Alan Smithee
@kane-highsinger.bsky.social
Incurable smart-ass. Incredibly masochistic sports fan. Scientist in a former life.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
The egg’s origin, literally, is: “Here is a gold statue, please stop hitting each other with wooden chairs”
my favorite thing about the Egg Bowl is that the trophy is actually supposed to be a football and not an egg (it has little laces on it) and we've just been making fun of the bad sculpting job for like 50 years
November 28, 2025 at 5:42 PM
The egg’s origin, literally, is: “Here is a gold statue, please stop hitting each other with wooden chairs”
I knew this was going to be a Lab 257/Plum Island thing before I clicked on it.
According to our FDA commissioner Lyme disease was created in a secret American government lab run by a Nazi scientist.
Normal stuff!
www.youtube.com/shorts/LvPAO...
Normal stuff!
www.youtube.com/shorts/LvPAO...
Lyme lab leak from Makary
YouTube video by Jonathan Howard
www.youtube.com
November 28, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I knew this was going to be a Lab 257/Plum Island thing before I clicked on it.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
It’s-a me, Kamario!
November 28, 2025 at 5:24 PM
It’s-a me, Kamario!
Ouch.
The guy shot two random people with a gun, I don't think you can say he wasn't assimilating into our culture
Stephen Miller is now arguing that assimilation is fundamentally impossible and that certain cultures are not compatible with Western civilization
November 28, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Ouch.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Stop sharing AI slop ragebait. I don't care what the "point" is. Take that shit back to TikTok and Facebook.
November 28, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Stop sharing AI slop ragebait. I don't care what the "point" is. Take that shit back to TikTok and Facebook.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
Best day of the year
November 28, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Best day of the year
I regret to inform you all that Thanksgiving is ending with the country's most racist uncle being up way past his bedtime.
Trump: “I will permanently pause migration from all Third World Countries … denaturalize migrants who undermine domestic tranquility, and deport any Foreign National who is a public charge, security risk, or non-compatible with Western Civilization.“
November 28, 2025 at 4:55 AM
I regret to inform you all that Thanksgiving is ending with the country's most racist uncle being up way past his bedtime.
Just under twenty bucks? Damn near giving it away.
Kraft Original Mac & Cheese Mac Friday 65" Box, 65 Count of 7.5 oz Boxes goes up on Walmart exclusive in 60 minutes (9 PM PT - $19.37) buff.ly/zdUIMSg #ad
-65" TV-sized box
-65 boxes of Mac n Cheese
-4K Noodles
-65" TV-sized box
-65 boxes of Mac n Cheese
-4K Noodles
November 28, 2025 at 4:54 AM
Just under twenty bucks? Damn near giving it away.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
There is no bottom for Trump. Or, it seems, for those who still support him.
November 28, 2025 at 4:37 AM
There is no bottom for Trump. Or, it seems, for those who still support him.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
good news everyone the Mistaken Text From Grandma Thanksgiving buddy drama is still going strong
this story delights me every year
this story delights me every year
From text to tradition: Jamal Hinton and Wanda Dench mark 10th Thanksgiving together after accidental invitation.
Arizona pair celebrates decade of friendship that started with wrong text
From text to tradition: Jamal Hinton and Wanda Dench mark 10th Thanksgiving together after accidental invitation.
www.azfamily.com
November 28, 2025 at 2:34 AM
good news everyone the Mistaken Text From Grandma Thanksgiving buddy drama is still going strong
this story delights me every year
this story delights me every year
Reposted by Alan Smithee
what i love is that in 1990 judas priest got brought to trial over the claim that subliminal messages in the recording "better by you better than me" caused two suicides and now in 2025 openai seems to be generating a suicide a week with its superliminal messages and the US government is funding it
November 27, 2025 at 8:23 AM
what i love is that in 1990 judas priest got brought to trial over the claim that subliminal messages in the recording "better by you better than me" caused two suicides and now in 2025 openai seems to be generating a suicide a week with its superliminal messages and the US government is funding it
Reposted by Alan Smithee
They'll build a statue to the first reporter who tells this old dumbass to eat shit on camera
“You’re a stupid person” — Trump lashes out at a reporter who presses him on the fact that the suspected DC shooter was actually thoroughly vetted before he was let in the US from Afghanistan
November 28, 2025 at 1:50 AM
They'll build a statue to the first reporter who tells this old dumbass to eat shit on camera
Reposted by Alan Smithee
It's not Thanksgiving until your racist Uncle says something racist.
TRUMP: If you look at Somalia, they are taking over Minnesota.
REPORTER: What do the Somalians have to do with this Afghan guy who shot the National Guard members?
TRUMP: Ah, nothing. But Somalians have caused a lot of trouble. They're ripping us off.
REPORTER: What do the Somalians have to do with this Afghan guy who shot the National Guard members?
TRUMP: Ah, nothing. But Somalians have caused a lot of trouble. They're ripping us off.
November 28, 2025 at 2:02 AM
It's not Thanksgiving until your racist Uncle says something racist.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
Looking for past Garfield Macy's balloons. Found a new reaction image
November 27, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Looking for past Garfield Macy's balloons. Found a new reaction image
Reposted by Alan Smithee
Homeland Security doesn’t grasp the fact that the first Thanksgiving was about making “room at the table” for European “invaders.”
November 27, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Homeland Security doesn’t grasp the fact that the first Thanksgiving was about making “room at the table” for European “invaders.”
Frankly, this is exactly the kind of Dad Joke a Thanksgiving deserves.
November 28, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Frankly, this is exactly the kind of Dad Joke a Thanksgiving deserves.
Nazi Tuck
Nazi Tuck
Nazi Tuck
FUUUUUUCK OFF!!!
Nazi Tuck
Nazi Tuck
FUUUUUUCK OFF!!!
On today's Tucker Carlson show, he makes clear that he believes that the US fought on the wrong side in World War II. In particular he says that the UK was mistaken to declare war on Germany just because it invaded Poland. And he has lots of sympathy for Herr Hitler throughout.
Tucker Puts Piers Morgan’s Views on Free Speech to the Ultimate Test
YouTube video by Tucker Carlson
youtu.be
November 27, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Nazi Tuck
Nazi Tuck
Nazi Tuck
FUUUUUUCK OFF!!!
Nazi Tuck
Nazi Tuck
FUUUUUUCK OFF!!!
Reposted by Alan Smithee
And now we return to our regularly scheduled holiday programming.
November 27, 2025 at 9:45 PM
And now we return to our regularly scheduled holiday programming.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
November 26, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Reposted by Alan Smithee
Every year I see this remix with just men’s sports, so… Happy Thanksgiving from Good Game with Sarah Spain! 🫘🫛🥔🍅
P.S. Check out the editing skills on yer girl. Watch out world, I’m starting to figure out this whole content creator thing…
P.S. Check out the editing skills on yer girl. Watch out world, I’m starting to figure out this whole content creator thing…
November 26, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Every year I see this remix with just men’s sports, so… Happy Thanksgiving from Good Game with Sarah Spain! 🫘🫛🥔🍅
P.S. Check out the editing skills on yer girl. Watch out world, I’m starting to figure out this whole content creator thing…
P.S. Check out the editing skills on yer girl. Watch out world, I’m starting to figure out this whole content creator thing…
You'd be hard pressed to find a crowd more receptive to an "alternate facts" version of history than that one.
VP JD Vance stood before a crowd and tried to falsify history, claiming Christians ended widespread mass child-sacrifice practices among Native Americans
November 27, 2025 at 5:59 PM
You'd be hard pressed to find a crowd more receptive to an "alternate facts" version of history than that one.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
A bit too on the nose for thanksgiving
ICE DETAINED MARILYN. Fuck these people. www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news...
‘Northern Exposure’ actor gave ICE agents in Redmond her tribal ID. They called it ‘fake,’ she says
Indigenous actor Elaine Miles of "Northern Exposure" was detained by ICE at a Redmond bus stop. When she showed them her Tribal ID, they told her it was fake.
www.seattletimes.com
November 27, 2025 at 5:26 PM
A bit too on the nose for thanksgiving
Reposted by Alan Smithee
No. The Thing is a movie about a bunch of people who all distrust and hate each other trapped in one building as the tension between them slowly builds until it reaches a breaking point. It's a Thanksgiving movie.
Should John Carpenter's THE THING be officially classified as a Christmas movie? Let your voice be heard!
Is John Carpenter’s THE THING A Christmas Movie? Have Your Say
Should John Carpenter's THE THING be officially classified as a Christmas movie? Let your voice be heard!
dlvr.it
November 25, 2025 at 6:04 PM
No. The Thing is a movie about a bunch of people who all distrust and hate each other trapped in one building as the tension between them slowly builds until it reaches a breaking point. It's a Thanksgiving movie.
Reposted by Alan Smithee
As you’re preparing for your Thanksgiving meal, remember the skilled work it took to get that food to your grocery store.
Tell us your favorite Thanksgiving dish, and we can share some of what we know about the work behind the ingredients.
Tell us your favorite Thanksgiving dish, and we can share some of what we know about the work behind the ingredients.
November 26, 2025 at 6:03 PM
As you’re preparing for your Thanksgiving meal, remember the skilled work it took to get that food to your grocery store.
Tell us your favorite Thanksgiving dish, and we can share some of what we know about the work behind the ingredients.
Tell us your favorite Thanksgiving dish, and we can share some of what we know about the work behind the ingredients.