Matt Schwartz
@shocklines.bsky.social
Book industry by day, queer tattooed horror-movie-loving, board-game-playing guy by night. He/him
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
Secretary Pete Hegseth, a Princeton graduate, was unable to comprehend that photographs create mirror images of their subjects. Here's why affirmative action has lowered the standards of Ivy League admissions.
November 26, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Secretary Pete Hegseth, a Princeton graduate, was unable to comprehend that photographs create mirror images of their subjects. Here's why affirmative action has lowered the standards of Ivy League admissions.
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
Pediatricians say vaccines do not cause autism. A bear-eating heroin addict who fantasizes about sucking his own semen out of his lovers' orifices says they do. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.
November 26, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Pediatricians say vaccines do not cause autism. A bear-eating heroin addict who fantasizes about sucking his own semen out of his lovers' orifices says they do. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.
People are fucking disgusting. I hope there's a special level of hell for guards like these that torture inmates, let alone disabled ones.
This is how disabled & marginalized inmates are treated in jail.
Videos from the Rankin County jail show Larry Buckhalter being electrocuted & then instructed to wish a Happy Birthday to the former head of the jail.
Racism & ableism are a horrific combination.
Videos from the Rankin County jail show Larry Buckhalter being electrocuted & then instructed to wish a Happy Birthday to the former head of the jail.
Racism & ableism are a horrific combination.
November 21, 2025 at 8:32 PM
People are fucking disgusting. I hope there's a special level of hell for guards like these that torture inmates, let alone disabled ones.
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
Zohran Mamdani doesn’t make me, an American Jew, feel unsafe.
Having the Coast Guard, which falls under the Department of Homeland Security, decide that a swastika isn’t really a symbol of hate? That makes me, an American Jew, feel pretty damn unsafe.
Having the Coast Guard, which falls under the Department of Homeland Security, decide that a swastika isn’t really a symbol of hate? That makes me, an American Jew, feel pretty damn unsafe.
November 21, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Zohran Mamdani doesn’t make me, an American Jew, feel unsafe.
Having the Coast Guard, which falls under the Department of Homeland Security, decide that a swastika isn’t really a symbol of hate? That makes me, an American Jew, feel pretty damn unsafe.
Having the Coast Guard, which falls under the Department of Homeland Security, decide that a swastika isn’t really a symbol of hate? That makes me, an American Jew, feel pretty damn unsafe.
This from the idiot who has suggested vaccines cause autism. So if you think HE thinks you should be rewarded to take steps for making yourself healthier -- you're wrong. He just wants poor people to die.
Markwayne Mullin: "Reward people for being healthy. Think about this. Healthcare is the only industry that you're not rewarded for taking care of your responsibility. If you think about homeowners insurance, if you're within 500 feet of a fire hydrant, your insurance goes down."
November 19, 2025 at 4:19 PM
This from the idiot who has suggested vaccines cause autism. So if you think HE thinks you should be rewarded to take steps for making yourself healthier -- you're wrong. He just wants poor people to die.
To be fair, it's always embarrassing to be asked why you had someone tortured and dismembered because he said a mean thing.
Trump suggests Khashoggi had it coming: "You're mentioning someone that was extremely controversial. A lot of people didn't like that gentleman that you're talking about. Whether you like him or didn't like him, things happen. But he knew nothing about it. You don't have to embarrass our guest."
November 18, 2025 at 6:02 PM
To be fair, it's always embarrassing to be asked why you had someone tortured and dismembered because he said a mean thing.
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen.
Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.
Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.
November 16, 2025 at 11:43 PM
NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen.
Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.
Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.
A rare weakness? This is literally a president who has a nickname about him reversing course and backing down. Do better @cnn.com
www.cnn.com/2025/11/17/p...
www.cnn.com/2025/11/17/p...
Analysis: Trump’s Epstein files capitulation betrays a rare weakness | CNN Politics
The Jeffrey Epstein files saga is far from over, even after President Donald Trump suddenly reversed himself Sunday night and told Republicans to vote for releasing them.
www.cnn.com
November 17, 2025 at 6:42 PM
A rare weakness? This is literally a president who has a nickname about him reversing course and backing down. Do better @cnn.com
www.cnn.com/2025/11/17/p...
www.cnn.com/2025/11/17/p...
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
The Bari Weiss Newsmaxification of @CBSNews is a sight to behold, and marg brennan seems content to go right along with it
November 17, 2025 at 4:53 AM
The Bari Weiss Newsmaxification of @CBSNews is a sight to behold, and marg brennan seems content to go right along with it
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
It’s about the color of their skin
It's a revealing moment...
J.D. Vance welcomes a two-legged robot helping on the job site. But if that helper is a person named Jose, he calls it a threat. Same tasks, same productivity boost.
The inconsistency reveals this isn’t about economics.
J.D. Vance welcomes a two-legged robot helping on the job site. But if that helper is a person named Jose, he calls it a threat. Same tasks, same productivity boost.
The inconsistency reveals this isn’t about economics.
November 17, 2025 at 3:14 PM
It’s about the color of their skin
Hey, New York Times, how about we not refer to claims of statutory rape of this homeless teen as [checks notes]..."interactions with men."
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/13/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/13/u...
In Matt Gaetz Scandal, Circumstances Left Teen Vulnerable to Exploitation
www.nytimes.com
November 14, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Hey, New York Times, how about we not refer to claims of statutory rape of this homeless teen as [checks notes]..."interactions with men."
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/13/u...
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/13/u...
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
Then you pretty much have to resign. Guaranteeing safety is the job.
November 11, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Then you pretty much have to resign. Guaranteeing safety is the job.
We're about one minute away from humanity reaching levels of mindlessness best illustrated in the movie Wall-E.
www.newsweek.com/breaking-rus...
www.newsweek.com/breaking-rus...
The No. 1 country song in America is AI-generated
Breaking Rust, an AI-generated artist, currently has the No. 1 song on Billboard’s "Country Digital Song Sales" chart.
www.newsweek.com
November 11, 2025 at 3:46 PM
We're about one minute away from humanity reaching levels of mindlessness best illustrated in the movie Wall-E.
www.newsweek.com/breaking-rus...
www.newsweek.com/breaking-rus...
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
The Trump administration is suing so they don’t have to pay for food stamps. Happy almost thanksgiving!
November 7, 2025 at 3:17 PM
The Trump administration is suing so they don’t have to pay for food stamps. Happy almost thanksgiving!
FOR FUCK'S SAKE, INSTEAD PLEASE ADOPT SOME DOG THAT'S ABOUT TO BE PUT DOWN.
(Costs for dog cloning from ViaGen are $50,000).
people.com/tom-brady-cl...
(Costs for dog cloning from ViaGen are $50,000).
people.com/tom-brady-cl...
Tom Brady Reveals His Dog Junie Was Cloned from Beloved Pet Lua, Who Died in 2023
Tom Brady's dog Junie is a clone of his dog Lua, who died in 2023, he announced Nov. 4, 2025. Colossal Biosciences, which Brady is an investor in, cloned the pit bull mix using a blood sample collecte...
people.com
November 4, 2025 at 9:12 PM
FOR FUCK'S SAKE, INSTEAD PLEASE ADOPT SOME DOG THAT'S ABOUT TO BE PUT DOWN.
(Costs for dog cloning from ViaGen are $50,000).
people.com/tom-brady-cl...
(Costs for dog cloning from ViaGen are $50,000).
people.com/tom-brady-cl...
Buh-bye.
now that's what I call a Mamdani endorsement. Don't threaten New Yorkers with a good time, Dave. www.yahoo.com/news/article...
Dave Portnoy Threatens To Move Barstool Sports Out of New York City If Zohran Mamdani Becomes Mayor: ‘I Hate This Guy So Much’
Portnoy, 48, admitted that he has already asked his "finance guy" to begin looking at potential office spaces outside of the city.
www.yahoo.com
November 4, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Buh-bye.
Gosh, that sounds just awful.
Did I say awful? I meant it sounds like an actual fucking democracy where constituents' needs and rights are prioritized.
Did I say awful? I meant it sounds like an actual fucking democracy where constituents' needs and rights are prioritized.
Mike Johnson: "Imagine a scenario where they were in charge and they didn't have the filibuster. We would have nationalized elections, they would infringe on our 2A rights, they'd pack the Supreme Court, and they'd make Puerto Rico and DC states."
November 4, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Gosh, that sounds just awful.
Did I say awful? I meant it sounds like an actual fucking democracy where constituents' needs and rights are prioritized.
Did I say awful? I meant it sounds like an actual fucking democracy where constituents' needs and rights are prioritized.
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
Elon Musk Launches Grokipedia To Compete With Wikipedia
https://theonion.com/elon-musk-launches-grokipedia-to-compete-with-wikipedia/
https://theonion.com/elon-musk-launches-grokipedia-to-compete-with-wikipedia/
November 1, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Elon Musk Launches Grokipedia To Compete With Wikipedia
https://theonion.com/elon-musk-launches-grokipedia-to-compete-with-wikipedia/
https://theonion.com/elon-musk-launches-grokipedia-to-compete-with-wikipedia/
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check
November 3, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
You laugh, but this is how the exododus went extinct
November 3, 2025 at 3:36 PM
You laugh, but this is how the exododus went extinct
New Onion article dropped. Oh, wait...
October 31, 2025 at 8:52 PM
New Onion article dropped. Oh, wait...
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
I like how Zohran Mamdani scandals are like "He called his old cousin his aunt one time" and Andrew Cuomo scandals are like "He sexually assaulted 13 women."
October 28, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I like how Zohran Mamdani scandals are like "He called his old cousin his aunt one time" and Andrew Cuomo scandals are like "He sexually assaulted 13 women."
I wasn't aware MTV aired anything BESIDES Ridiculousness.
MTV has cancelled "Ridiculousness" after 14 years and 46 seasons.
Read more here: variety.com/2025/tv/news...
Read more here: variety.com/2025/tv/news...
October 31, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I wasn't aware MTV aired anything BESIDES Ridiculousness.
I mean, sure Mike Johnson is obviously a liar and a horrible excuse for a human being. But I think I've underestimated just how actually stupid he is as well.
Mike Johnson: "They want to give illegal benefits -- or, benefits back to illegal aliens."
October 31, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I mean, sure Mike Johnson is obviously a liar and a horrible excuse for a human being. But I think I've underestimated just how actually stupid he is as well.
Reposted by Matt Schwartz
I would rather live next door to someone who speaks another language than live next door to someone who doesn’t want to live near people who speak other languages. I know nothing about Person A but I know person B is a shitbird.
Vance says it is "totally reasonable and acceptable" for people to not want to live next door to people who speak a different language than they do
October 29, 2025 at 5:01 PM
I would rather live next door to someone who speaks another language than live next door to someone who doesn’t want to live near people who speak other languages. I know nothing about Person A but I know person B is a shitbird.