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someone should invent a chore that is done permanently once you do the chore
December 30, 2025 at 7:36 PM
someone should invent a chore that is done permanently once you do the chore
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Once again failed to teach my dogs the only command I want them to know: “Be normal.”
December 14, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Once again failed to teach my dogs the only command I want them to know: “Be normal.”
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I wonder if I can just go to sleep for like ten years and wait this shit out
November 17, 2025 at 10:38 PM
I wonder if I can just go to sleep for like ten years and wait this shit out
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a “Space Force”, if you will
November 13, 2025 at 2:27 PM
a “Space Force”, if you will
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watching you dildo brain cock suckers play w/ AI shit is like watching a dog paw at one of those puzzle boxes that you put treats inside of
July 31, 2025 at 2:11 AM
watching you dildo brain cock suckers play w/ AI shit is like watching a dog paw at one of those puzzle boxes that you put treats inside of
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it's not that I'm incorruptible it's just that nobody ever meets my price
July 30, 2025 at 4:57 AM
it's not that I'm incorruptible it's just that nobody ever meets my price
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You have two cakes inside you. One is angel food, one is devil food. You probably shouldn’t have eaten two whole cakes.
July 20, 2025 at 10:54 PM
You have two cakes inside you. One is angel food, one is devil food. You probably shouldn’t have eaten two whole cakes.
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What’s going on with my "tops" and, in some cases, "bottoms?”
July 13, 2025 at 2:37 AM
What’s going on with my "tops" and, in some cases, "bottoms?”
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In these difficult times I question many things including, why the hell can't they put the cocaine back into Coca Cola?
July 6, 2025 at 10:12 AM
In these difficult times I question many things including, why the hell can't they put the cocaine back into Coca Cola?
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A really strong-willed horse, or a Colt of Personality if you will.
June 29, 2025 at 5:03 AM
A really strong-willed horse, or a Colt of Personality if you will.
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ME: why are these cats acting so strange, surely this random collection of plants I acquired from a suspicious vendor are not to blame
CAT: 0_________0 ᶜᵃᵖⁿⁱᵗ
CAT: 0_________0 ᶜᵃᵖⁿⁱᵗ
June 27, 2025 at 7:41 AM
ME: why are these cats acting so strange, surely this random collection of plants I acquired from a suspicious vendor are not to blame
CAT: 0_________0 ᶜᵃᵖⁿⁱᵗ
CAT: 0_________0 ᶜᵃᵖⁿⁱᵗ
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Me: I should be in charge of everything and beloved.
Also me: ew, I am being perceived and talked about? gross.
Also me: ew, I am being perceived and talked about? gross.
June 21, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Me: I should be in charge of everything and beloved.
Also me: ew, I am being perceived and talked about? gross.
Also me: ew, I am being perceived and talked about? gross.
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I recently learned that the idea that animals abandon their young if "tainted by" human scent is largely a myth. Which makes my family's expulsion of me at 13, after I was saved from the woods by search and rescue a bit tougher in retrospect. Perhaps it was, as the press insinuated, a "vibe thing".
May 31, 2025 at 12:43 PM
I recently learned that the idea that animals abandon their young if "tainted by" human scent is largely a myth. Which makes my family's expulsion of me at 13, after I was saved from the woods by search and rescue a bit tougher in retrospect. Perhaps it was, as the press insinuated, a "vibe thing".
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JUST BECAUSE THE CLOWN CAR GOES VERY FAST DOES NOT MEAN IT ISN’T FULL OF CLOWNS
the speed at which these guys have broken everything has given a lot of folks who should know better the impression that they are an unstoppable force and the only option is to negotiate the terms of surrender
just because the clown car goes very fast does not mean it isn’t full of clowns
just because the clown car goes very fast does not mean it isn’t full of clowns
Whatever the immediate fallout of the scandal, what is going to stick around is the impression it gives, of hapless idiots doing ridiculous things. And I think that seriously reduces the appeal of capitulating to these jokers.
March 25, 2025 at 3:59 PM
JUST BECAUSE THE CLOWN CAR GOES VERY FAST DOES NOT MEAN IT ISN’T FULL OF CLOWNS
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self-awareness is such a scam bc now i can see all my problems AND i still have them? rude
February 22, 2025 at 6:14 PM
self-awareness is such a scam bc now i can see all my problems AND i still have them? rude
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Don’t make it so obvious that this is your first chariot race. Act like you’ve Ben Hur before.
January 20, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Don’t make it so obvious that this is your first chariot race. Act like you’ve Ben Hur before.
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I see myself more like a 0.5-trick pony. Heading towards quarter-trick.
December 18, 2024 at 11:23 PM
I see myself more like a 0.5-trick pony. Heading towards quarter-trick.
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I had a teacher in highschool who managed to pound into my thick skull that every single food (and safety) regulation we have now was written in the blood of the people who died for want of it. There's nothing superfluous about them
October 15, 2024 at 6:59 PM
I had a teacher in highschool who managed to pound into my thick skull that every single food (and safety) regulation we have now was written in the blood of the people who died for want of it. There's nothing superfluous about them
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This post has been living rent-free in my head all week.
“I would like a SMALL APPLE”
“I would like a SMALL APPLE”
September 17, 2024 at 5:56 PM
This post has been living rent-free in my head all week.
“I would like a SMALL APPLE”
“I would like a SMALL APPLE”
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ICARUS: I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I'm flying high!
DAEDALUS: Hi flying high, I'm Dad...alus!
[It was at that moment that Icarus decided he would risk flying too close to the pun.]
DAEDALUS: Hi flying high, I'm Dad...alus!
[It was at that moment that Icarus decided he would risk flying too close to the pun.]
September 5, 2024 at 1:20 AM
ICARUS: I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I'm flying high!
DAEDALUS: Hi flying high, I'm Dad...alus!
[It was at that moment that Icarus decided he would risk flying too close to the pun.]
DAEDALUS: Hi flying high, I'm Dad...alus!
[It was at that moment that Icarus decided he would risk flying too close to the pun.]
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"She's got a touch of the 'tism," as my friends might say.
July 4, 2024 at 10:47 PM
"She's got a touch of the 'tism," as my friends might say.
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Contacted a friend who rescues angry feral cats, she recommended this hand gesture, which they call the Llama of Friendship
It may mimic non-threatening inquisitive cat ears, but regardless of the mechanism I have learned I will not be attacked as long as one hand is llama-shaped
It may mimic non-threatening inquisitive cat ears, but regardless of the mechanism I have learned I will not be attacked as long as one hand is llama-shaped
June 18, 2024 at 11:30 PM
Contacted a friend who rescues angry feral cats, she recommended this hand gesture, which they call the Llama of Friendship
It may mimic non-threatening inquisitive cat ears, but regardless of the mechanism I have learned I will not be attacked as long as one hand is llama-shaped
It may mimic non-threatening inquisitive cat ears, but regardless of the mechanism I have learned I will not be attacked as long as one hand is llama-shaped
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we must stop putting people on pedestals and start putting them in enclosures with enrichment
June 22, 2024 at 1:55 AM
we must stop putting people on pedestals and start putting them in enclosures with enrichment
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Six dead, eight missing after the red line suddenly got the zoomies
April 16, 2024 at 10:12 PM
Six dead, eight missing after the red line suddenly got the zoomies