hanging a dreamcatcher from the rearview so next time i fall asleep at the wheel i don't have any nightmares

I wish I could drop you into my mouth and crunch you up right now

Siri most difficult to digest foods near me sort by price highest to lowest

i'm defending my constitutional right to a fuck ass fit

just easily skittered away from a potential threat

putting soap on my tacos because it tastes like cilantro to me

i hate working out because it makes me feel great, the sun shine brighter, etc

i have this incurable condition where i really like it when people are nice to me

i’m so sleepy all the time. on account of the curse

strategy roguelike about going over Niagara falls in a barrel

i was born when someone cracked open a geode and found me fully grown inside. no idea how long i was in there

hey don’t be so sad the sunset is beautiful every night. we even get to see the moon

space and time are the only things keeping us together. but they’re also the only things keeping us apart. so what the fuck

i think every major city should widen its entire street grid so that every street is about 1400 feet wide, and then have one really huge, really fast car that everyone rides around in. anyone who is caught walking would be arrested and sent to mine the coal required by the huge car

father son and holy gost

It’s illegal to give coal to naughty kids as a stocking stuffer. Now you have to give them an offshore wind turbine

oxygen is def one of my top three fav things to inhale

siri . vibe check me