Mortimer Langford
@mortimerlangford.bsky.social
35 year old recovering Scorpio. Married. Author. IT guy. Father. Unwilling disciple of chaos.
He/Him
Buy my damn books:
https://amzn.to/4oOHjz2
He/Him
Buy my damn books:
https://amzn.to/4oOHjz2
I don't know about y'all, but personally, if I WASN'T a pedophilic rapist who frequented Pedo Rape Island, and I knew that all the documents, pictures, and other files on it were being released to the public, I would feel no need to redact any of it.
Because I would be INNOCENT.
Just a thought.
Because I would be INNOCENT.
Just a thought.
December 21, 2025 at 2:42 AM
I don't know about y'all, but personally, if I WASN'T a pedophilic rapist who frequented Pedo Rape Island, and I knew that all the documents, pictures, and other files on it were being released to the public, I would feel no need to redact any of it.
Because I would be INNOCENT.
Just a thought.
Because I would be INNOCENT.
Just a thought.
Too young to shine on, you crazy diamond.
Too old to mewmax.
Just the right age to be cringe.
Too old to mewmax.
Just the right age to be cringe.
December 12, 2025 at 2:50 AM
Too young to shine on, you crazy diamond.
Too old to mewmax.
Just the right age to be cringe.
Too old to mewmax.
Just the right age to be cringe.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
as someone who has defended Hillary Clinton: you really don't have to defend her anymore
December 3, 2025 at 8:54 PM
as someone who has defended Hillary Clinton: you really don't have to defend her anymore
I have no clue who left the pumpkin pie on our step while my wife and I were out of town, but...
Thank you. 🖤
Thank you. 🖤
December 3, 2025 at 4:15 AM
I have no clue who left the pumpkin pie on our step while my wife and I were out of town, but...
Thank you. 🖤
Thank you. 🖤
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
You mean the 10 top wealth hoarding creeps who are destroying everything they touch. We should stop acting like accumulating wealth is 1. a good accomplishment 2. not destructive as fuck to the rest of us.
These are the 10 richest people in the world right now.
The Top 10 Richest People In The World | December 2025
There’s a new No. 2 on Forbes’ ranking of the world’s wealthiest people.
www.forbes.com
December 2, 2025 at 11:49 PM
You mean the 10 top wealth hoarding creeps who are destroying everything they touch. We should stop acting like accumulating wealth is 1. a good accomplishment 2. not destructive as fuck to the rest of us.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
oh right i can just smoke a ton of weed and just not think about how i have no future or reason to live, an equal substitute for fulfillment and purpose of life
November 25, 2025 at 11:07 PM
oh right i can just smoke a ton of weed and just not think about how i have no future or reason to live, an equal substitute for fulfillment and purpose of life
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
I really wish we'd stop calling them climate "skeptics" or "vaccine skeptics", if you jump off a cliff we don't call you a "gravity skeptic"
November 25, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I really wish we'd stop calling them climate "skeptics" or "vaccine skeptics", if you jump off a cliff we don't call you a "gravity skeptic"
As a 40K fan, I find it hilarious when the right does stuff like this.
As someone partially in the know as to the *lore* of 40K, I am simultaneously disgusted and horrified when the right does stuff like this.
As someone partially in the know as to the *lore* of 40K, I am simultaneously disgusted and horrified when the right does stuff like this.
truly a great time to have just recorded a pilot episode about Warhammer 40,000 memes bleeding into mainstream politics with @jkass99.bsky.social
November 25, 2025 at 10:44 PM
As a 40K fan, I find it hilarious when the right does stuff like this.
As someone partially in the know as to the *lore* of 40K, I am simultaneously disgusted and horrified when the right does stuff like this.
As someone partially in the know as to the *lore* of 40K, I am simultaneously disgusted and horrified when the right does stuff like this.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
What a bizarre way to frame being anti illegal theft and sale of land and using NYC as a auction block for blood drenched sociopaths.
Zohran Mamdani chastised a Manhattan synagogue that hosted an event promoting migration to Israel and settlements in occupied territories. His stance further tested his strained relationship with pro-Israel Jews in New York.
Mamdani Response to Protest Inflames Tensions with Jewish Leaders
The mayor-elect chastised a synagogue that hosted an event promoting migration to Israel and settlements in occupied territories. His stance further tested his strained relationship with pro-Israel Jews.
nyti.ms
November 25, 2025 at 1:36 PM
What a bizarre way to frame being anti illegal theft and sale of land and using NYC as a auction block for blood drenched sociopaths.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
A whole bunch of people younger than me got elected last night and I am totally good with that
November 5, 2025 at 8:19 PM
A whole bunch of people younger than me got elected last night and I am totally good with that
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
if elected President i will not dismantle our nuclear arsenal because that is apparently impossible. but i will order the creation of a national narcotics stockpile to ensure enough hard drugs for a solid bender get distributed to every American home in less than 30 minutes
November 5, 2025 at 5:01 AM
if elected President i will not dismantle our nuclear arsenal because that is apparently impossible. but i will order the creation of a national narcotics stockpile to ensure enough hard drugs for a solid bender get distributed to every American home in less than 30 minutes
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and circle back to a point I made earlier about our recent acquisitions.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and please advise.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and thank you for your attention to this matter.
November 3, 2025 at 7:00 PM
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and circle back to a point I made earlier about our recent acquisitions.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Actually, seeing a man of color, getting scared, and calling The Police, is pretty typical racist behavior
sting? fucking STING? who in 2025 wants to see solo sting? this has to be a joke
www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...
www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...
NFL Succumbs To Bad Bunny Criticism And Announces Special Super Bowl Concert With Sting
In an unexpected bid to calm the frenzy over Bad Bunny headlining the 2026 Super Bowl show, the NFL has introduced a special feature.
www.yahoo.com
October 30, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Actually, seeing a man of color, getting scared, and calling The Police, is pretty typical racist behavior
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
"Ribbit"?
October 23, 2025 at 5:23 PM
"Ribbit"?
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
October 20, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Home Depot Introduces New 12-Foot-Tall Willem Dafoe https://theonion.com/home-depot-introduces-new-12-foot-tall-willem-dafoe/
October 20, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Home Depot Introduces New 12-Foot-Tall Willem Dafoe https://theonion.com/home-depot-introduces-new-12-foot-tall-willem-dafoe/
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Mike Johnson’s “Hate Rally.”
October 18, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Mike Johnson’s “Hate Rally.”
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Beyond the costumes at No Kings, Democratic leadership may want to check the signs to understand the vibe of their base right now (hint: it’s not health care)
October 18, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Beyond the costumes at No Kings, Democratic leadership may want to check the signs to understand the vibe of their base right now (hint: it’s not health care)
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
breaking news: fork found in kitchen
Faulty engineering led to the implosion of an experimental submersible that killed five people on the way to the wreck of the Titanic, the NTSB concludes in a report.
Faulty engineering led to implosion of Titan submersible headed to Titanic wreckage, NTSB finds
The NTSB's report said OceanGate, the owner of the Titan, failed to adequately test the submersible and was unaware of its true durability.
nbcnews.to
October 16, 2025 at 1:38 PM
breaking news: fork found in kitchen
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
If Pedro Pascal played Gomez Addams they'd have to replace all the seats in the theater
October 14, 2025 at 12:51 AM
If Pedro Pascal played Gomez Addams they'd have to replace all the seats in the theater
For those of you going "Yeah, I love my partner, but are we ready for the next step?", I would like to lovingly try cautiously inform you if the kind of conversations you and your beloved can look forward to with concerning increased regularity.
My husband talking to our cat: Stop chewing on that. You have food. You're not starved. You are not a plastic consuming parasite.
Me: That last one is up for debate.
Husband: *sigh*
Me: That last one is up for debate.
Husband: *sigh*
October 13, 2025 at 3:31 PM
For those of you going "Yeah, I love my partner, but are we ready for the next step?", I would like to lovingly try cautiously inform you if the kind of conversations you and your beloved can look forward to with concerning increased regularity.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
🗣️📣LISTEN UP TANKIES, would YOU🫵 be upset if entire neighborhoods filled with children got burned to the ground?? 😱🔥👶🔥
ok now change 'neighborhoods' to 'data centers' & 'children' to 'GPUs' 💡😎
🚨do YOU🫵 still care or r u anti-ai antifa bigot?? 🤔that's what i thot 🙄so much 4 teh tolerant woke left 🎯🤖
ok now change 'neighborhoods' to 'data centers' & 'children' to 'GPUs' 💡😎
🚨do YOU🫵 still care or r u anti-ai antifa bigot?? 🤔that's what i thot 🙄so much 4 teh tolerant woke left 🎯🤖
October 7, 2025 at 9:09 PM
🗣️📣LISTEN UP TANKIES, would YOU🫵 be upset if entire neighborhoods filled with children got burned to the ground?? 😱🔥👶🔥
ok now change 'neighborhoods' to 'data centers' & 'children' to 'GPUs' 💡😎
🚨do YOU🫵 still care or r u anti-ai antifa bigot?? 🤔that's what i thot 🙄so much 4 teh tolerant woke left 🎯🤖
ok now change 'neighborhoods' to 'data centers' & 'children' to 'GPUs' 💡😎
🚨do YOU🫵 still care or r u anti-ai antifa bigot?? 🤔that's what i thot 🙄so much 4 teh tolerant woke left 🎯🤖
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
I think that after all of this is over we should make a national holiday of the arrests of the people defrauding the government inside of this administration. FAFO day? ... a national day of celebration... they are fooling no one.
October 7, 2025 at 9:47 PM
I think that after all of this is over we should make a national holiday of the arrests of the people defrauding the government inside of this administration. FAFO day? ... a national day of celebration... they are fooling no one.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
"AI is going to replace artists.”
Oh really? AI is going to rack up student debt and then be a disappointment to the family?
Oh really? AI is going to rack up student debt and then be a disappointment to the family?
September 23, 2025 at 11:33 AM
"AI is going to replace artists.”
Oh really? AI is going to rack up student debt and then be a disappointment to the family?
Oh really? AI is going to rack up student debt and then be a disappointment to the family?