Tealeaf
@tealeaf.bsky.social
They/them. polyam. Not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you.
But when is not all men's day?
November 19, 2025 at 10:23 PM
But when is not all men's day?
Idk seems pretty likely they joined the Croatoan people who lived nearby. But I'm no historian
CROATOAN 🌲
This English attempt to settle in North America ended with a mystery.
In 1587, settlers established a colony on Roanoke Island, now part of North Carolina. Governor John White returned to England for supplies and did not make it back for three years due to war. 🧵⬇️ (1/3)
This English attempt to settle in North America ended with a mystery.
In 1587, settlers established a colony on Roanoke Island, now part of North Carolina. Governor John White returned to England for supplies and did not make it back for three years due to war. 🧵⬇️ (1/3)
November 19, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Idk seems pretty likely they joined the Croatoan people who lived nearby. But I'm no historian
Reposted by Tealeaf
Stone Age: We made this thing extinct one at a time by inventing a better way to throw darts.
Early Modern: We hath mayde these thinges extincte by bringing cattes whence there should nought be cattes.
Contemporary: lol we did a mass extinction with our plagiarizing nonconsensual porn machine lmao
Early Modern: We hath mayde these thinges extincte by bringing cattes whence there should nought be cattes.
Contemporary: lol we did a mass extinction with our plagiarizing nonconsensual porn machine lmao
November 12, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Stone Age: We made this thing extinct one at a time by inventing a better way to throw darts.
Early Modern: We hath mayde these thinges extincte by bringing cattes whence there should nought be cattes.
Contemporary: lol we did a mass extinction with our plagiarizing nonconsensual porn machine lmao
Early Modern: We hath mayde these thinges extincte by bringing cattes whence there should nought be cattes.
Contemporary: lol we did a mass extinction with our plagiarizing nonconsensual porn machine lmao
Reposted by Tealeaf
Dick Cheney died the day we may get the first Muslim mayor of New York, if that ain’t the Mandate of Heaven I don’t know what is
November 4, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Dick Cheney died the day we may get the first Muslim mayor of New York, if that ain’t the Mandate of Heaven I don’t know what is
TBH I mostly dress to confuse time travelers
October 25, 2025 at 12:27 PM
TBH I mostly dress to confuse time travelers
This is what happens when you don't nurture your staff including Nate the great
October 25, 2025 at 10:00 AM
This is what happens when you don't nurture your staff including Nate the great
Reposted by Tealeaf
Day 62 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo
October 19, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Day 62 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo
I feel bad about copying the plagiarism police word for word into my notes
October 17, 2025 at 9:54 AM
I feel bad about copying the plagiarism police word for word into my notes
Reposted by Tealeaf
Today was supposed to be The Civil Court Users Association’s national conference, where bailiffs & debt collection agencies come together. Not on our watch.
We’ve shut it down as part of our fight for a Bailiff Free Britain🔥
Sign our open letter here: acornuk.good.do/englandcampa...
We’ve shut it down as part of our fight for a Bailiff Free Britain🔥
Sign our open letter here: acornuk.good.do/englandcampa...
October 14, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Today was supposed to be The Civil Court Users Association’s national conference, where bailiffs & debt collection agencies come together. Not on our watch.
We’ve shut it down as part of our fight for a Bailiff Free Britain🔥
Sign our open letter here: acornuk.good.do/englandcampa...
We’ve shut it down as part of our fight for a Bailiff Free Britain🔥
Sign our open letter here: acornuk.good.do/englandcampa...
Reposted by Tealeaf
We’re sending a clear message to parasite bailiffs… “And if they can’t hear us, we’ll take over their conference!”🔥
October 14, 2025 at 12:39 PM
We’re sending a clear message to parasite bailiffs… “And if they can’t hear us, we’ll take over their conference!”🔥
Reposted by Tealeaf
Tom Scot in the fastest car in the world.
October 8, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Tom Scot in the fastest car in the world.
Reposted by Tealeaf
she is gods righteous sword truly
October 4, 2025 at 4:55 PM
she is gods righteous sword truly
Well that's more accurate than someone I legally can't name
October 1, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Well that's more accurate than someone I legally can't name
Reposted by Tealeaf
CONTINENTAL HOTEL BONG SOMMELIER: And what would Sir desire for, hm, an amuse-bouche?
KEANU WICK: Something with... character. Bold, but... refined.
CHBS: [Pulling out a joint that looks like the weed equivalent of a Scooby-Doo sandwich] Of course. One pirate coin please
KEANU WICK: Something with... character. Bold, but... refined.
CHBS: [Pulling out a joint that looks like the weed equivalent of a Scooby-Doo sandwich] Of course. One pirate coin please
October 1, 2025 at 1:03 AM
CONTINENTAL HOTEL BONG SOMMELIER: And what would Sir desire for, hm, an amuse-bouche?
KEANU WICK: Something with... character. Bold, but... refined.
CHBS: [Pulling out a joint that looks like the weed equivalent of a Scooby-Doo sandwich] Of course. One pirate coin please
KEANU WICK: Something with... character. Bold, but... refined.
CHBS: [Pulling out a joint that looks like the weed equivalent of a Scooby-Doo sandwich] Of course. One pirate coin please
Reposted by Tealeaf
i need to fuck an elf unprotected
ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘢. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳
ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘢. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳
September 29, 2025 at 12:56 AM
i need to fuck an elf unprotected
ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘢. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳
ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘢. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳
Reposted by Tealeaf
this is something that hontdog and shiddpostha would do to me, fr
September 28, 2025 at 6:48 PM
this is something that hontdog and shiddpostha would do to me, fr
Reposted by Tealeaf
Always worth mentioning of course that these cretins don’t necessarily care that what they’re saying is stupid and makes them sound like clueless dipshits. The aim is to broadcast contempt. “He’s a god” is cover for “fuck disabled people.”
It’s still funny that they’re such imbeciles though.
It’s still funny that they’re such imbeciles though.
September 28, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Always worth mentioning of course that these cretins don’t necessarily care that what they’re saying is stupid and makes them sound like clueless dipshits. The aim is to broadcast contempt. “He’s a god” is cover for “fuck disabled people.”
It’s still funny that they’re such imbeciles though.
It’s still funny that they’re such imbeciles though.
I went to Stockport yesterday and the flag shaggers had put 4 or 5 union jacks on the lamposts. & while I know hypocrisy is table stakes with the right, I spotted 3 that were upside down and 1 correct so they weren't doing an "in distress†" symbol, nor did they *actually care* about the flag.
September 27, 2025 at 11:27 AM
I went to Stockport yesterday and the flag shaggers had put 4 or 5 union jacks on the lamposts. & while I know hypocrisy is table stakes with the right, I spotted 3 that were upside down and 1 correct so they weren't doing an "in distress†" symbol, nor did they *actually care* about the flag.
Reposted by Tealeaf
I bought a bunch of peaches at Lidl five days ago and they have not ripened an iota. A bowl of butt emojis with the firmness of ping pong balls sitting uselessly on my counter forever.
September 27, 2025 at 4:27 AM
I bought a bunch of peaches at Lidl five days ago and they have not ripened an iota. A bowl of butt emojis with the firmness of ping pong balls sitting uselessly on my counter forever.
Reposted by Tealeaf
women only want one thing and it’s to fill your attic with a bunch of raccoons that come out while you sleep, break all of your dishes, and then try to apologize by braiding your hair
September 16, 2025 at 7:26 PM
women only want one thing and it’s to fill your attic with a bunch of raccoons that come out while you sleep, break all of your dishes, and then try to apologize by braiding your hair
I didn't ask how deadly the police state is, I said I cast fireball
September 21, 2025 at 6:27 PM
I didn't ask how deadly the police state is, I said I cast fireball
Reposted by Tealeaf
Without cops, who are you gonna get to show up way too late to do anything, scold and disrespect you, and write a meaningless report?
Ok, fine, other than Democrats
Ok, fine, other than Democrats
September 19, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Without cops, who are you gonna get to show up way too late to do anything, scold and disrespect you, and write a meaningless report?
Ok, fine, other than Democrats
Ok, fine, other than Democrats
You're not supposed to be able to hear a pin drop during the needle drop
"what if we turned the pedophile diss track into a company song and had our white ceo rap it?" klarna on the street yo
September 19, 2025 at 6:07 PM
You're not supposed to be able to hear a pin drop during the needle drop
Reposted by Tealeaf
This may seem cute but if you do this too much the cyclists may become reliant on cars feeding them, disrupting the delicate roadway ecosystem
September 19, 2025 at 9:37 AM
This may seem cute but if you do this too much the cyclists may become reliant on cars feeding them, disrupting the delicate roadway ecosystem
YourParty_finalfinal(3).docx
Left-Wing Group Too Disorganized For FBI Agents To Infiltrate https://theonion.com/left-wing-group-too-disorganized-for-fbi-agents-to-infi-1848923025/
September 19, 2025 at 5:31 PM
YourParty_finalfinal(3).docx