Clumsy old fingers
@whysoglumchum.bsky.social
You're welcome to follow, but I'm really not going anywhere.
Reposted by Clumsy old fingers
The reply all button is the devil's playground
December 5, 2025 at 4:59 PM
The reply all button is the devil's playground
Reposted by Clumsy old fingers
Christmas Dinners Around The World.
UK: Sage and onion turkey, sips mulled wine.
Australia: Thymey kangaroo, downs port.
UK: Sage and onion turkey, sips mulled wine.
Australia: Thymey kangaroo, downs port.
December 2, 2025 at 7:52 AM
Christmas Dinners Around The World.
UK: Sage and onion turkey, sips mulled wine.
Australia: Thymey kangaroo, downs port.
UK: Sage and onion turkey, sips mulled wine.
Australia: Thymey kangaroo, downs port.
Reposted by Clumsy old fingers
In honour of its proponents, I suggest that the Dmitriev-Witkoff proposal should henceforth be called the Dim-Wit Plan
November 23, 2025 at 2:37 PM
In honour of its proponents, I suggest that the Dmitriev-Witkoff proposal should henceforth be called the Dim-Wit Plan
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Often wondered when my "old man hates new tech" moment would come, approaching 50, thought maybe I was immune. But AI-generated music is it, apparently. Utter soulless slop, polluting my playlists. Burn it all.
November 23, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Often wondered when my "old man hates new tech" moment would come, approaching 50, thought maybe I was immune. But AI-generated music is it, apparently. Utter soulless slop, polluting my playlists. Burn it all.
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motsi: thank you for sharing your journey with us
craig: that was nnnorgeous, darling
shirley: *applauding slowly* it was a privilege to watch
anton: you went ‘phwoar, i‘m gonna give it some of that’ and then you went ‘ave it’ and that move at the end? fabulous
me: can I please just finish my shit
craig: that was nnnorgeous, darling
shirley: *applauding slowly* it was a privilege to watch
anton: you went ‘phwoar, i‘m gonna give it some of that’ and then you went ‘ave it’ and that move at the end? fabulous
me: can I please just finish my shit
November 22, 2025 at 8:04 PM
motsi: thank you for sharing your journey with us
craig: that was nnnorgeous, darling
shirley: *applauding slowly* it was a privilege to watch
anton: you went ‘phwoar, i‘m gonna give it some of that’ and then you went ‘ave it’ and that move at the end? fabulous
me: can I please just finish my shit
craig: that was nnnorgeous, darling
shirley: *applauding slowly* it was a privilege to watch
anton: you went ‘phwoar, i‘m gonna give it some of that’ and then you went ‘ave it’ and that move at the end? fabulous
me: can I please just finish my shit
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Anyone who chooses Sinatra as their funeral song: you didn't do it your way. Your spouse influenced you. Your friends guided you. Your family made decisions you didn't like but went along with. And they're all having that thrown in their faces as they pay their last respects.
November 12, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Anyone who chooses Sinatra as their funeral song: you didn't do it your way. Your spouse influenced you. Your friends guided you. Your family made decisions you didn't like but went along with. And they're all having that thrown in their faces as they pay their last respects.
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And when there were twenty-three pairs of footprints in the sand?
It was then that you were a member of The Polyphonic Spree.
It was then that you were a member of The Polyphonic Spree.
November 11, 2025 at 7:49 AM
And when there were twenty-three pairs of footprints in the sand?
It was then that you were a member of The Polyphonic Spree.
It was then that you were a member of The Polyphonic Spree.
Reposted by Clumsy old fingers
Just threw a ghost boomerang. That’s gonna come back to haunt me.
October 31, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Just threw a ghost boomerang. That’s gonna come back to haunt me.
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Felt coot. Might delete later.
October 24, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Felt coot. Might delete later.
Reposted by Clumsy old fingers
Doctor: “Good morning. What seems to be the problem?”
Patient: “Well, Doctor, I swallowed a tiny tool box yesterday and now I have ear rake and my throat is a little saw…”
Patient: “Well, Doctor, I swallowed a tiny tool box yesterday and now I have ear rake and my throat is a little saw…”
September 28, 2025 at 8:28 AM
Doctor: “Good morning. What seems to be the problem?”
Patient: “Well, Doctor, I swallowed a tiny tool box yesterday and now I have ear rake and my throat is a little saw…”
Patient: “Well, Doctor, I swallowed a tiny tool box yesterday and now I have ear rake and my throat is a little saw…”
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Reached an age where there's a 50/50 chance that any TV show I watch will feature a posh man walking towards the camera saying "I've come to Fincham to see a one of a kind feat of engineering. This stretch of canal is home to the world famous Wittletwix Lock..."
September 26, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Reached an age where there's a 50/50 chance that any TV show I watch will feature a posh man walking towards the camera saying "I've come to Fincham to see a one of a kind feat of engineering. This stretch of canal is home to the world famous Wittletwix Lock..."
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I hope this ishmael finds you whale
September 9, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I hope this ishmael finds you whale
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Autumnal modesty
September 4, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Autumnal modesty
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If you could help me find an anagram for ‘dusting vermin’, it’s driving me nuts.
Empty cello! - that’s completely messed up!
August 29, 2025 at 8:19 AM
If you could help me find an anagram for ‘dusting vermin’, it’s driving me nuts.
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[sign in hawk's kitchen]
EAT PREY, LOVE
EAT PREY, LOVE
August 25, 2025 at 3:19 PM
[sign in hawk's kitchen]
EAT PREY, LOVE
EAT PREY, LOVE
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Absolutely ridiculous that we're all just expected to believe that there's a football team called Crystal Palace. That is a nonsense. Who are their rivals, Enchanted Glade? Grow up.
August 24, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Absolutely ridiculous that we're all just expected to believe that there's a football team called Crystal Palace. That is a nonsense. Who are their rivals, Enchanted Glade? Grow up.
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“Good day, shopkeep. I’d like two litres of your finest dramatic exit”
“I’m afraid they only come in fl ounces”
“I’m afraid they only come in fl ounces”
August 22, 2025 at 6:23 PM
“Good day, shopkeep. I’d like two litres of your finest dramatic exit”
“I’m afraid they only come in fl ounces”
“I’m afraid they only come in fl ounces”
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When we overcook pasta in our house, we call it ‘al denture’.
August 19, 2025 at 6:42 PM
When we overcook pasta in our house, we call it ‘al denture’.
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People often ask how my wife and I met, but it's your pretty standard boy meets girl story. She was a young woman who left the big city to move back home, and I was the physical manifestation of her grief, a memory repressed, the shape in the dark.
August 18, 2025 at 8:22 PM
People often ask how my wife and I met, but it's your pretty standard boy meets girl story. She was a young woman who left the big city to move back home, and I was the physical manifestation of her grief, a memory repressed, the shape in the dark.
Reposted by Clumsy old fingers
Sugar is more deadly and addictive than weed
August 16, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Sugar is more deadly and addictive than weed
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Please don’t call it man flu. Its correct name is manchester flunited.
July 23, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Please don’t call it man flu. Its correct name is manchester flunited.
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"What's a baby deer called?”
“Fawn!"
“Sorry - what's a baby deer called, O wise and handsome one?"
“Fawn!"
“Sorry - what's a baby deer called, O wise and handsome one?"
July 22, 2025 at 9:26 AM
"What's a baby deer called?”
“Fawn!"
“Sorry - what's a baby deer called, O wise and handsome one?"
“Fawn!"
“Sorry - what's a baby deer called, O wise and handsome one?"
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Middle-class parents organising custom plates and framed class portrait art for teachers at end of year need to get a grip. Your kid is one 1000s they will deal with in their working life. If you must, booze and chocolate or even better, cold hard cash.
July 21, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Middle-class parents organising custom plates and framed class portrait art for teachers at end of year need to get a grip. Your kid is one 1000s they will deal with in their working life. If you must, booze and chocolate or even better, cold hard cash.
Reposted by Clumsy old fingers
Dua Lipa should release her own brand of beer called Dual IPA.
July 13, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Dua Lipa should release her own brand of beer called Dual IPA.