(seeing FBI agents sprinting in my direction as I'm being stabbed) Oh thank god I'm--(they run past me and tackle a guy who's flipping off a tesla)

I’m drawing a blank. It looks like a real bullet, but you see-

Me: Oh no that trolley is going to run us over!

Guy tied up on the track next to me who somehow thinks he's actually the guy holding the lever: Lol cry more 😂

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller
January 2,1947

very sternly asked to leave before my hoarder uncle's intervention even starts after walking into his house and shouting Whoooa I bet all this stuff is gonna be worth a fortune someday

👍

Daniel Penny acquitted after literally killing someone on camera for being disruptive on the train the same day a person of interest in the shooting of a shitbag healthcare exec gets grabbed pretty succinctly sums up who in this country is allowed to kill and who they’re allowed to kill.

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller
November 26,1951

Carl Sagan nailed it back in 1995.

Wednesday, the senate is probably going to vote on several Joint Resolutions of Disapproval which would block offensive arms sales to Israel. Call your senator today and tomorrow and tell them to support these bills, the situation is dire. Here's a script you can use:

Introduce yourself in four video games

*listening to radiohead* what’s this guy’s problem?

🎶I read the news today
Oh fuck🎶

we’ll be four horsemen deep into the apocalypse and still going to work

When my brain lets me go to sleep at 3am: