Tealeaf
tealeaf.bsky.social
Tealeaf
@tealeaf.bsky.social
They/them. polyam. Not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you.
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there's a BIRD in the PARK
January 5, 2026 at 1:51 PM
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SHUT!!!!!!!!! - dashare.zone ADMIN
June 20, 2025 at 8:18 PM
If I had a nickel for every time I'd seen an hour long stand-up, by Mr. Green about having had cancer, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot
December 24, 2025 at 3:20 PM
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December 15, 2025 at 2:45 PM
I've just noticed that one patch is upside down, so now I need to make another quilt top. The 7th out of the planned 4 that I wanted to make.
December 12, 2025 at 8:07 PM
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WELCOME TO THE DRACULA PAPRIKA DISCOURSE!!

(meme from tumblr, not my own, original link seems to be dead now)
December 3, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Are MI5 running your party‽
Or is it just that they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.
November 29, 2025 at 10:34 PM
This is just an old XKCD xkcd.com/673/
November 25, 2025 at 6:49 PM
But when is not all men's day?
November 19, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Idk seems pretty likely they joined the Croatoan people who lived nearby. But I'm no historian
CROATOAN 🌲

This English attempt to settle in North America ended with a mystery. 

In 1587, settlers established a colony on Roanoke Island, now part of North Carolina. Governor John White returned to England for supplies and did not make it back for three years due to war. 🧵⬇️ (1/3)
November 19, 2025 at 1:41 PM
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Stone Age: We made this thing extinct one at a time by inventing a better way to throw darts.

Early Modern: We hath mayde these thinges extincte by bringing cattes whence there should nought be cattes.

Contemporary: lol we did a mass extinction with our plagiarizing nonconsensual porn machine lmao
November 12, 2025 at 4:19 AM
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Dick Cheney died the day we may get the first Muslim mayor of New York, if that ain’t the Mandate of Heaven I don’t know what is
November 4, 2025 at 12:52 PM
TBH I mostly dress to confuse time travelers
October 25, 2025 at 12:27 PM
This is what happens when you don't nurture your staff including Nate the great
October 25, 2025 at 10:00 AM
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Day 62 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo
October 19, 2025 at 12:18 PM
I feel bad about copying the plagiarism police word for word into my notes
October 17, 2025 at 9:54 AM
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Today was supposed to be The Civil Court Users Association’s national conference, where bailiffs & debt collection agencies come together. Not on our watch. 

We’ve shut it down as part of our fight for a Bailiff Free Britain🔥

Sign our open letter here: acornuk.good.do/englandcampa...
October 14, 2025 at 12:14 PM
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We’re sending a clear message to parasite bailiffs… “And if they can’t hear us, we’ll take over their conference!”🔥
October 14, 2025 at 12:39 PM
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Tom Scot in the fastest car in the world.
October 8, 2025 at 8:58 PM
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she is gods righteous sword truly
greta ily what an outfit
October 4, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Well that's more accurate than someone I legally can't name
October 1, 2025 at 9:10 PM
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CONTINENTAL HOTEL BONG SOMMELIER: And what would Sir desire for, hm, an amuse-bouche?
KEANU WICK: Something with... character. Bold, but... refined.
CHBS: [Pulling out a joint that looks like the weed equivalent of a Scooby-Doo sandwich] Of course. One pirate coin please
October 1, 2025 at 1:03 AM
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i need to fuck an elf unprotected

ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘢. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳
September 29, 2025 at 12:56 AM