Matt Eitner
mkeitner.bsky.social
Matt Eitner
@mkeitner.bsky.social
Reposted by Matt Eitner
November 24, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
back home for thanksgiving. excited to watch The Mentalist on my parents’ tv. the way it was meant to be viewed. parents’ tv? motion smoothing on? that’s like the 70mm of crime procedurals
November 24, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
Yesterday my partner and I counted all the ads along Chicago's Brown Line for "Friend," a company selling an AI chatbot pendant, and tallied how many of those ads were defaced.

Still working on a longer piece on this, but here's the quick and dirty: we counted 104 "Friend" ads total, 42 defaced.
November 23, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Guess who plays the Seahawks next sickos.jpg
J.J. McCarthy now ranks 851 out of 852 in EPA per Dropback among qualified passers since 2000, per Tru Media. The only player below McCarthy is JaMarcus Russell.
November 23, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
Brandon Nimmo is the first millionaire to flee Zohran Mamdani's Communist New York City
November 23, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
Once again my putrid Las Vegas Raiders have chosen to roll around in their filth
December 8, 2024 at 10:10 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
SHEDEUR SANDERS

WELCOME TO THE BROWNS HYDRA
November 23, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
November 23, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
I need that clip of Mike Macdonald NOW
November 23, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
bolsanaro reportedly upset about going to prison because it’s taking him away from his true passion, going to the hospital
November 23, 2025 at 4:32 AM
I've been Air Riders pilled
November 23, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
imagine walking down the beach and seeing jesus carrying some guy
November 22, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
Are you fucking kidding me it’s like we are living in a cartoon
November 21, 2025 at 8:33 AM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
Gameday voting on which school has the most faculty in the Epstein Files
November 22, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
November 22, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
no!! NO
The bamboo metaphor is back: Ryan Lizza has dropped Part 2.

Below are the opening paragraphs, but most of it is behind a paywall.

(My apologies in advance.)
November 22, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
This might be the single funniest thing that has happened during this incredibly cursed year
November 21, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
it really is such a damning indictment of all the odious fools and apes trump has surrounded himself that 10 minutes with a normal positive dude like mamdani de-aged trump like 10 years
November 21, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
Annoying that humanity discovered the good flavour molecule and decided to be racist and conspiratorial about it. There should be a snack brand called "MSG boys" and every snack has lots of it
November 21, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
when mayor elect mamdani meets with trump vs when mayor bowser meets with trump
November 21, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
I’m dying, he’s like hey look at us, two winners, just two guys who like winning, unlike the rest of you losers I have to see all day.
November 21, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
November 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
November 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Reposted by Matt Eitner
The Daily Mail is IN HELL
November 21, 2025 at 9:19 PM