Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
@beeeejesq.bsky.social
Lawyer, fundraiser, novelist, ally, huzbin, daddy. Cornell Hockey. Poker. Brooklyn. He/Him. My wife is the sexiest woman *and* the funniest woman I know.
Pinned
Fed up with your girlfriend stealing your clothing? Marry her. I’m in my thirteenth year of knowing exactly where all my hoodies are.
Now that I’m in my fifties, some stuff takes me three or four fell swoops.
January 27, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Now that I’m in my fifties, some stuff takes me three or four fell swoops.
Me: If Bruce Springsteen wanted to record a unique take on "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" so badly, why did he make the chorus sound exactly like "Da Doo Ron Ron"?
Her: I meant questions about the menu.
Her: I meant questions about the menu.
December 25, 2024 at 7:24 PM
Me: If Bruce Springsteen wanted to record a unique take on "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" so badly, why did he make the chorus sound exactly like "Da Doo Ron Ron"?
Her: I meant questions about the menu.
Her: I meant questions about the menu.
Fed up with your girlfriend stealing your clothing? Marry her. I’m in my thirteenth year of knowing exactly where all my hoodies are.
November 29, 2024 at 6:24 PM
Fed up with your girlfriend stealing your clothing? Marry her. I’m in my thirteenth year of knowing exactly where all my hoodies are.
Y’know, that’s like Fortytwopence in Dog None the Richer.
November 29, 2023 at 2:41 PM
Y’know, that’s like Fortytwopence in Dog None the Richer.
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
Fun facts about ducks:
- 14% are named Doug
- most can grow antlers, but choose not to
- their mastery of dark magic is unparalleled amongst waterfowl
- few are poisonous, but all have a scathing wit & a love of gin
- 14% are named Doug
- most can grow antlers, but choose not to
- their mastery of dark magic is unparalleled amongst waterfowl
- few are poisonous, but all have a scathing wit & a love of gin
October 8, 2023 at 4:02 PM
Fun facts about ducks:
- 14% are named Doug
- most can grow antlers, but choose not to
- their mastery of dark magic is unparalleled amongst waterfowl
- few are poisonous, but all have a scathing wit & a love of gin
- 14% are named Doug
- most can grow antlers, but choose not to
- their mastery of dark magic is unparalleled amongst waterfowl
- few are poisonous, but all have a scathing wit & a love of gin
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
your honor honor bo bonner banana fana fo fonner fee fi mo monner your HONOR
October 5, 2023 at 12:26 AM
your honor honor bo bonner banana fana fo fonner fee fi mo monner your HONOR
I almost got involved in a kerfuffle the other day, but thankfully it only ended up being a brouhaha.
October 5, 2023 at 2:50 AM
I almost got involved in a kerfuffle the other day, but thankfully it only ended up being a brouhaha.
Y’know, that’s like pleading the Thirty-Fifth in dog amendments.
October 3, 2023 at 2:37 PM
Y’know, that’s like pleading the Thirty-Fifth in dog amendments.
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
Whatever your age, I think you should try to learn something new every day. Today I learned that 55 year old men shouldn’t run for trains.
Discovering that ambulance beds are surprisingly comfortable was merely a bonus lesson.
Discovering that ambulance beds are surprisingly comfortable was merely a bonus lesson.
October 3, 2023 at 11:13 AM
Whatever your age, I think you should try to learn something new every day. Today I learned that 55 year old men shouldn’t run for trains.
Discovering that ambulance beds are surprisingly comfortable was merely a bonus lesson.
Discovering that ambulance beds are surprisingly comfortable was merely a bonus lesson.
Due to inflation, I now only love you 7/8 of a bushel, or roughly 3.5 pecks.
October 1, 2023 at 7:10 PM
Due to inflation, I now only love you 7/8 of a bushel, or roughly 3.5 pecks.
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
You know you’re in a classy place when the Coke Zero comes out in carafes.
September 30, 2023 at 6:22 PM
You know you’re in a classy place when the Coke Zero comes out in carafes.
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
I've never listened to music, is it any good?
September 28, 2023 at 6:58 PM
I've never listened to music, is it any good?
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
Backstreet Boys: I want it that way!
Meat Loaf: No, I won’t do that.
Meat Loaf: No, I won’t do that.
September 29, 2023 at 1:35 PM
Backstreet Boys: I want it that way!
Meat Loaf: No, I won’t do that.
Meat Loaf: No, I won’t do that.
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
You’ve wildly underestimated how much peanut butter I can fit on a rice cake
September 12, 2023 at 12:04 AM
You’ve wildly underestimated how much peanut butter I can fit on a rice cake
I went out one night to get a kidney removed, but to my horror I woke up drinking at a bar with a charming stranger.
September 29, 2023 at 1:39 AM
I went out one night to get a kidney removed, but to my horror I woke up drinking at a bar with a charming stranger.
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
It’s that time of year! Gonna stand under windowsills and hope a loosened AC unit will clobber me into the pavement
September 19, 2023 at 1:56 PM
It’s that time of year! Gonna stand under windowsills and hope a loosened AC unit will clobber me into the pavement
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
That asshole kid who said “present” instead of “here” in homeroom grew up to be the fifth dentist
July 19, 2023 at 12:28 AM
That asshole kid who said “present” instead of “here” in homeroom grew up to be the fifth dentist
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
when two sock puppets really care for one another, it’s not just sox, they make glove
September 22, 2023 at 5:10 PM
when two sock puppets really care for one another, it’s not just sox, they make glove
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
If by intermittent fasting you mean I haven’t figured out how to eat in my sleep yet then yes, I am
August 8, 2023 at 7:33 PM
If by intermittent fasting you mean I haven’t figured out how to eat in my sleep yet then yes, I am
Reposted by Tundra British Columbia Headhunters Circus (Beeeej)
I got 99 problems and they're all Luftballons.
September 27, 2023 at 6:00 PM
I got 99 problems and they're all Luftballons.
Can’t, I have a packed schedule of eating Nutella straight out of the jar.
September 28, 2023 at 12:33 AM
Can’t, I have a packed schedule of eating Nutella straight out of the jar.