A Detective
@heydetective.bsky.social
Reposted by A Detective
Gandalf really is heroic when you consider that there were originally five wizards and one of them turned evil, two of them fucked off and went out east to have orgies, and one is just super into talking to gophers. The one last hope of free peoples was the stoner and that crazy mfer did it.
February 12, 2026 at 4:24 AM
Gandalf really is heroic when you consider that there were originally five wizards and one of them turned evil, two of them fucked off and went out east to have orgies, and one is just super into talking to gophers. The one last hope of free peoples was the stoner and that crazy mfer did it.
i am at this time sincerely considering asking @schumer.senate.gov to pass a law that would make murder illegal. that’s how far things have gone.
February 10, 2026 at 11:48 PM
i am at this time sincerely considering asking @schumer.senate.gov to pass a law that would make murder illegal. that’s how far things have gone.
@jeffrosenstock.bsky.social @chrisfarren.bsky.social you guys it’s snowmageddon but you’re supposed to come to town next week and i’m going to be really sad if the show gets canceled but also i’m scared to drive to it but also also i’m worried for your safety so what i’m saying is be careful ok
January 24, 2026 at 3:24 AM
@jeffrosenstock.bsky.social @chrisfarren.bsky.social you guys it’s snowmageddon but you’re supposed to come to town next week and i’m going to be really sad if the show gets canceled but also i’m scared to drive to it but also also i’m worried for your safety so what i’m saying is be careful ok
senator schumer they are going door to door please schedule ice for an online learning session as soon as possible
January 13, 2026 at 9:29 PM
senator schumer they are going door to door please schedule ice for an online learning session as soon as possible
just encountered a stupid person on here if you can believe it
December 30, 2025 at 8:00 PM
just encountered a stupid person on here if you can believe it
senator @schumer.senate.gov sir who will you be voting for in the election?
November 6, 2025 at 12:51 PM
senator @schumer.senate.gov sir who will you be voting for in the election?
Reposted by A Detective
food banks have already been under pressure over the past several years, and with SNAP benefits expiring they're going to be the only safety net for a lot of people
please donate what you can. $100 can feed several families for a month because of the discounts and purchasing power they have
please donate what you can. $100 can feed several families for a month because of the discounts and purchasing power they have
October 22, 2025 at 11:21 AM
food banks have already been under pressure over the past several years, and with SNAP benefits expiring they're going to be the only safety net for a lot of people
please donate what you can. $100 can feed several families for a month because of the discounts and purchasing power they have
please donate what you can. $100 can feed several families for a month because of the discounts and purchasing power they have
what are we even doing here
October 22, 2025 at 8:19 PM
what are we even doing here
i believe some occurrences have raised new questions
October 22, 2025 at 8:19 PM
i believe some occurrences have raised new questions
thinking some shit is going on that’s stretching the boundaries
October 22, 2025 at 8:19 PM
thinking some shit is going on that’s stretching the boundaries
does anyone in a position to do so at any point want to ask a single follow up question? or are we done with follow up questions as a society?
October 22, 2025 at 8:06 PM
does anyone in a position to do so at any point want to ask a single follow up question? or are we done with follow up questions as a society?
gavin newsom you are shit to me
October 7, 2025 at 11:29 PM
gavin newsom you are shit to me
Reposted by A Detective
Everyone: children simply aren't "of the corn"
Stephen king: hold my beer
Stephen king: hold my beer
October 6, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Everyone: children simply aren't "of the corn"
Stephen king: hold my beer
Stephen king: hold my beer
Reposted by A Detective
i do not respect this belief but it is enlightening to wrap your head around the fact that a significant number of your political rivals believe you are literally in league with satan, and act with concomitant zeal and brutality
October 6, 2025 at 3:38 AM
i do not respect this belief but it is enlightening to wrap your head around the fact that a significant number of your political rivals believe you are literally in league with satan, and act with concomitant zeal and brutality
Reposted by A Detective
literally i think what the pirates have done since monday is worse than anything the yankees as an organization have done to their fans in the last one hundred years
The Yankees absolutely cannot lose this series.
Aaron Boone's season can't end at the hands of Alex Cora for a third time in eight seasons.
Or else.
🔗: http://dlvr.it/TNPwC3
Aaron Boone's season can't end at the hands of Alex Cora for a third time in eight seasons.
Or else.
🔗: http://dlvr.it/TNPwC3
October 1, 2025 at 7:06 PM
literally i think what the pirates have done since monday is worse than anything the yankees as an organization have done to their fans in the last one hundred years
Reposted by A Detective
[0.8 seconds after arbitrarily opening a bible to somewhere in 2 samuel] damn this is dope! shout out to god
October 1, 2025 at 3:37 PM
[0.8 seconds after arbitrarily opening a bible to somewhere in 2 samuel] damn this is dope! shout out to god
Reposted by A Detective
If Democrats cave on this, I will never, ever, ever, ever vote for them ever again. Ever.
oh look, it’s literally the thing i wrote about for @rollingstone.com happening in real time. as we speak. like exactly what i reported, like a carbon copy.
as a reminder, here’s what i said people within the party and trans care advocates believe will most likely happen next.
as a reminder, here’s what i said people within the party and trans care advocates believe will most likely happen next.
September 29, 2025 at 3:54 PM
If Democrats cave on this, I will never, ever, ever, ever vote for them ever again. Ever.
Reposted by A Detective
LMAO he literally said your wife was an "affirmative action hire" because black women "do not have the brain processing power to be taken seriously" get a fucking grip
We don’t yet know what motivated the person who shot and killed Charlie Kirk, but this kind of despicable violence has no place in our democracy. Michelle and I will be praying for Charlie’s family tonight, especially his wife Erika and their two young children.
September 11, 2025 at 4:01 PM
LMAO he literally said your wife was an "affirmative action hire" because black women "do not have the brain processing power to be taken seriously" get a fucking grip
Reposted by A Detective
drink piss in hell forever motha fucka
James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family and one of the most influential voices in the conservative evangelical movement, has died at age 89
August 21, 2025 at 2:14 PM
drink piss in hell forever motha fucka
senator @fetterman.senate.gov i pray to jesus and God that you are on vacation right now.
July 15, 2025 at 3:39 AM
senator @fetterman.senate.gov i pray to jesus and God that you are on vacation right now.
is it illegal for journalists to say the phrase “what do you mean”? because someone should ask some of these guys that sometimes.
July 8, 2025 at 10:40 PM
is it illegal for journalists to say the phrase “what do you mean”? because someone should ask some of these guys that sometimes.
Reposted by A Detective
My statement on Donald Trump's threat to deport me and his praise for Eric Adams, who the President "helped out" of legal accountability.
July 1, 2025 at 9:01 PM
My statement on Donald Trump's threat to deport me and his praise for Eric Adams, who the President "helped out" of legal accountability.
i’m going to absolutely freak out if senator @fetterman.senate.gov doesn’t get to go to the beach and i mean like NOW. enough is enough he’s been through enough get him to the beach.
July 1, 2025 at 4:15 PM
i’m going to absolutely freak out if senator @fetterman.senate.gov doesn’t get to go to the beach and i mean like NOW. enough is enough he’s been through enough get him to the beach.
Reposted by A Detective
these people think you're stupid and hold you in absolute fucking contempt
June 27, 2025 at 2:42 PM
these people think you're stupid and hold you in absolute fucking contempt