Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
(Winston Churchill voice): BIRD BOX BARCELONA
July 13, 2023 at 5:54 PM
(Winston Churchill voice): BIRD BOX BARCELONA
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
UN-humble brag — the MINOR THREATS trade paperback has surpassed WATCHMEN. Please don’t hex us, Alan Moore!
July 17, 2023 at 8:46 PM
UN-humble brag — the MINOR THREATS trade paperback has surpassed WATCHMEN. Please don’t hex us, Alan Moore!
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
Jaded Twitter user who rediscovers his love of posting on a smaller website, this is like a fucking Hallmark movie over here
July 19, 2023 at 10:36 PM
Jaded Twitter user who rediscovers his love of posting on a smaller website, this is like a fucking Hallmark movie over here
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
We made the Top 10 at #SDCC this year! Can’t wait to see you guys tomorrow!
10 things to do at Comic-Con now that the stars are on strike
Comic-Con was an unfortunate casualty of the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. But even without the Hall H main events, there's still plenty to enjoy in San Diego
www.avclub.com
July 19, 2023 at 11:27 PM
We made the Top 10 at #SDCC this year! Can’t wait to see you guys tomorrow!
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
A group of Indiana Joneses is called a “pillage.”
July 21, 2023 at 9:16 PM
A group of Indiana Joneses is called a “pillage.”
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
#SDCC was very, very good.
July 21, 2023 at 11:53 PM
#SDCC was very, very good.
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
Next three PATTON OSWALT & FRIENDS shows announced at The Largo! August 13th! September 17th! October 15th! August is almost SOLD OUT. See you there?
July 26, 2023 at 2:39 AM
Next three PATTON OSWALT & FRIENDS shows announced at The Largo! August 13th! September 17th! October 15th! August is almost SOLD OUT. See you there?
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
picard: initiate self-destruct sequence
computer: enter password
picard: P!caRd420
computer: enter password
picard: P!caRd420
July 26, 2023 at 4:35 PM
picard: initiate self-destruct sequence
computer: enter password
picard: P!caRd420
computer: enter password
picard: P!caRd420
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
Ratatouille but it's that guy at Starbucks with the iguana on his shoulder and the iguana is making him write Rango fan fiction
July 25, 2023 at 6:28 PM
Ratatouille but it's that guy at Starbucks with the iguana on his shoulder and the iguana is making him write Rango fan fiction
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
31 years ago this extraordinary woman burned her career and life to the ground to speak out against a horrific, massive crime against children. And she was a hell of an artist. A blazing soul. RIP
July 26, 2023 at 6:07 PM
31 years ago this extraordinary woman burned her career and life to the ground to speak out against a horrific, massive crime against children. And she was a hell of an artist. A blazing soul. RIP
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
Have you considered Blur's "Charmless Man" as your campaign song
July 29, 2023 at 6:10 PM
Have you considered Blur's "Charmless Man" as your campaign song
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
This is the new that
July 29, 2023 at 5:52 PM
This is the new that
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
(housing a bag of Doritos) Life’s weird I guess
why is it called eggplant if it's:
1. not an egg
2. not a plant
1. not an egg
2. not a plant
July 29, 2023 at 6:43 PM
(housing a bag of Doritos) Life’s weird I guess
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
I live in the hearts of mankind
Thought of @pattonoswalt.bsky.social last night as I heaped my air fried tater tots, popcorn chicken, cheese and gravy poutine into a single bowl which I then ate like death row inmate on suicide watch.
July 29, 2023 at 6:44 PM
I live in the hearts of mankind
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
There's always at least a 30% chance of finding out that your favorite science fun fact is something first discovered by Dr. Otto Von Racism during an attempt to make children more flammable.
July 29, 2023 at 3:17 PM
There's always at least a 30% chance of finding out that your favorite science fun fact is something first discovered by Dr. Otto Von Racism during an attempt to make children more flammable.
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
Art credit: Pan Cooke (@TheFakePan on Instagram)
July 31, 2023 at 3:36 AM
Art credit: Pan Cooke (@TheFakePan on Instagram)
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
On my birthday this year Paul Reubens sent me — and he did this ALL day — GIFs of people getting hit in the face with cake. I miss you, Paul.
July 31, 2023 at 5:42 PM
On my birthday this year Paul Reubens sent me — and he did this ALL day — GIFs of people getting hit in the face with cake. I miss you, Paul.
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
It's gotta be so demoralizing working for the New York Times. You spend days diligently re-reporting a week-old regionally published article you're pretending doesn't already exist only to open the op-ed section and see "Mongrel Sterilization Is in the Constitution" by Trevor M. Swastika.
August 5, 2023 at 6:57 PM
It's gotta be so demoralizing working for the New York Times. You spend days diligently re-reporting a week-old regionally published article you're pretending doesn't already exist only to open the op-ed section and see "Mongrel Sterilization Is in the Constitution" by Trevor M. Swastika.
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
[going through the desert]
ME: what’s your name?
HORSE: don’t have one
ME: I’m gonna call you Clippy Cloppy
HORSE: you will not
ME: what’s your name?
HORSE: don’t have one
ME: I’m gonna call you Clippy Cloppy
HORSE: you will not
July 10, 2023 at 2:44 PM
[going through the desert]
ME: what’s your name?
HORSE: don’t have one
ME: I’m gonna call you Clippy Cloppy
HORSE: you will not
ME: what’s your name?
HORSE: don’t have one
ME: I’m gonna call you Clippy Cloppy
HORSE: you will not
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
God I hate being “kind of sick.”
I want one or the other — perfectly healthy, or bedridden and slowly going insane staring at the yellow wallpaper and imagining shapes moving behind it.
I want one or the other — perfectly healthy, or bedridden and slowly going insane staring at the yellow wallpaper and imagining shapes moving behind it.
August 6, 2023 at 2:24 PM
God I hate being “kind of sick.”
I want one or the other — perfectly healthy, or bedridden and slowly going insane staring at the yellow wallpaper and imagining shapes moving behind it.
I want one or the other — perfectly healthy, or bedridden and slowly going insane staring at the yellow wallpaper and imagining shapes moving behind it.
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
Reposted by PATTON OSWALT
This is some brilliant cosplay
August 7, 2023 at 6:34 PM
This is some brilliant cosplay