere" matches. Your baby's forehead is a where. No, I don't think that's unreasonable. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIT IT ON FIRE.
This holiday season, give her what she really wants: A living wage.
December 24, 2025 at 6:27 PM
This holiday season, give her what she really wants: A living wage.
Reposted by THE Burger King
What is love? I wish I Haddaway to explain it.
December 26, 2024 at 7:29 PM
What is love? I wish I Haddaway to explain it.
Reposted by THE Burger King
(blows past you in a two-horse covered sleigh; just absolutely smokes yer ass)
December 17, 2023 at 3:51 AM
(blows past you in a two-horse covered sleigh; just absolutely smokes yer ass)
Reposted by THE Burger King
Just closed out a meeting by reminding people that I am off on friday and if they need anything to "pretend that I am deceased"
December 23, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Just closed out a meeting by reminding people that I am off on friday and if they need anything to "pretend that I am deceased"
Reposted by THE Burger King
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
December 11, 2025 at 7:57 PM
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
Reposted by THE Burger King
I'm not saying life is a vicious circle. But it may be a cruel rhombus. Or a callous trapezoid. At the very least, life is a bloodthirsty parallelogram
December 5, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I'm not saying life is a vicious circle. But it may be a cruel rhombus. Or a callous trapezoid. At the very least, life is a bloodthirsty parallelogram
My favorite song about an average guy who lost a lot of weight is Dolly Parton's "Joe Lean".
December 10, 2025 at 5:52 PM
My favorite song about an average guy who lost a lot of weight is Dolly Parton's "Joe Lean".
Reposted by THE Burger King
ME: I’m not really into horror scenes or melodramatic roles, I can’t cry on command and I definitely won’t do nudity
KFC RECRUITER: ok
KFC RECRUITER: ok
December 8, 2025 at 8:24 PM
ME: I’m not really into horror scenes or melodramatic roles, I can’t cry on command and I definitely won’t do nudity
KFC RECRUITER: ok
KFC RECRUITER: ok
Reposted by THE Burger King
ME: Can you show me how to make jelly?
WIFE: K. Why?
ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
WIFE: K. Why?
ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
December 8, 2025 at 10:44 PM
ME: Can you show me how to make jelly?
WIFE: K. Why?
ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
WIFE: K. Why?
ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
Reposted by THE Burger King
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
December 3, 2023 at 1:13 AM
My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord
Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord