tuyere
tuyere.bsky.social
tuyere
@tuyere.bsky.social
a bear in a blood-red mackinaw /
with hungry dogs at bay
Reposted by tuyere
I will be stepping back from my public commitments but I will continue being around teenagers all the time
November 18, 2025 at 4:09 AM
i don’t smoke but like nicotine once in a while. means i have no tolerance, and if i keep even the weakest strength of zin in my mouth for more than 5 minutes, i get nicotine poisoning. guess who forgot to take it out. this fucking sucks ass lmao
November 17, 2025 at 6:55 AM
little bird nixie thinks he’s a person and just sits at the dining room table some times
November 12, 2025 at 5:24 AM
fuckin in piledriver position with my pince-nez still on
November 11, 2025 at 11:43 PM
i bet stan rogers laid monster pipe
November 11, 2025 at 4:08 PM
crashing my car into a light pole because i got way too into Barrett’s Privateers, then letting everyone think i was just on my phone because that’s less embarrassing
November 11, 2025 at 2:42 AM
rewatching the master and telling everyone i’m doing so it because it’s a good movie. in reality, i just want to see PSH get honked off and will put up with the film bookending said honking
November 9, 2025 at 5:34 AM
look,
We all know that one guy who, whenever people are arguing about humanity’s greatest technological advances, has to jump in about fucking ball bearings, an absolute simp for ball bearings, can’t WAIT to get into his little spiel.
November 9, 2025 at 5:24 AM
jesus christ
lord i see what u have done for others
November 7, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Reposted by tuyere
do not learn about the phone and its inhabitants. do not keep track of all the different characters, the politicians, the chit chatters who talk about the politicians. learn about metals instead. their properties, their strengths, their stats. control metals and you control fate
November 4, 2025 at 2:56 AM
budgerigar music reviews:

The Knife - Silent Shout: looked around alarmed and alert until the discordancy of We Share Our Mother’s Health terrified little Gilgamesh back into the cage. come on out gilgamesh the scary music is gone
November 2, 2025 at 6:55 PM
finally, normal posting can resume. the distorting corruption of baseball retreats for another year
November 2, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Reposted by tuyere
to steal a great tweet:

“Star Trek is woke now”

the main characters of Deep Space Nine include Black Jesus, Bisexual Terrorist, Trans Worm, Doctor Twink with his boyfriend Fashion Lizard, Traumatized Goo, Communist Himbo, and Pro-Union Irishman
December 14, 2024 at 8:22 PM
helminthine priapitic danglers
November 1, 2025 at 10:14 AM
Reposted by tuyere
October 31, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Reposted by tuyere
AI companies: The future of humanoid robots is here

Humanoid robot:
October 31, 2025 at 1:49 PM
writing a parody version of ‘Hurt’ about clogging the toilet, instead of unclogging the toilet i just clogged
October 31, 2025 at 4:05 AM
everyone loves the turkish ice cream man bit. until you try it with a roll of toilet paper passed through a cracked bathroom door. that’s entirely different, for some reason
October 31, 2025 at 3:11 AM
IF YOU GO HOME WITH SOMEONE AND THEY DONT BUY THEIR FASTENERS FROM MCMASTER-CARR, DO NOT FUCK THEM
October 31, 2025 at 1:32 AM
if a garlic cannery caught on fire it would smell amazing for like 15 minutes
October 28, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Reposted by tuyere
Construction on the east wing of the White House has revealed the hidden laboratory where Yakub cooked up JD Vance
October 26, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Reposted by tuyere
I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA

10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)
September 24, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Reposted by tuyere
Video Head Cleaner
October 25, 2025 at 3:02 AM
just had an entire conversation about marfan syndrome where i accidentally called it morgellons throughout. jesus christ
October 15, 2025 at 3:39 AM