Schwarziest (fuck Trump edition)
@schwarziest.bsky.social
I spew nonsense about cats, sports (especially #WNBA, #Skytown, #Cubs, #Illini), music, how much I hate maga, and random crap.
"Truth be told, I want to live my life with the volume full."
"Truth be told, I want to live my life with the volume full."
Pinned
Made this years ago. Never imagined it would be relevant again for another 4 years.
This one hits for real.
Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life https://theonion.com/man-getting-high-and-eating-taco-bell-thousands-of-mile-1845721340/
November 27, 2025 at 4:26 PM
This one hits for real.
A cat-asstrophie waiting to happen.
November 27, 2025 at 6:13 AM
A cat-asstrophie waiting to happen.
"I Am One" - Smashing Pumpkins (Gish)
"Honey White" - Morphine (Yes)
"Lucky Star" - Madonna (s-t)
"Last Exit" - Pearl Jam (Vitalogy)
"Rusty Cage" - Soundgarden (Badmotorfinger)
(This is just 5 off the top of my head.)
"Honey White" - Morphine (Yes)
"Lucky Star" - Madonna (s-t)
"Last Exit" - Pearl Jam (Vitalogy)
"Rusty Cage" - Soundgarden (Badmotorfinger)
(This is just 5 off the top of my head.)
November 27, 2025 at 5:37 AM
"I Am One" - Smashing Pumpkins (Gish)
"Honey White" - Morphine (Yes)
"Lucky Star" - Madonna (s-t)
"Last Exit" - Pearl Jam (Vitalogy)
"Rusty Cage" - Soundgarden (Badmotorfinger)
(This is just 5 off the top of my head.)
"Honey White" - Morphine (Yes)
"Lucky Star" - Madonna (s-t)
"Last Exit" - Pearl Jam (Vitalogy)
"Rusty Cage" - Soundgarden (Badmotorfinger)
(This is just 5 off the top of my head.)
Years ago on Thanksgiving at a lake house, every time my conservative idiot family member started spewing political nonsense, I would point out the window and say, "Is that a deer?!" Everyone would stop to look outside, and the family idiot would lose her train of thought. Worked like a charm.
November 27, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Years ago on Thanksgiving at a lake house, every time my conservative idiot family member started spewing political nonsense, I would point out the window and say, "Is that a deer?!" Everyone would stop to look outside, and the family idiot would lose her train of thought. Worked like a charm.
I fell hard today on a faux wood floor right on my already damaged and reconstructed right knee. This is not good and an appointment with my surgeon may be in order.
November 27, 2025 at 2:08 AM
I fell hard today on a faux wood floor right on my already damaged and reconstructed right knee. This is not good and an appointment with my surgeon may be in order.
I worked 11 hours today so I earned this Blackout Wednesday.
November 27, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I worked 11 hours today so I earned this Blackout Wednesday.
Help! I have "Dick in a Box" stuck in my head.
Yes, I have dick for brains.
Yes, I have dick for brains.
November 26, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Help! I have "Dick in a Box" stuck in my head.
Yes, I have dick for brains.
Yes, I have dick for brains.
Once again, my family is failing Thanksgiving, so I'll be spending it on my couch, then at my local bar with friends. Never change, Schwarz family.
November 26, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Once again, my family is failing Thanksgiving, so I'll be spending it on my couch, then at my local bar with friends. Never change, Schwarz family.
The louder your vehicle, the smaller your penis. It's just science.
November 25, 2025 at 8:17 AM
The louder your vehicle, the smaller your penis. It's just science.
Okay, no more Nikes for me (I don't own any Nike stuff anyway, but still...)
Phil Knight is almost single handedly funding the OR GOP, one of the more extreme state GOPs in the country. Keep that in mind next time you’re in the market for sportswear or sneakers. www.oregonlive.com/politics/202...
Nike co-founder Phil Knight makes record-setting donation to help elect Republicans
It is the single largest donation Knight has made to an Oregon candidate or political action committee.
www.oregonlive.com
November 25, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Okay, no more Nikes for me (I don't own any Nike stuff anyway, but still...)
TIL that one of our assistants is a dyed in the wool lifelong Bears fan, and that explains why until recently she always seemed unhappy.
November 25, 2025 at 4:37 AM
TIL that one of our assistants is a dyed in the wool lifelong Bears fan, and that explains why until recently she always seemed unhappy.
I know we've been here for a while, but can we please work our magic leftist powers of cancelation on Bari Weiss now?
"elevate charismatic figures such as Alan Dershowitz"
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November 25, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I know we've been here for a while, but can we please work our magic leftist powers of cancelation on Bari Weiss now?
No, *you're* ordering a pizza at 10:15 p.m. on a Monday.
November 25, 2025 at 4:14 AM
No, *you're* ordering a pizza at 10:15 p.m. on a Monday.
I need a personal assistant just to review my medical bills against my EOBs to confirm what my doctors claim I owe, so I can not pay them because I'm fucking broke. Healthcare in the US is utterly exhausting.
November 25, 2025 at 4:02 AM
I need a personal assistant just to review my medical bills against my EOBs to confirm what my doctors claim I owe, so I can not pay them because I'm fucking broke. Healthcare in the US is utterly exhausting.
Someone in this bar skipped my songs to play Chris fucking Brown and if you know me at all you know how angry that has made me.
November 25, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Someone in this bar skipped my songs to play Chris fucking Brown and if you know me at all you know how angry that has made me.
I appreciate that by just drinking Hopewell beer at my favorite bar, I can contribute to @onetailatatime.bsky.social. It's as easy a decision as breathing.
November 25, 2025 at 3:31 AM
I appreciate that by just drinking Hopewell beer at my favorite bar, I can contribute to @onetailatatime.bsky.social. It's as easy a decision as breathing.
The #Illini won by 14 and I am all
a man sitting at a desk with his arms crossed
Alt: Gif of Stanley from the Office sitting at a desk with his arms crossed, looking upset
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 2:51 AM
The #Illini won by 14 and I am all
Reposted by Schwarziest (fuck Trump edition)
I love Christmas and normally I'd be getting so excited right about now, but this year I'm a little down because it's our first holiday since we lost Fergus. I'm hoping I can spread some cheer and regain a little spirit myself by raising some funds for our local shelter! givebutter.com/n5l31M
Molly's Holiday Fundraiser 2025
Make Winter Merry and Bright in Honor of Fergus
givebutter.com
November 25, 2025 at 2:09 AM
I love Christmas and normally I'd be getting so excited right about now, but this year I'm a little down because it's our first holiday since we lost Fergus. I'm hoping I can spread some cheer and regain a little spirit myself by raising some funds for our local shelter! givebutter.com/n5l31M
"I got a woman stay drunk all the time." And you say that like it's a bad thing!
November 25, 2025 at 2:04 AM
"I got a woman stay drunk all the time." And you say that like it's a bad thing!
Or as I call it, a day that ends in Y.
For one moment, all was right with the world.
November 25, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Or as I call it, a day that ends in Y.
Adios, green bean casserole.
with charity and goodwill, i must here part ways with rolls.
November 25, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Adios, green bean casserole.
Grind
Marriage
Travels
Marriage
Travels
the first 3 words you see will define your 2026 😭
Money
New car
Pussy
Money
New car
Pussy
November 25, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Grind
Marriage
Travels
Marriage
Travels