@dammitlarry.bsky.social
That one time on Twitter I wrote a tweet about squats.
Cake appreciation
Cake appreciation
Supreme Court denies Kim Davis' petition to overturn same-sex marriage ruling.
I'd punch a nun to see the couple she denied a license to stand outside her home with a boombox playing "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY"
I'd punch a nun to see the couple she denied a license to stand outside her home with a boombox playing "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY"
November 10, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Supreme Court denies Kim Davis' petition to overturn same-sex marriage ruling.
I'd punch a nun to see the couple she denied a license to stand outside her home with a boombox playing "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY"
I'd punch a nun to see the couple she denied a license to stand outside her home with a boombox playing "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY"
Is true love really about flowers, dinner and romance or is it when you're having breakfast in a nice hotel and your SO tells you he needs an App Surf. a.k.a shit and are you done eating?
It's the App Surf right? RIGHT??
It's the App Surf right? RIGHT??
October 8, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Is true love really about flowers, dinner and romance or is it when you're having breakfast in a nice hotel and your SO tells you he needs an App Surf. a.k.a shit and are you done eating?
It's the App Surf right? RIGHT??
It's the App Surf right? RIGHT??
Reposted
None of the guys in this safety orientation are interested in watching my jerk off video.
October 8, 2025 at 3:26 PM
None of the guys in this safety orientation are interested in watching my jerk off video.
Telling the patron next to me that "Lay All Your Love On Me" is really about cum on the face....
.....is why I've been banned from future performances of Mamma Mia.
.....is why I've been banned from future performances of Mamma Mia.
October 8, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Telling the patron next to me that "Lay All Your Love On Me" is really about cum on the face....
.....is why I've been banned from future performances of Mamma Mia.
.....is why I've been banned from future performances of Mamma Mia.
Nelly Furtado.
Unless she's sitting on your face, her weight is none of your fucking business.
Unless she's sitting on your face, her weight is none of your fucking business.
September 6, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Nelly Furtado.
Unless she's sitting on your face, her weight is none of your fucking business.
Unless she's sitting on your face, her weight is none of your fucking business.
Kim Davis's hairline is reversing quicker than same-sex marriage.
How big of a tik tac toe board do you think we can draw on it?
How big of a tik tac toe board do you think we can draw on it?
August 12, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Kim Davis's hairline is reversing quicker than same-sex marriage.
How big of a tik tac toe board do you think we can draw on it?
How big of a tik tac toe board do you think we can draw on it?
Reposted
ME: ♪twinkle twinkle little star, how i wonder what you are♪
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: it's a big ball of hot gas that will eventually kill us all
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: it's a big ball of hot gas that will eventually kill us all
August 12, 2025 at 5:34 PM
ME: ♪twinkle twinkle little star, how i wonder what you are♪
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: it's a big ball of hot gas that will eventually kill us all
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: it's a big ball of hot gas that will eventually kill us all
Scientists:
We found it! Life on another planet!
Clitoris:
We found it! Life on another planet!
Clitoris:
April 17, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Scientists:
We found it! Life on another planet!
Clitoris:
We found it! Life on another planet!
Clitoris:
Boss: School is asking if son has a medical condition. Is being a little fucking shit a condition?
Me: Nah, not medical. Genetics.
Bear in mind...I'm three months into my probation period 🤦
Me: Nah, not medical. Genetics.
Bear in mind...I'm three months into my probation period 🤦
April 16, 2025 at 9:51 AM
Boss: School is asking if son has a medical condition. Is being a little fucking shit a condition?
Me: Nah, not medical. Genetics.
Bear in mind...I'm three months into my probation period 🤦
Me: Nah, not medical. Genetics.
Bear in mind...I'm three months into my probation period 🤦
"You know when you have an absolute rank shite and there's a whole lot of empty sweetcorn husks just hanging around, desperately clinging to the said shite"
Me explaining the inauguration.
Me explaining the inauguration.
January 20, 2025 at 7:39 PM
"You know when you have an absolute rank shite and there's a whole lot of empty sweetcorn husks just hanging around, desperately clinging to the said shite"
Me explaining the inauguration.
Me explaining the inauguration.
"Boundaries, never heard of them mate"
- Eddie, probably.
- Eddie, probably.
January 8, 2025 at 11:42 PM
"Boundaries, never heard of them mate"
- Eddie, probably.
- Eddie, probably.
However 2024 treated you, you survived it. Tis a win.
Throat punching along with the below is also an acceptable way to start 2025.
✌️🐧
Throat punching along with the below is also an acceptable way to start 2025.
✌️🐧
December 31, 2024 at 7:55 PM
However 2024 treated you, you survived it. Tis a win.
Throat punching along with the below is also an acceptable way to start 2025.
✌️🐧
Throat punching along with the below is also an acceptable way to start 2025.
✌️🐧
Dad: Y'know, you look like that guy..Cuntknackers.
Brother: Who?
Dad: Cuntknackers, the guy from that Hangover film
Me: Zach Galifianakis
Dad: Yeah..that's what I said, Cuntknackers
Brother: Who?
Dad: Cuntknackers, the guy from that Hangover film
Me: Zach Galifianakis
Dad: Yeah..that's what I said, Cuntknackers
December 29, 2024 at 12:48 PM
Dad: Y'know, you look like that guy..Cuntknackers.
Brother: Who?
Dad: Cuntknackers, the guy from that Hangover film
Me: Zach Galifianakis
Dad: Yeah..that's what I said, Cuntknackers
Brother: Who?
Dad: Cuntknackers, the guy from that Hangover film
Me: Zach Galifianakis
Dad: Yeah..that's what I said, Cuntknackers
Reposted
a murderer snaps my neck but my body just slowly starts to turn a little bit neon
December 29, 2024 at 1:51 AM
a murderer snaps my neck but my body just slowly starts to turn a little bit neon
Reposted
Revealing the masked singer and it’s one of the guys from daft punk with his helmet on
December 29, 2024 at 1:46 AM
Revealing the masked singer and it’s one of the guys from daft punk with his helmet on
Reposted
A movie about a vampire with a deviated septum entitled “NOSEferatu.”
December 29, 2024 at 11:12 AM
A movie about a vampire with a deviated septum entitled “NOSEferatu.”
I've gained a fair few followers recently (ta very much) without getting my tiddehs out.
Be happy about that, no one wants to look at my feet.
Be happy about that, no one wants to look at my feet.
December 29, 2024 at 12:38 PM
I've gained a fair few followers recently (ta very much) without getting my tiddehs out.
Be happy about that, no one wants to look at my feet.
Be happy about that, no one wants to look at my feet.
Some days I miss the porn bots that are rampant at the X.
But I want to look at hairy lips, I'll go groom my magnificent moustache.
But I want to look at hairy lips, I'll go groom my magnificent moustache.
December 9, 2024 at 7:12 PM
Some days I miss the porn bots that are rampant at the X.
But I want to look at hairy lips, I'll go groom my magnificent moustache.
But I want to look at hairy lips, I'll go groom my magnificent moustache.
Are you justified?
Yes.
Are you ancient?
Yes.
Do you drive an ice-cream van?
DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT??
Yes.
Are you ancient?
Yes.
Do you drive an ice-cream van?
DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT??
December 8, 2024 at 10:28 PM
Are you justified?
Yes.
Are you ancient?
Yes.
Do you drive an ice-cream van?
DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT??
Yes.
Are you ancient?
Yes.
Do you drive an ice-cream van?
DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT??
Reposted
{getting attacked by a shark} awww he must smell my shark
December 6, 2024 at 1:11 PM
{getting attacked by a shark} awww he must smell my shark
"You think I'm unemotional, don't you? I can *be* emotional. Jesus, I cried like a child at the end of Terminator 2"
Me, but watching Arcane.
Me, but watching Arcane.
December 6, 2024 at 1:16 PM
"You think I'm unemotional, don't you? I can *be* emotional. Jesus, I cried like a child at the end of Terminator 2"
Me, but watching Arcane.
Me, but watching Arcane.
Watched a video about a screaming hairy armadillo.
And that is now the name of my vagina.
And that is now the name of my vagina.
November 27, 2024 at 7:30 AM
Watched a video about a screaming hairy armadillo.
And that is now the name of my vagina.
And that is now the name of my vagina.
The best/worse part of Movember is how often I'm complimented on my moustache.
November 27, 2024 at 7:26 AM
The best/worse part of Movember is how often I'm complimented on my moustache.
Oh you bet your arse I'm getting this tattooed on myself!
November 22, 2024 at 6:56 PM
Oh you bet your arse I'm getting this tattooed on myself!