Sam Wise
@angryhobbit420.bsky.social
A silly goose, an odd duck, a slinky on the stairs of life 🏳️🌈♠️🐈
The one with one eye is Sully. She is a sweet angel baby who can do no wrong.
The other one is Voldemort and she earned that name.
The one with one eye is Sully. She is a sweet angel baby who can do no wrong.
The other one is Voldemort and she earned that name.
Responded to a post claiming they have a Thanksgiving every weekend in Britain with something along the lines of 'cuz you can afford the ingredients' and immediately got muted. Guess somebody doesn't like being reminded of their privilege
😂😂😂💀
😂😂😂💀
November 28, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Responded to a post claiming they have a Thanksgiving every weekend in Britain with something along the lines of 'cuz you can afford the ingredients' and immediately got muted. Guess somebody doesn't like being reminded of their privilege
😂😂😂💀
😂😂😂💀
Um........ I mean technically the most dangerous aspect of my life is my job cuz people can't drive for shit?
(Had the correct customer's bag, but it contained another customer's order. Had to take a photo.)
(Had the correct customer's bag, but it contained another customer's order. Had to take a photo.)
November 27, 2025 at 5:26 AM
Um........ I mean technically the most dangerous aspect of my life is my job cuz people can't drive for shit?
(Had the correct customer's bag, but it contained another customer's order. Had to take a photo.)
(Had the correct customer's bag, but it contained another customer's order. Had to take a photo.)
Okay so I was trying to take a cute picture of my lap full of kitties but the flash makes it look like a hostage photo and the fact that Voldemort is grooming herself makes her look like some sort of HP Loveracist cthulian creation
November 26, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Okay so I was trying to take a cute picture of my lap full of kitties but the flash makes it look like a hostage photo and the fact that Voldemort is grooming herself makes her look like some sort of HP Loveracist cthulian creation
Reposted by Sam Wise
November 24, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Reposted by Sam Wise
Evergreen advice:
just use the fucking library.
November 24, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Evergreen advice:
Reposted by Sam Wise
If you invented a robot that sometimes cleaned my house really well & quickly & saved me lots of work—but *often* just moved things around without really cleaning—& *sometimes* added germs *to* the surfaces—such that just to be safe, I always had to clean after it
I don’t think I’d buy that robot
I don’t think I’d buy that robot
November 17, 2025 at 10:15 PM
If you invented a robot that sometimes cleaned my house really well & quickly & saved me lots of work—but *often* just moved things around without really cleaning—& *sometimes* added germs *to* the surfaces—such that just to be safe, I always had to clean after it
I don’t think I’d buy that robot
I don’t think I’d buy that robot
Reposted by Sam Wise
If you get to a trillion dollars you should have to start the game over from the beginning at a higher difficulty like your parents not owning a bunch of emerald mines or whatever idk that’s just a random example
November 17, 2025 at 6:50 PM
If you get to a trillion dollars you should have to start the game over from the beginning at a higher difficulty like your parents not owning a bunch of emerald mines or whatever idk that’s just a random example
It's just a snoozely day
November 16, 2025 at 11:24 PM
It's just a snoozely day
Reposted by Sam Wise
Lol yeah man all that panic over "a Big Mac will cost $15!" if we raise the minimum wage. Well we didn't raise the minimum wage but a Big Mac is $15 now.
November 16, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Lol yeah man all that panic over "a Big Mac will cost $15!" if we raise the minimum wage. Well we didn't raise the minimum wage but a Big Mac is $15 now.
When you're 2 montha shy of 46 years old, you're old enough to make whatever stupid decision you want to, like having a breakfast of coffee and Flaming Hot fries
November 16, 2025 at 4:35 PM
When you're 2 montha shy of 46 years old, you're old enough to make whatever stupid decision you want to, like having a breakfast of coffee and Flaming Hot fries
Reposted by Sam Wise
There has never been a better time to release an interracial lesbian Christmas movie because the outrage grifters are whisper quiet. Hell, you could probably put a black person in Star Wars right now. The anti-DEI freaks are too busy wallowing in the shame of secretly being pro-CSA all along.
🚨SAPPHIC LIFETIME CHRISTMAS MOVIE THIS YEAR🚨
November 15, 2025 at 7:35 PM
There has never been a better time to release an interracial lesbian Christmas movie because the outrage grifters are whisper quiet. Hell, you could probably put a black person in Star Wars right now. The anti-DEI freaks are too busy wallowing in the shame of secretly being pro-CSA all along.
Reposted by Sam Wise
Sometimes, I kind of feel like a Frankenstein myself. Just a handful of mismatched limbs held together by vibes and one questionable thunderstorm.
November 15, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Sometimes, I kind of feel like a Frankenstein myself. Just a handful of mismatched limbs held together by vibes and one questionable thunderstorm.
Reposted by Sam Wise
It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.
November 15, 2025 at 5:10 AM
It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.
Reposted by Sam Wise
Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.
November 14, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.
My girlfriend and I were amusing ourselves taking pictures of Voldemort from each of our respective angles. I am pleased with the results.
......... hey, some of us have to make our own entertainment. Weed is only an incidental part of this.
......... hey, some of us have to make our own entertainment. Weed is only an incidental part of this.
November 13, 2025 at 8:02 PM
My girlfriend and I were amusing ourselves taking pictures of Voldemort from each of our respective angles. I am pleased with the results.
......... hey, some of us have to make our own entertainment. Weed is only an incidental part of this.
......... hey, some of us have to make our own entertainment. Weed is only an incidental part of this.
Reposted by Sam Wise
Cosigned. As @pattonoswalt.bsky.social just said: Wood chipper, feet first.
I see the “technically it’s ephebophelia” crowd is out today, so just a reminder that A) this is NOT a case where technically correct is the best kind of correct and B) the minute you say this, the gods dump you in the “irredeemable creeper” basket and wash their hands thoroughly after touching you.
November 13, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Cosigned. As @pattonoswalt.bsky.social just said: Wood chipper, feet first.
Reposted by Sam Wise
Predictable but still amazing to watch people who spent literally years accusing every librarian, teacher, and trans person they could find of sexually grooming children suddenly throw themselves in with "actually it's ephebophilia"
Megyn Kelly: "I know somebody very close to this case…Jeffrey Epstein, in this person's view, was not a pedophile…He was into the barely legal type, like he liked 15 year old girls…He wasn't into like 8 year olds…There's a difference between a 15 year old and a 5 year old."
November 13, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Predictable but still amazing to watch people who spent literally years accusing every librarian, teacher, and trans person they could find of sexually grooming children suddenly throw themselves in with "actually it's ephebophilia"
Reposted by Sam Wise
Hey so “underage girls” are…children. The word you’re looking for is children. They’re not like, women-in-waiting or women-lite or whatever. They’re children. I think some of you are very uncomfortable with what that means for you but it is still true.
November 12, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Hey so “underage girls” are…children. The word you’re looking for is children. They’re not like, women-in-waiting or women-lite or whatever. They’re children. I think some of you are very uncomfortable with what that means for you but it is still true.
Reposted by Sam Wise
This is Oakley. He has an injury that requires physical therapy and at-home massages. Luckily, his cat sibling River has been training his whole life for this. 14/10 for both
November 10, 2025 at 11:58 PM
This is Oakley. He has an injury that requires physical therapy and at-home massages. Luckily, his cat sibling River has been training his whole life for this. 14/10 for both
Reposted by Sam Wise
also: the finger
This holiday season, give Jeff Bezos and Amazon the gift of zero dollars. 🥰
November 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
also: the finger
Went and did a second shopping trip for this week to use the SNAP benefits before they can get taken away again. What do you think we are, amateurs? Shelf-stable foods for the win!
November 9, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Went and did a second shopping trip for this week to use the SNAP benefits before they can get taken away again. What do you think we are, amateurs? Shelf-stable foods for the win!
Today's tips include a homemade cupcake 💖
November 9, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Today's tips include a homemade cupcake 💖
