I’m definitely not hyperfixated on this video and watching it several times a day. Honest, guv.

The actress Elizabeth Debicki’s full name is Elizabeth The Biscuit.

"Hennimore it's vital I stay alert during this meeting so I'll need you to bring me my caffeine pills halfway through they're in a white bottle with a blue lid. On no account should you confuse them with my sleeping pills which have a blue lid & white bottle. I'll just leave them on this lazy Susan"

The idea that Twitter might be trying to use @terry_barlow/X.com 's account to train its AI is giving me great joy.

Hear me out. A Celtic warrior, cursed by a druid, loses his body & inhabits every sculpture which looks like him over the next few millennia.
Cut to 2025, and the last department store in some US city is on the brink of closing when a mousy mannequin sculptor creates, you guessed it, a Statham-quin.

Jason Statham as the mannequin in MANNEQUIN.

I'm not even kidding, someone should make this.

At a party earlier this evening and we hit on an excellent variation of the ‘muppet’ movie game. This time though, it’s pick a movie, keep all the same cast (i.e. *don’t* replace them with muppets), but crucially, *do* replace one person with Jason Statham.

Knock knock
Who's there?
The interrupting 10 minute freeform jazz trumpet solo
The interrupting 10 minute freeform jazz trumpet solo wh-
BAAAAAP! BAPPABABAPPABAAPABA BAAAP!
pibbelyBAP! pibbelyBAP! pibbelyBA BA BA BA!
b Ba BWAAAAAAP! BAP BAP [this continues for 10 minutes]

Man goes to the doctor, says 'I'm depressed'.
Dr says 'treatment is simple! A 10 minute freeform jazz trumpet solo will cheer anyone up!'
'But doctor,' sobs the man, 'BA BA BA BAAAAAP! ba ba ba Ba Ba BAAAAAAAAAP! papapa PAAAAAPP! pa pa Ba! Ba! [this continues for 10 minutes]'

It was a mutually beneficial split - Emmerdale broadened its scope and continued as a successful soap, while the Farm went on to have chart success with hits such as Groovy Train and All Together Now.