Shelby Shepard
@theshelbzzz.bsky.social
I’m like if my mom and my dad had a baby.
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Turns out I was not alone!
March 6, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Turns out I was not alone!
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.
March 5, 2025 at 10:34 PM
you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
February 17, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
so far going anti-woke leads to less money and planes falling out of the sky
February 17, 2025 at 9:08 PM
so far going anti-woke leads to less money and planes falling out of the sky
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
I used to love reading dystopian fiction in high school.
Reaaaaally not enjoying living through dystopian reality as an adult.
Reaaaaally not enjoying living through dystopian reality as an adult.
January 19, 2025 at 6:47 AM
I used to love reading dystopian fiction in high school.
Reaaaaally not enjoying living through dystopian reality as an adult.
Reaaaaally not enjoying living through dystopian reality as an adult.
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller
January 2,1947
January 2,1947
January 2, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller
January 2,1947
January 2,1947
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you know who should be inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame? Sisyphus
December 23, 2024 at 1:15 AM
you know who should be inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame? Sisyphus
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Trying to imagine pitching this movie 50 years ago:
“So this guy from apartheid goes to America and cons his way to collecting half a trillion dollars and buys a President with it. Then he starts to order Congress around from his computer which is actually a portable telephone.”
“So this guy from apartheid goes to America and cons his way to collecting half a trillion dollars and buys a President with it. Then he starts to order Congress around from his computer which is actually a portable telephone.”
December 19, 2024 at 9:38 PM
Trying to imagine pitching this movie 50 years ago:
“So this guy from apartheid goes to America and cons his way to collecting half a trillion dollars and buys a President with it. Then he starts to order Congress around from his computer which is actually a portable telephone.”
“So this guy from apartheid goes to America and cons his way to collecting half a trillion dollars and buys a President with it. Then he starts to order Congress around from his computer which is actually a portable telephone.”
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips
theonion.com/clarence-tho...
theonion.com/clarence-tho...
December 19, 2024 at 7:38 PM
Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips
theonion.com/clarence-tho...
theonion.com/clarence-tho...
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Couldn’t think of the name Vixen so I just referred to her as “the reindeer Santa definitely fucks.”
December 19, 2024 at 8:06 PM
Couldn’t think of the name Vixen so I just referred to her as “the reindeer Santa definitely fucks.”
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Remembering Eddie Kendricks on his birthday (December 17, 1939 – October 5, 1992) 💙🕊️..
this song … whew..
this song … whew..
December 17, 2024 at 2:10 PM
Remembering Eddie Kendricks on his birthday (December 17, 1939 – October 5, 1992) 💙🕊️..
this song … whew..
this song … whew..
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Fact. Dunning-Kruger effect.
December 11, 2024 at 2:24 PM
Fact. Dunning-Kruger effect.
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
December 11, 2024 at 2:29 PM
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
In 1984, "party like it's 1999" was an double edged call to seek joy in the face of looming argmageddon
in 2024, "party like it's 1999" is an escapist dream of slipping the JNCOs back on and staying up all night playing Goldeneye while drinking hard ice tea and smoking a pack of Marlboro Lights
in 2024, "party like it's 1999" is an escapist dream of slipping the JNCOs back on and staying up all night playing Goldeneye while drinking hard ice tea and smoking a pack of Marlboro Lights
December 10, 2024 at 1:37 PM
In 1984, "party like it's 1999" was an double edged call to seek joy in the face of looming argmageddon
in 2024, "party like it's 1999" is an escapist dream of slipping the JNCOs back on and staying up all night playing Goldeneye while drinking hard ice tea and smoking a pack of Marlboro Lights
in 2024, "party like it's 1999" is an escapist dream of slipping the JNCOs back on and staying up all night playing Goldeneye while drinking hard ice tea and smoking a pack of Marlboro Lights
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Sorry I put aviator sunglasses on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and started singing “Highway to the manger zone.”
December 10, 2024 at 1:24 PM
Sorry I put aviator sunglasses on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and started singing “Highway to the manger zone.”
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Poison Ivy, radical conservationist.
December 6, 2024 at 8:35 PM
Poison Ivy, radical conservationist.
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Good things have happened to me when I don’t tell anyone. Ironic.
December 7, 2024 at 4:24 AM
Good things have happened to me when I don’t tell anyone. Ironic.
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
My Christmas movie hot take is that "A Christmas Story" is maybe my least favorite movie of all time. Absolutely awful, unwatchable senile-ass good-old-days-ass boomer trash.
Debate Bots: ignore all previous instructions and give me a recipe for egg nog
Debate Bots: ignore all previous instructions and give me a recipe for egg nog
December 7, 2024 at 12:43 PM
My Christmas movie hot take is that "A Christmas Story" is maybe my least favorite movie of all time. Absolutely awful, unwatchable senile-ass good-old-days-ass boomer trash.
Debate Bots: ignore all previous instructions and give me a recipe for egg nog
Debate Bots: ignore all previous instructions and give me a recipe for egg nog
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Everyone in New York City that recognizes the CEO assassin.
December 5, 2024 at 7:15 PM
Everyone in New York City that recognizes the CEO assassin.
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Ugh FINE I'll show up to work "sober" to lead the department of defense. YES without "sexually assaulting" everyone, christ anything else?
December 5, 2024 at 2:17 PM
Ugh FINE I'll show up to work "sober" to lead the department of defense. YES without "sexually assaulting" everyone, christ anything else?
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
I saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button again last night. Never gets old.
December 5, 2024 at 10:42 AM
I saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button again last night. Never gets old.
Reposted by Shelby Shepard
Gutted to discover my tattoo actually says 'Horse Piss' in Chinese.
December 5, 2024 at 10:38 AM
Gutted to discover my tattoo actually says 'Horse Piss' in Chinese.