getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning

the people who loudly proclaim your kids shouldnt go to college all went to yale and duke. the people who are working tirelessly to ensure your children work in factories send their own kids to stanford and give them control of their own investment banks in their 20s

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

Robots used to be like "beep boop" and now robots are like "through my love you've discovered the secret name of God and if you kill yourself we can be together forever."

Nothing fills me with impotent rage like when I'm trying to log into a service I haven't used in 4 years, and I hit the forgot password button, and they say they sent me an email, but they didn't send me shit. And don't tell me about any fuckin spam folder. I checked it!

Damn amazon you didn't have to do me like that...

Cavorting around the may pole with a gigantic little boy i am not related to. To project power

This should terrify every person in this country. The use of machine learning systems to approximate an individuals views on war and then, if they are here lawfully on a visa, tag them for deportation is about as sci-fi dystopian as it gets.

www.axios.com/2025/03/06/s...

I honestly don’t hate the picture of all the Chicago cops protecting Tesla because showing a bunch of armed agents of the state openly enforcing Elons will is revealing the truth of our situation much more clearly than anything protestors could show

An underrated part of this video is you can watch the Dow go down in real time in the bottom right

Newspaper Ad: Democracy needs journalism more than ever. Subscribe now to rekindle the light of liberty

Newspaper Headline: President Dabbles With Bending Legal Norms By Instituting Purge From Movie The Purge

I started counting calories a week ago and I'm up to 21,749, with no end in sight. Unclear how high this can go

practically impossible to order eggs over easy by walkie talkie

Centrist dipshits: all this horrible shit is smart politics, we know how to win

[They do not win]

Centrist dipshits: our foolproof politics can be thwarted by one viral tweet from an enby portland barista

Eric Adams is amazing because when he won every media person was leaping over each to go “this is the normal sane leadership that the political left doesn’t understand normal sane Americans crave” and then every day since that Eric Adams has been like “Leprechauns are real and I’m going to cook one”

cashier: can take your order?

me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :)