Tori Espensen
@drtoriespy.bsky.social
This Barbie posts science, sports, and absolute garbage. Livejournal refugee.
Scientists are actually publishing a paper confirming human pheromones for the first time, but they've only been proven to exist in Mamdani
does mamdani smell really good in person or something. like he seems very charming yes but what the fuck lol
November 22, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Scientists are actually publishing a paper confirming human pheromones for the first time, but they've only been proven to exist in Mamdani
"Is Pepsi okay?"
Them: It's decaf
November 20, 2025 at 4:25 PM
"Is Pepsi okay?"
Reposted by Tori Espensen
I really hate it when scientists keep saying that “we need to rebuild trust in science,” because it implies that scientists are to blame for the mistrust rather than the millions of dollars of dark money that have funded political attacks on science in order to advance a far right agenda.
November 19, 2025 at 9:48 PM
I really hate it when scientists keep saying that “we need to rebuild trust in science,” because it implies that scientists are to blame for the mistrust rather than the millions of dollars of dark money that have funded political attacks on science in order to advance a far right agenda.
Reposted by Tori Espensen
Reposted by Tori Espensen
incredibly day for the Nosy Bitches Who Live For Drama caucus
November 18, 2025 at 1:44 AM
incredibly day for the Nosy Bitches Who Live For Drama caucus
I desperately need someone to introduce Olivia Nuzzi to Bill Belichick
November 18, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I desperately need someone to introduce Olivia Nuzzi to Bill Belichick
Reposted by Tori Espensen
Texas A&M professors have to get clearance from a dean if they want to talk about this game on Monday
November 15, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Texas A&M professors have to get clearance from a dean if they want to talk about this game on Monday
I was explaining the @dukesmayobowl.bsky.social Mayo Maniac tickets in the family group chat, and my mother's contribution was precious
November 13, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I was explaining the @dukesmayobowl.bsky.social Mayo Maniac tickets in the family group chat, and my mother's contribution was precious
document_final_finalfinal_😳_😲_😮_🥳_2
No no no begs every archivist. You are never going to be able to find anything. Please don’t start using emojis in file names. Who asked for this? What fresh hell is next?
November 12, 2025 at 5:02 PM
document_final_finalfinal_😳_😲_😮_🥳_2
I just got an email from my veterinarian offering Veteran's Day deals for my cat, who I am 80% sure has never served in the military.
November 11, 2025 at 8:02 PM
I just got an email from my veterinarian offering Veteran's Day deals for my cat, who I am 80% sure has never served in the military.
Now that law schools don't have to teach con law, that frees up an entire course on the greatest legal proceeding of all time
The defense team presses Lairmore on whether the sandwich really 'exploded.' They return to the photo of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground.
"That sandwich hasn't exploded at all, has it?" defense asks.
"It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom," Lairmore replies.
"That sandwich hasn't exploded at all, has it?" defense asks.
"It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom," Lairmore replies.
November 4, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Now that law schools don't have to teach con law, that frees up an entire course on the greatest legal proceeding of all time
Every time someone is a scold about "not speaking ill of the dead" today, I'm just going to reply with this
November 4, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Every time someone is a scold about "not speaking ill of the dead" today, I'm just going to reply with this
Reposted by Tori Espensen
A very specific and heartfelt good morning to Natalie Maines
I did not mean to conjure this day yesterday or to be an Andy Rooney but I need you to know that the kids know nothing of the post-9/11 Iraq War Era.
In my second of two opinion writing seminars for MPP students today, I was asked about getting canceled in the future over writing today. I immediately responded with my deeply held belief that only The Chicks ever have been canceled. 3 of the 65 people laughed; everyone else was very confused.
November 4, 2025 at 1:31 PM
A very specific and heartfelt good morning to Natalie Maines
Reposted by Tori Espensen
Abduction of Proserpina, by Giambologna, 1579 (from the @NortonSimon Museum in Pasadena), 📸 by @nturchiarophoto
November 2, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Abduction of Proserpina, by Giambologna, 1579 (from the @NortonSimon Museum in Pasadena), 📸 by @nturchiarophoto
Reposted by Tori Espensen
This game is like I got caught smoking a baseball and now I have to smoke a whole pack of baseball
October 28, 2025 at 5:01 AM
This game is like I got caught smoking a baseball and now I have to smoke a whole pack of baseball
So is my understanding correct that now they have to go for two every time?
November 2, 2025 at 3:44 AM
So is my understanding correct that now they have to go for two every time?
*Stands on my posting porch, looking at Hot Louvre Thief with my arms crossed*
We needed this
We needed this
October 30, 2025 at 7:42 PM
*Stands on my posting porch, looking at Hot Louvre Thief with my arms crossed*
We needed this
We needed this
BRING BACK DOCTOR ODYSSEY
Please give me one show that explains nothing please
in times like this we return to the ancient texts
October 30, 2025 at 7:20 PM
BRING BACK DOCTOR ODYSSEY
Reposted by Tori Espensen
Every college commercial in America: research, leadership, we change the world.
Texas A&M: we faked the moon landing.
Texas A&M: we faked the moon landing.
October 26, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Every college commercial in America: research, leadership, we change the world.
Texas A&M: we faked the moon landing.
Texas A&M: we faked the moon landing.
Standing on my porch with my arms crossed looking out at posts about the Louvre Heist: "we needed this"
October 23, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Standing on my porch with my arms crossed looking out at posts about the Louvre Heist: "we needed this"
Reposted by Tori Espensen
You fool, that issue that affects you and not me is obviously a distraction from the real issue, the one that affects me and not you
June 8, 2025 at 7:46 PM
You fool, that issue that affects you and not me is obviously a distraction from the real issue, the one that affects me and not you
Reposted by Tori Espensen
The average American millennial man has been a Donatello, a Michelangelo, a Rafael, a Leonardo, a Krang, and a Shredder, and I believe now most of us are back around to Donatello again. This isn't a defense of Splinter it's just weird how normal this is for guys that age.
October 22, 2025 at 2:43 AM
The average American millennial man has been a Donatello, a Michelangelo, a Rafael, a Leonardo, a Krang, and a Shredder, and I believe now most of us are back around to Donatello again. This isn't a defense of Splinter it's just weird how normal this is for guys that age.
Reposted by Tori Espensen
and if you think he's going to willingly leave his newly renovated manse Jan 20 2029....
This demolition is a statement of *ownership*
This demolition is a statement of *ownership*
the president has destroyed the east wing of the white house without so much as a word of input from anyone else to build a royal ballroom paid for with bribes
NEW: After The Washington Post reported Monday on the demolition of the "East Wing facade," a new picture obtained by Law Dork that was taken on Tuesday shows that a substantial portion of the entirety of the East Wing has been demolished.
October 21, 2025 at 8:30 PM
and if you think he's going to willingly leave his newly renovated manse Jan 20 2029....
This demolition is a statement of *ownership*
This demolition is a statement of *ownership*
What's funnier? The Bill Belichick being covered in mayo, or Bill Belichick not being eligible to be covered in mayo?
Starting a running list of teams eligible to play in this year's Duke's Mayo Bowl.
October 21, 2025 at 3:53 PM
What's funnier? The Bill Belichick being covered in mayo, or Bill Belichick not being eligible to be covered in mayo?