Reposted by espeon :3
You are not more likely to be killed by a coconut than a shark. This is a statistical error.
Coconuts Georg, who lives under a coconut tree and is killed by 10,000 coconuts a year is an outlier and should not have been counted.
Coconuts Georg, who lives under a coconut tree and is killed by 10,000 coconuts a year is an outlier and should not have been counted.
June 29, 2025 at 2:45 AM
You are not more likely to be killed by a coconut than a shark. This is a statistical error.
Coconuts Georg, who lives under a coconut tree and is killed by 10,000 coconuts a year is an outlier and should not have been counted.
Coconuts Georg, who lives under a coconut tree and is killed by 10,000 coconuts a year is an outlier and should not have been counted.
Reposted by espeon :3
Because I like making silly things:
May 23, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Because I like making silly things:
Reposted by espeon :3
Consumer Reports has rated the Onion Store the #1 place to buy Onion merch in America.
store.theonion.com/p...
store.theonion.com/p...
May 7, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Consumer Reports has rated the Onion Store the #1 place to buy Onion merch in America.
store.theonion.com/p...
store.theonion.com/p...
Reposted by espeon :3
Reposted by espeon :3
I am not suited for public consumption
March 25, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I am not suited for public consumption
Reposted by espeon :3
My pants are TOO SHORT my arm holes TOO BIG my hair is FUCKED UP my shoes are DECAYING uhh & I vote
March 25, 2025 at 5:40 PM
My pants are TOO SHORT my arm holes TOO BIG my hair is FUCKED UP my shoes are DECAYING uhh & I vote
Reposted by espeon :3
the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear
March 26, 2025 at 5:16 AM
the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear
Reposted by espeon :3
remember, guys, if your miku gets too rowdy, don’t be afraid to teach her a lesson by grinding her into spaghetti. not only is it educating, it’s enriching!
March 23, 2025 at 7:33 PM
remember, guys, if your miku gets too rowdy, don’t be afraid to teach her a lesson by grinding her into spaghetti. not only is it educating, it’s enriching!
Reposted by espeon :3
Me when I have the mental disorder I was diagnosed with:
March 19, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Me when I have the mental disorder I was diagnosed with:
Reposted by espeon :3
Bridget always invites me cutely when she wants something...🫨
March 13, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Bridget always invites me cutely when she wants something...🫨
Reposted by espeon :3
A scary moment in American history to release a sex ed course? Perhaps.
An important moment in American history to release a sex ed course? Definitely.
An important moment in American history to release a sex ed course? Definitely.
March 14, 2025 at 12:28 AM
A scary moment in American history to release a sex ed course? Perhaps.
An important moment in American history to release a sex ed course? Definitely.
An important moment in American history to release a sex ed course? Definitely.
Reposted by espeon :3
Your hands were made to click the “buy” button.
store.theonion.com/c...
store.theonion.com/c...
March 12, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Your hands were made to click the “buy” button.
store.theonion.com/c...
store.theonion.com/c...
ngl not great
sorry i did fully forget this app existed. how are we all doing
March 4, 2025 at 8:23 AM
ngl not great
Reposted by espeon :3
sorry i did fully forget this app existed. how are we all doing
March 4, 2025 at 6:52 AM
sorry i did fully forget this app existed. how are we all doing
We are rooting for you, Illinois!
LEGISLATION INTRODUCED IN ILLINOIS TO DECRIMINALIZE SEX WORK!!
“The bill would remove criminal penalties for adults engaged in consensual paid sex, and remove arrest and conviction records for prostitutes.
It would also create a sex workers’ bill of rights.”
#SexWork 🧡🖤
“The bill would remove criminal penalties for adults engaged in consensual paid sex, and remove arrest and conviction records for prostitutes.
It would also create a sex workers’ bill of rights.”
#SexWork 🧡🖤
March 3, 2025 at 6:04 AM
Reposted by espeon :3
Reposted by espeon :3
I’m going on record: Life first happened when an RNA fucked a metabolism.
February 26, 2025 at 3:06 PM
I’m going on record: Life first happened when an RNA fucked a metabolism.
Reposted by espeon :3
Reposted by espeon :3
[forgetting the word tambourine]
one musical frisbee please
one musical frisbee please
February 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
[forgetting the word tambourine]
one musical frisbee please
one musical frisbee please
Reposted by espeon :3
What we need is a tax system that severely punishes companies for being anything more than modestly profitable
February 25, 2025 at 10:45 PM
What we need is a tax system that severely punishes companies for being anything more than modestly profitable
Reposted by espeon :3
Reposted by espeon :3
I feel like BBQ sauce has its place in society but it’s common use as a catch-all sauce is depriving hungry people of the bounty of options now available to the public
Cspan host: I see, and did you have any questions for Secretary of the United Nations António Guterres?
Me: no
Cspan host: I see, and did you have any questions for Secretary of the United Nations António Guterres?
Me: no
February 25, 2025 at 5:44 PM
I feel like BBQ sauce has its place in society but it’s common use as a catch-all sauce is depriving hungry people of the bounty of options now available to the public
Cspan host: I see, and did you have any questions for Secretary of the United Nations António Guterres?
Me: no
Cspan host: I see, and did you have any questions for Secretary of the United Nations António Guterres?
Me: no
Reposted by espeon :3
Three hardest things
for a man to say:
1: I need help
2: I was wrong
3: Worcestershire Sauce
for a man to say:
1: I need help
2: I was wrong
3: Worcestershire Sauce
February 24, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Three hardest things
for a man to say:
1: I need help
2: I was wrong
3: Worcestershire Sauce
for a man to say:
1: I need help
2: I was wrong
3: Worcestershire Sauce
Reposted by espeon :3
it is i, the packager of all phở takeout orders. yes, i will forever levy a 30% mung bean sprout and 60% thai basil tax. no, i will not reveal how we keep the broth scalding hot in the plastic container. yes, you will return. people always return
February 25, 2025 at 1:38 AM
it is i, the packager of all phở takeout orders. yes, i will forever levy a 30% mung bean sprout and 60% thai basil tax. no, i will not reveal how we keep the broth scalding hot in the plastic container. yes, you will return. people always return