jake
@jakeregier.bsky.social
a sexually immature male wild turkey under two years old
I was looking at records and some old dude came up to me and said, "Vinyl's making a comeback, huh?"
I laughed, said "yeah," and walked away.
Later, as I was checking out, the cashier said, "Oh my god, I can't believe Jerry Cantrell's here!"
I laughed, said "yeah," and walked away.
Later, as I was checking out, the cashier said, "Oh my god, I can't believe Jerry Cantrell's here!"
Twitter is doing “best celebrity interactions” discourse so we should do WORST ones
not necessarily like that they were a jerk, just that the interaction itself was a fail on some level
like one time Robert Sean Leonard walked past me and I short-circuited so badly I spilled guacamole on myself
not necessarily like that they were a jerk, just that the interaction itself was a fail on some level
like one time Robert Sean Leonard walked past me and I short-circuited so badly I spilled guacamole on myself
September 25, 2023 at 1:08 AM
I was looking at records and some old dude came up to me and said, "Vinyl's making a comeback, huh?"
I laughed, said "yeah," and walked away.
Later, as I was checking out, the cashier said, "Oh my god, I can't believe Jerry Cantrell's here!"
I laughed, said "yeah," and walked away.
Later, as I was checking out, the cashier said, "Oh my god, I can't believe Jerry Cantrell's here!"
Reposted by jake
Give me your heart, make it real, or else
August 3, 2023 at 8:22 PM
Give me your heart, make it real, or else
Folks, it's finally pumpkin-pickin' weather in NYC.
September 15, 2023 at 1:11 PM
Folks, it's finally pumpkin-pickin' weather in NYC.
Reposted by jake
(extremely empathetic to Jews voice) now that the sun has set on a Friday evening, it’s time to talk about anti-semitism
everyone knows you’re supposed to make all of your most important announcements at 10pm on a Friday night
September 9, 2023 at 2:53 AM
(extremely empathetic to Jews voice) now that the sun has set on a Friday evening, it’s time to talk about anti-semitism
Reposted by jake
drummer: you said to be here at 8. it's 8:30. close enough who cares
guitarist: i said to be here at 7 because i knew you'd show up late
synth guy: looking to trade my ploquantus C4 for a heavY+ oscillator (6F format ONLY, please provide pics)
guitarist: i said to be here at 7 because i knew you'd show up late
synth guy: looking to trade my ploquantus C4 for a heavY+ oscillator (6F format ONLY, please provide pics)
September 8, 2023 at 12:54 AM
drummer: you said to be here at 8. it's 8:30. close enough who cares
guitarist: i said to be here at 7 because i knew you'd show up late
synth guy: looking to trade my ploquantus C4 for a heavY+ oscillator (6F format ONLY, please provide pics)
guitarist: i said to be here at 7 because i knew you'd show up late
synth guy: looking to trade my ploquantus C4 for a heavY+ oscillator (6F format ONLY, please provide pics)
Reposted by jake
whenever god closes a door he opens a window because he's taking a pretty nasty shit in there
September 8, 2023 at 2:07 AM
whenever god closes a door he opens a window because he's taking a pretty nasty shit in there
Reposted by jake
I did NOT approve this.
September 7, 2023 at 6:07 AM
I did NOT approve this.
Reposted by jake
Why do they look like Wario and Waluigi for Steve Martin and Martin Short
September 5, 2023 at 3:00 PM
Why do they look like Wario and Waluigi for Steve Martin and Martin Short
Reposted by jake
the Bang Bus is a good start but frankly i'd like to see more Bang Bike Lanes
August 31, 2023 at 6:26 PM
the Bang Bus is a good start but frankly i'd like to see more Bang Bike Lanes
September 1, 2023 at 4:01 AM
Reposted by jake
me: what’s crazy is that rudy giuliani first rose to fame because of 9/11
teen born in 2006: ohh. like he helped do it
me: ok no, but i see how you got there
teen born in 2006: ohh. like he helped do it
me: ok no, but i see how you got there
August 30, 2023 at 1:57 PM
me: what’s crazy is that rudy giuliani first rose to fame because of 9/11
teen born in 2006: ohh. like he helped do it
me: ok no, but i see how you got there
teen born in 2006: ohh. like he helped do it
me: ok no, but i see how you got there
Reposted by jake
DIG through the fridges to
MAKE some sandwiches theres
HAM and what looks like
arugula
MAKE some sandwiches theres
HAM and what looks like
arugula
August 29, 2023 at 11:49 PM
DIG through the fridges to
MAKE some sandwiches theres
HAM and what looks like
arugula
MAKE some sandwiches theres
HAM and what looks like
arugula
I'm in a poster's chat but we all have like three followers and one of the guys just shares David Draiman Instagram updates.
August 30, 2023 at 12:46 AM
I'm in a poster's chat but we all have like three followers and one of the guys just shares David Draiman Instagram updates.
Reposted by jake
Conservative everyman Joe the Plumber is dead. The main things I remember about him are that he wasn't a plumber and his name wasn't Joe and he made a really fucking racist joke about Obama on CBS Evening News to which Katie Couric responded by suggesting he guest host Meet the Press
August 28, 2023 at 9:29 PM
Conservative everyman Joe the Plumber is dead. The main things I remember about him are that he wasn't a plumber and his name wasn't Joe and he made a really fucking racist joke about Obama on CBS Evening News to which Katie Couric responded by suggesting he guest host Meet the Press
Reposted by jake
Editor: any new article ideas?
Writer: yeah, I had an idea for an article about David Duchovny's favourite song by The Rolling Stones
Editor: that's pretty thin, I think you should write an article about more than that
Writer: no problem
Writer: yeah, I had an idea for an article about David Duchovny's favourite song by The Rolling Stones
Editor: that's pretty thin, I think you should write an article about more than that
Writer: no problem
August 15, 2023 at 4:26 AM
Editor: any new article ideas?
Writer: yeah, I had an idea for an article about David Duchovny's favourite song by The Rolling Stones
Editor: that's pretty thin, I think you should write an article about more than that
Writer: no problem
Writer: yeah, I had an idea for an article about David Duchovny's favourite song by The Rolling Stones
Editor: that's pretty thin, I think you should write an article about more than that
Writer: no problem
Reposted by jake
i’m not exactly a connoisseur when it comes to film and literature, but it still blows my mind that these guys all conceive of art as just an updated set of jingling keys dangling in front of their moron faces
August 27, 2023 at 5:01 PM
i’m not exactly a connoisseur when it comes to film and literature, but it still blows my mind that these guys all conceive of art as just an updated set of jingling keys dangling in front of their moron faces
What's your bluesky brand?
August 27, 2023 at 5:34 PM
What's your bluesky brand?
Reposted by jake
Reposted by jake
(Voice trembling) Mr. President,
August 23, 2023 at 5:57 PM
(Voice trembling) Mr. President,
Reposted by jake
Reposted by jake
It's not necessarily what I want to see but I support Guy Fieri bringing his son and his son's overwhelming Blake Snell Energy on the road with him. That's what being a dad is all about. Taking your hooded-stare mustache son with you to eat a burger in New Hampshire. I'm getting emotional, hold on.
August 20, 2023 at 3:19 AM
It's not necessarily what I want to see but I support Guy Fieri bringing his son and his son's overwhelming Blake Snell Energy on the road with him. That's what being a dad is all about. Taking your hooded-stare mustache son with you to eat a burger in New Hampshire. I'm getting emotional, hold on.
Now remembering: The time I went to an Adam Sandler–themed birthday party but it sucked so we tried to leave but the birthday boy locked us in the basement and disconnected the landline so we had to sit captive and watch Adam Sandler movies until our parents came back for us several hours later.
August 17, 2023 at 4:18 PM
Now remembering: The time I went to an Adam Sandler–themed birthday party but it sucked so we tried to leave but the birthday boy locked us in the basement and disconnected the landline so we had to sit captive and watch Adam Sandler movies until our parents came back for us several hours later.
@nekedgrandma.bsky.social, looks like Mr. Methane's still out there getting gigs!
August 13, 2023 at 8:55 PM
@nekedgrandma.bsky.social, looks like Mr. Methane's still out there getting gigs!
Post a photo that makes you laugh every time you look at it.
August 12, 2023 at 1:09 AM
Post a photo that makes you laugh every time you look at it.
@nekedgrandma.bsky.social, I'm calling off the 2023 Pumpkin Beer Challenge.
I fucking told you
August 12, 2023 at 12:49 AM
@nekedgrandma.bsky.social, I'm calling off the 2023 Pumpkin Beer Challenge.