Fernando D. Maldonado
@fernastymaldo.bsky.social
film guy. east coast boy cosplaying as a pnw lad. trivia with bootie & the blowfish. outlet for my intrusive thoughts. fdmaldonado.com.
one thing that the ending of Se7en is unfortunately missing is a cutaway shot of a propeller plane flying overhead pulling a banner that reads "WRATH" on it just as the tension boils over
October 5, 2025 at 2:59 AM
one thing that the ending of Se7en is unfortunately missing is a cutaway shot of a propeller plane flying overhead pulling a banner that reads "WRATH" on it just as the tension boils over
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
saw this in the thomas pynchon subreddit lol
September 8, 2025 at 8:12 PM
saw this in the thomas pynchon subreddit lol
Every time a Cyber Truck runs a red light, a demon gets its horns.
September 6, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Every time a Cyber Truck runs a red light, a demon gets its horns.
the end is nigh, etc.
July 15, 2025 at 6:04 PM
the end is nigh, etc.
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
Every one of these guys thinks they’re Oppenheimer mixed with Andrew Carnegie and they own something called SplortDotCom that got bought by Boozoo
2025 will go down as the year when all the subtext became text
February 6, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Every one of these guys thinks they’re Oppenheimer mixed with Andrew Carnegie and they own something called SplortDotCom that got bought by Boozoo
some people give so little fucks that they actually take them
December 24, 2024 at 7:59 PM
some people give so little fucks that they actually take them
my favorite girl wrote about my favorite wrestler for today's essay in @essaydaily.bsky.social's advent calendar. has me thinking families should gather round the tv to watch wrestling matches instead of football games on christmas day...
for the @essaydaily.bsky.social advent calendar, I wrote about our greatest living Santa Claus impersonator: www.essaydaily.org/2024/12/dec-...
Dec 15: Katherine Cusumano, Please Welcome Hardcore Santa to the Ring
* This is part of our yearly Advent Calendar, which publishes an essay a day each year during advent. Find the rest of this year's and pr...
www.essaydaily.org
December 15, 2024 at 5:21 PM
my favorite girl wrote about my favorite wrestler for today's essay in @essaydaily.bsky.social's advent calendar. has me thinking families should gather round the tv to watch wrestling matches instead of football games on christmas day...
whenever toxic online fandom gets you down, just pretend they're talking about the brady bunch
December 12, 2024 at 3:24 PM
whenever toxic online fandom gets you down, just pretend they're talking about the brady bunch
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
a movie called nosferatatouille, where a bat sits on draculas head and turns him into a world-renowned pastry chef
December 9, 2024 at 6:33 PM
a movie called nosferatatouille, where a bat sits on draculas head and turns him into a world-renowned pastry chef
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
Se7en is a Christmas movie because people talk about the Bible and Brad Pitt gets a present at the end.
December 8, 2024 at 12:05 PM
Se7en is a Christmas movie because people talk about the Bible and Brad Pitt gets a present at the end.
starting to think that netflix does not have the best interests of the participants in its dystopian dating shows in mind
December 8, 2024 at 8:52 AM
starting to think that netflix does not have the best interests of the participants in its dystopian dating shows in mind
one of my top five television performances of the year
December 7, 2024 at 7:23 PM
one of my top five television performances of the year
in my new york era of not knowing whether i can't find a place because i can't remember its name or it simply no longer exists
December 7, 2024 at 7:11 PM
in my new york era of not knowing whether i can't find a place because i can't remember its name or it simply no longer exists
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
lofi beats to ignore the slow motion apocalypse to
December 5, 2024 at 5:11 PM
lofi beats to ignore the slow motion apocalypse to
considering getting a "bless this mess" forehead tattoo a la jared leto's joker. i'm not accepting feedback at this time.
December 3, 2024 at 12:27 PM
considering getting a "bless this mess" forehead tattoo a la jared leto's joker. i'm not accepting feedback at this time.
wordle bot talking down to me every day like we're not solving these things in the same number of steps
December 3, 2024 at 10:42 AM
wordle bot talking down to me every day like we're not solving these things in the same number of steps
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
I just want to RIP while I'm alive.
December 2, 2024 at 12:28 PM
I just want to RIP while I'm alive.
holiday weekend national treasure on the big screen is a warm blanket for my soul.
December 1, 2024 at 8:06 PM
holiday weekend national treasure on the big screen is a warm blanket for my soul.
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
Men don't go "Yabba Dabba Doo" anymore
December 1, 2024 at 5:07 PM
Men don't go "Yabba Dabba Doo" anymore
i'm feeling net negative about advertising these days.
November 28, 2024 at 3:51 PM
i'm feeling net negative about advertising these days.
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
“Ok, so, here’s the thing...” - me reluctantly lending someone my Blu-ray of my favourite John Carpenter film
November 27, 2024 at 11:40 AM
“Ok, so, here’s the thing...” - me reluctantly lending someone my Blu-ray of my favourite John Carpenter film
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
James Bond movies never show the part where the supervillain collects government subsidies to build his death tech.
November 27, 2024 at 5:03 PM
James Bond movies never show the part where the supervillain collects government subsidies to build his death tech.
time sure does fly when you sit in a windowless room all day.
November 18, 2024 at 9:06 PM
time sure does fly when you sit in a windowless room all day.
Reposted by Fernando D. Maldonado
This just happened
November 16, 2024 at 4:13 AM
This just happened