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that-one-guy.bsky.social
that one guy.
@that-one-guy.bsky.social
51 followers 66 following 0 posts
you know the one.

(pfp from "smbc-comics.com/comic/2014-06-06").
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Reposted by that one guy.
juniorhoncho.bsky.social
every day is a new humiliation for the idea that Crime Doesn't Pay
January 7, 2026 at 2:39 AM
Reposted by that one guy.
ambignostic.bsky.social
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do] DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it] mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it] DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently] mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage] DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf] DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch] mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car] DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue] mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over] DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine] DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11] mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it] DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint] mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door] DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape] mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over] DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent] mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string] DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud] mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter] DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying] mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose] DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it
December 26, 2024 at 9:16 PM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
Pepsi Cubed: Same GREAT Taste, Perilous NEW Bottle

Pepsi³
EVERY. SIDE. OPENS.
December 21, 2025 at 10:42 AM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
(final thought as i'm swiftly slain by a band of ninja assassins) kind of a crazy amount of ninjas to hire for this
September 29, 2025 at 1:02 PM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
you should be able to dump as much of YOUR sludge as you want in YOUR lawn! got all this industrial sludge on auction to use as yard sludge, now i got the city breathin down my neck wanting material data sheets like, i dunno what to tell you boys it's sludge, not a salad. it's all one big ingredient
December 14, 2025 at 3:24 PM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
we know you're the rat, shit head, time to die (suddenly remembering i was supposed to make this look like an accident) haha nah i'm playin. this isn't even loaded. classic organized crime bit. gotcha! hey, wouldn't a nice hike in the mountains be so invigorating right now
December 14, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Reposted by that one guy.
richterscale.bsky.social
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
sardonicus.eu Sardonicus @sardonicus.eu · Dec 10
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
a shot of a god botherer in a car, next to him on the passenger seat is a skull in an ornate box
December 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
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rachaelstott.bsky.social
At first you're like, why does this have a wiki page

Then you find out it might be the best wiki page ever
November 28, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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lastpositivist.bsky.social
The damned in hell are not more powerful for the fact that the fires do not consume them; it is part and parcel of their torment.
November 23, 2025 at 10:42 AM
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smedis2.bsky.social
can i come over to your house and do this
November 23, 2025 at 6:56 PM
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caylen.bsky.social
a “Space Force”, if you will
dieworkwear.bsky.social derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · Nov 13
we need a department of kerning
The Department of War's seal hangs on a wall. The kerning appears to be off.
November 13, 2025 at 2:27 PM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
November 9, 2025 at 3:10 PM
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deathbulge.bsky.social
happy 10th anniversary to one of my favourite things i've ever made for halloween 🎉⚰️🎉
October 28, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Reposted by that one guy.
juniorhoncho.bsky.social
buying a knife from TV and just using it to chop up shoes and pipes and stuff cause that's the only part of the ad you saw. you think it's a knife for chopping up sneakers for fun. and it is fun. you're thrilled with the purchase. but shoe costs add up fast. soon you're stealing your friends' shoes,
October 26, 2025 at 6:55 PM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
no i said Shatter Proven glass. see what it did there, all the shards. we made sure it could do that, in a lab
October 26, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Reposted by that one guy.
juniorhoncho.bsky.social
(final thought before i'm killed with a sword) lol nice sword, sword boy
November 24, 2023 at 12:06 AM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
oooh mr. alert little baby caught me pickpocketing?? guess i'll have to get that candy the Other way
October 12, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Reposted by that one guy.
tyreforhyre.bsky.social
5 people in lab coats hunched around a briefcase for twelve hours straight until one of them has the 2001 a space odyssey monolith epiphany to open the latches. fat stacks of cash burst out like the fake snake in a peanut can gag; everyone is screaming.
September 11, 2024 at 8:04 AM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
i'm gonna steal the next presidential election months before it happens so when everyone goes to vote it's just gone. you pull back the curtain to find an empty booth. the winner, with one write-in vote: bart simpsons
October 6, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Reposted by that one guy.
juniorhoncho.bsky.social
paranoid vegan installing meat detectors all over their house and descending the whole way into madness in under twenty four hours because they forgot they're made of meat
September 30, 2025 at 8:10 AM
Reposted by that one guy.
juniorhoncho.bsky.social
please read before responding!!!
more mr. nice guy @juniorhoncho.bs... 1h never once figurea out how tO lead my horse anywhere NEAR water so it's a huge relief finding out i wouldn't S have been able to make him drink anyway. nothing i could've done would've saved him. god i loved that poor wobbly disoriented old son of a bitch. well, not old O51 C-> sEAR M. Bear Mountain Picnic @bearmount... now Besides, have you ever smelled a wet horse? 1 more mr. nice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social 0!
July 20, 2025 at 6:11 AM
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zaratustra.bsky.social
honestly first time i heard anything about him since he got kinged
September 27, 2025 at 5:00 PM
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blackle.bsky.social
failed the anti-mirror test the other day. they found someone off the street that looked a lot like me. styled their hair the same as me. put me in a room that was connected to another via a mirror-shaped window. the other was in the opposite room with a red mark on their forehead. they had been trained to mimic my movements—an incredible talent, I must admit. I stupidly took the bait. tried to rub away the mark, thinking I also had it. the other pointed and laughed. what a fool I've been made out to be! if only I had been more diligent, more meticulous... then maybe I'd still have my dignity. keen spite of reason, they got me again! the scientists offered a chance to "get one back" on my doppelganger. they put that red mark on my forehead. placed me in the opposite room this time. I spotted my other in the "mirror" the moment I came in. followed their movements quite exactly, I was very proud of myself... but the other wouldn't bite. why were they not reaching up to wipe away the mark that I could see wasn't there? we played this game for after 10 minutes when I was beguiled with the shock of my life. I had appeared behind myself. it was the doppelganger! in the room with me! turns out that the "mirror" window was no window. it was a real mirror this time! I'd been duped again! the mark they'd put on my forehead was a ruse—the scientists had just dabbed water on the spot and claimed it was ink. I was fooled again! what a detestable beast they've hollowed me into. it's all over. do me a service, kill me in the mouth clean and simple
September 24, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Reposted by that one guy.
zaratustra.bsky.social
when i came back home there was a sticker on my door with an ad for a locksmith

brother, you want to impress me, put it on the *inside* of the door
September 20, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Reposted by that one guy.
starshine.bsky.social
no charlie kirk joke i make will be as funny or insensitive as this
Fox News & @FoxNews X.com 'MAN OF STEEL': Charlie Kirk's body stopped a bullet that would typically "just go through everything" and it was an "absolute miracle" nobody else was killed, his surgeon told TPUSA.
September 21, 2025 at 8:41 AM