SubstitutionBox
@substitutionbox.bsky.social
Alice and Bob walk into a bar...
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Anytime I see Jeff Bezos mentioned I remember the time he flew to space with William Shatner and when a very emotoinal Shatner was trying to describe the experience Bezos interrupted by spraying champagne like an idiot child
February 8, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Anytime I see Jeff Bezos mentioned I remember the time he flew to space with William Shatner and when a very emotoinal Shatner was trying to describe the experience Bezos interrupted by spraying champagne like an idiot child
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the magic of the Muppets is that there are two fourth walls. they constantly break the one that reminds the audience they are performers. they NEVER break the one that reminds the audience they are puppets. this dynamic is the key to their entire comedy style
MY KIDS: so why are there muppets in the AUDIENCE
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
ME: THE CONCEIT!! IS THAT THEY'RE PUTTING ON A VARIETY SHOW!!! IN A WORLD WHERE MUPPET AND HUMAN COEXIST!!! YOU ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY!! FILMED!! IN REAL TIME!!!
February 8, 2026 at 6:22 AM
the magic of the Muppets is that there are two fourth walls. they constantly break the one that reminds the audience they are performers. they NEVER break the one that reminds the audience they are puppets. this dynamic is the key to their entire comedy style
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The guy who owns Amazon shutting down the books section of the Washington Post is beyond parody
WaPo also closing Books section and downsizing International and Metro sections
February 4, 2026 at 2:05 PM
The guy who owns Amazon shutting down the books section of the Washington Post is beyond parody
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reminder that a small handful of Republicans in the House and Senate could end this madness today
January 30, 2026 at 3:22 PM
reminder that a small handful of Republicans in the House and Senate could end this madness today
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Happy to have another excuse to write about Final Fantasy 11, which recently broke in the exact right way to force its Games Masters into doing something extremely funny:
After a server glitch, Final Fantasy 11 is dispatching Game Masters to manually assassinate bugged monsters just so the game knows they're really dead: 'God personally stepping in to correct the world...
Sometimes there's only one way to be sure.
www.pcgamer.com
January 29, 2026 at 7:25 PM
Happy to have another excuse to write about Final Fantasy 11, which recently broke in the exact right way to force its Games Masters into doing something extremely funny:
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The purpose of the Bill of Rights was/is to restrain the Government, not protect it
January 18, 2026 at 5:45 AM
The purpose of the Bill of Rights was/is to restrain the Government, not protect it
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a very happy Falling Angel/Rising Ape day to you all
for my money the single best passage in all of Discworld, and one of the finest passages in the history of literature
for my money the single best passage in all of Discworld, and one of the finest passages in the history of literature
December 25, 2025 at 6:02 PM
a very happy Falling Angel/Rising Ape day to you all
for my money the single best passage in all of Discworld, and one of the finest passages in the history of literature
for my money the single best passage in all of Discworld, and one of the finest passages in the history of literature
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Discworld QOTD, from Hogfather
December 25, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Discworld QOTD, from Hogfather
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No one’s rich like Gaston
That’s the pitch for “Gaston”
No one’s complex and tragic yet kitsch like Gaston
He’s a circle that begs to be squared
It’s a tentpole, a four-quadrant hit
Yes his backstory’s moving and layered
And it’s starring a CGI de-aged Brad Pitt
That’s the pitch for “Gaston”
No one’s complex and tragic yet kitsch like Gaston
He’s a circle that begs to be squared
It’s a tentpole, a four-quadrant hit
Yes his backstory’s moving and layered
And it’s starring a CGI de-aged Brad Pitt
December 16, 2025 at 1:53 AM
No one’s rich like Gaston
That’s the pitch for “Gaston”
No one’s complex and tragic yet kitsch like Gaston
He’s a circle that begs to be squared
It’s a tentpole, a four-quadrant hit
Yes his backstory’s moving and layered
And it’s starring a CGI de-aged Brad Pitt
That’s the pitch for “Gaston”
No one’s complex and tragic yet kitsch like Gaston
He’s a circle that begs to be squared
It’s a tentpole, a four-quadrant hit
Yes his backstory’s moving and layered
And it’s starring a CGI de-aged Brad Pitt
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Io beauty shot.
Taken by the Juno spacecraft on 3 February 2024.
The right-hand hemisphere is illuminated by the Sun.
On the left, the night side isn't totally dark because of Jupitershine.
Image credit: NASA/SwRI/MSSS
Taken by the Juno spacecraft on 3 February 2024.
The right-hand hemisphere is illuminated by the Sun.
On the left, the night side isn't totally dark because of Jupitershine.
Image credit: NASA/SwRI/MSSS
November 27, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Io beauty shot.
Taken by the Juno spacecraft on 3 February 2024.
The right-hand hemisphere is illuminated by the Sun.
On the left, the night side isn't totally dark because of Jupitershine.
Image credit: NASA/SwRI/MSSS
Taken by the Juno spacecraft on 3 February 2024.
The right-hand hemisphere is illuminated by the Sun.
On the left, the night side isn't totally dark because of Jupitershine.
Image credit: NASA/SwRI/MSSS
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TIP: Anyone who posts wild speculation as something that is “almost certainly” the case right now is ~almost certainly~ someone you should not rely on in moments where news is breaking and a story is rapidly developing.
November 26, 2025 at 9:09 PM
TIP: Anyone who posts wild speculation as something that is “almost certainly” the case right now is ~almost certainly~ someone you should not rely on in moments where news is breaking and a story is rapidly developing.
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Another species no longer on the global Endangered list:
Humpback whales (Megaptera novaeangliae).
A few decades after a Star Trek movie where the central conflict was the total extinction of the humpback, their numbers are rising fast enough to put them at "Least Concern" on the IUCN Red List.
Humpback whales (Megaptera novaeangliae).
A few decades after a Star Trek movie where the central conflict was the total extinction of the humpback, their numbers are rising fast enough to put them at "Least Concern" on the IUCN Red List.
a man with a mustache says there be whales here in a dark room
Alt: Scotty from Star Trek Original Series (played by Jimmy Doohan) says there be whales here in a Klingon vessel's cargo hold.
media.tenor.com
November 9, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Another species no longer on the global Endangered list:
Humpback whales (Megaptera novaeangliae).
A few decades after a Star Trek movie where the central conflict was the total extinction of the humpback, their numbers are rising fast enough to put them at "Least Concern" on the IUCN Red List.
Humpback whales (Megaptera novaeangliae).
A few decades after a Star Trek movie where the central conflict was the total extinction of the humpback, their numbers are rising fast enough to put them at "Least Concern" on the IUCN Red List.
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Retired Army Sgt. Brian Wofford spoke to me this morning at the Oklahoma City #NoKings protest. Didn’t expect him to be carrying his DD214 so I asked some warmup questions like when he got out and whether his injury was service-related.
He paused while describing the car bomb in Iraq to say this:
He paused while describing the car bomb in Iraq to say this:
October 19, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Retired Army Sgt. Brian Wofford spoke to me this morning at the Oklahoma City #NoKings protest. Didn’t expect him to be carrying his DD214 so I asked some warmup questions like when he got out and whether his injury was service-related.
He paused while describing the car bomb in Iraq to say this:
He paused while describing the car bomb in Iraq to say this:
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Omg, the solution to CIA's Kryptos being discovered by someone becoming a subject matter expert, going on location, and finding the plaintext sitting in a vault several miles away is the absolute *perfect* ending to Kryptos. You couldn't write it. Just absolutely A+ www.nytimes.com/2025/10/16/s...
A C.I.A. Secret Kept for 35 Years Is Found in the Smithsonian’s Vault
www.nytimes.com
October 17, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Omg, the solution to CIA's Kryptos being discovered by someone becoming a subject matter expert, going on location, and finding the plaintext sitting in a vault several miles away is the absolute *perfect* ending to Kryptos. You couldn't write it. Just absolutely A+ www.nytimes.com/2025/10/16/s...
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One of my favorite anecdotes from THE PREHISTORY OF THE FAR SIDE: "That doesn't sound like the Jane Goodall we know."
October 1, 2025 at 6:13 PM
One of my favorite anecdotes from THE PREHISTORY OF THE FAR SIDE: "That doesn't sound like the Jane Goodall we know."
"The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?"
September 18, 2025 at 3:50 AM
"The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?"
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