Isaac
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isaacgordon.com
Isaac
@isaacgordon.com
outdoor enthusiast
indoor mega enthusiast
actually maybe I just like doors
he/him
Pinned
another cup of coffee could fix me
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Figuring out what to eat for dinner should not be this difficult
December 1, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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Chicken fingers? Chicken tenders? Let’s just make it easy and call them tender fingers
December 1, 2025 at 11:10 PM
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Just passed out and my life flashed before my eyes and wow that was an awful lot of mayonnaise.
December 1, 2025 at 10:43 PM
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As we celebrate Awareness Month, please share this if you know anyone, or know anyone who knows anyone.
December 2, 2025 at 12:09 AM
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marge simpson is part of the problem
December 1, 2025 at 1:44 AM
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Audience culture is the worst it's ever been, I swear to god. People forgot how to act. I'm at the theater, trying to enjoy my show, which I've paid GOOD MONEY for, and these two old assholes are in the balcony heckling the life out of the poor bear onstage. Not letting him finish a single joke.
November 26, 2025 at 10:05 PM
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y'all ever order your burritos "extra tight"
November 26, 2025 at 11:23 PM
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happy birthday to thankful people
November 27, 2025 at 11:17 PM
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me: i say i like sucking dick, but is that simply conceptualizing the ideal dick sucking experience, and not the common reality of the jaw getting tired cuz the person can't cum from oral alone

plato: is this going anywhere

diogenes: quit interrupting him. continue
November 27, 2025 at 9:20 PM
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happy birthday, dinner
November 27, 2025 at 3:04 PM
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the thing about getting better is you have to get way worse first
November 26, 2025 at 4:04 AM
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I hope your coffee tastes extra life giving this morning
November 25, 2025 at 3:14 PM
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the food you like? it's bad. the food *i* like? good. checkmate, losers
November 25, 2025 at 8:21 PM
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ME POSTING: Good pussy sound like the Silent Hill radio
ME AFTER I NOTICE A FAMOUS PERSON JUST FOLLOWED ME: More than ever it is so inportant to be apprised of all that is to be and furthermore to learn of all that could in the best manner we are able as this is the true delight of Life
November 25, 2025 at 9:48 PM
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I am not in the right headspace for this iOS update
November 25, 2025 at 5:49 AM
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but how can the boys be back in town when they died 20 years ago on this very night
November 22, 2025 at 7:10 PM
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imagine walking down the beach and seeing jesus carrying some guy
November 22, 2025 at 1:04 AM
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No one is defying gravity after double fisting those margs at Chili’s
November 21, 2025 at 4:53 PM
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Bill Nye is short for William New Year's Eve
November 20, 2025 at 3:46 AM
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November 16, 2025 at 4:41 AM
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'Four cones wins, but in order to get a cone you have to build a civilization. Which is where the spirit cards come in'
November 15, 2025 at 11:25 PM
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just saw a single uno card on the sidewalk. wow. why would someone just throw away a winning hand
November 15, 2025 at 12:39 PM
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join my roving comedy troupe, vehicular man laughter
November 15, 2025 at 8:02 PM
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Happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Day to all who celebrate. Be sure to let all your screams out and then disappear.
November 14, 2025 at 11:28 AM
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be a dear and bring me my favorite crazy straw and a bottle of bourbon, won't you?
November 14, 2025 at 1:31 AM