Alicia Kraft
@aliciakraft.bsky.social
contributor at The Onion
fatty at large (get it?)
✶✶Chicago✶✶
fatty at large (get it?)
✶✶Chicago✶✶
Pinned
Alicia Kraft
@aliciakraft.bsky.social
· May 27
Kinda BS that nobody cares if I call myself a "cat mom" but they act weird when I call myself a "cat MILF"
If you own a cat long enough you might be blessed to witness a live action Tom and Jerry cartoon starring your idiot cat getting his ass handed to him by a mouse that's been training its whole life for this
November 14, 2025 at 1:04 AM
If you own a cat long enough you might be blessed to witness a live action Tom and Jerry cartoon starring your idiot cat getting his ass handed to him by a mouse that's been training its whole life for this
I think it's really nice that Mario, Bowser, et al can take a break from trying to kill each other to play a friendly game of tennis or golf
November 13, 2025 at 7:47 PM
I think it's really nice that Mario, Bowser, et al can take a break from trying to kill each other to play a friendly game of tennis or golf
FUCKIN EXACTLY
Well, it's a little clearer now why billionaires are so invested in technology that produces better written emails.
November 13, 2025 at 5:06 PM
FUCKIN EXACTLY
Reposted by Alicia Kraft
Reposted by Alicia Kraft
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
November 9, 2025 at 3:10 PM
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
Youth: "And why shall I play upon the clavichord, maestro, if I might bid the A.I. play for me?"
--A Clavichord Teacher's Nightmare!
--A Clavichord Teacher's Nightmare!
November 10, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Youth: "And why shall I play upon the clavichord, maestro, if I might bid the A.I. play for me?"
--A Clavichord Teacher's Nightmare!
--A Clavichord Teacher's Nightmare!
Some fat (snow)flakes out there. You know what that means. it's Hunkerin Time
November 10, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Some fat (snow)flakes out there. You know what that means. it's Hunkerin Time
My OS updated and it changed inconsequential things about its appearance!! FUCK!!!!!
November 8, 2025 at 11:25 PM
My OS updated and it changed inconsequential things about its appearance!! FUCK!!!!!
Little Baby Crosspaws
November 7, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Little Baby Crosspaws
New Yorkers, if you don't see this show I will find a way to haunt your ass without dying
I’m proud to say I’ll be sitting in with his band for the whole run — and I’m thrilled to still be doing silly stuff with this guy even after 30 years.
Tickets are available here: nycomedyfestival.com/lineup/todd-...
Tickets are available here: nycomedyfestival.com/lineup/todd-...
November 6, 2025 at 4:19 AM
New Yorkers, if you don't see this show I will find a way to haunt your ass without dying
Cats are so generous for not only sharing the planet with us, but allowing us to cater to their every need
November 6, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Cats are so generous for not only sharing the planet with us, but allowing us to cater to their every need
Reposted by Alicia Kraft
can’t tell if my antidepressants aren’t working or if they just weren’t built for this. like, zoloft was introduced in the 90s it barely needed to work then. if you got sad you could just buy a house.
November 3, 2025 at 11:50 PM
can’t tell if my antidepressants aren’t working or if they just weren’t built for this. like, zoloft was introduced in the 90s it barely needed to work then. if you got sad you could just buy a house.
Maybe they just don't want to go home. Maybe they've got a bad home life. Did you whiners ever think about that
November 2, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Maybe they just don't want to go home. Maybe they've got a bad home life. Did you whiners ever think about that
It's so weird how many people never change their buttholes from the default notification tone
November 1, 2025 at 9:57 PM
It's so weird how many people never change their buttholes from the default notification tone
My favorite part of Halloween is going around the table and saying what we're all spooky for
November 1, 2025 at 12:27 AM
My favorite part of Halloween is going around the table and saying what we're all spooky for
Reposted by Alicia Kraft
how couples argue today
WIFE: Husband (38M) keeps taking up fridge w his mustards, says I (36F) can't use any. AITA?
HUSBAND: Top 10 WHITE Woman Dipping Mustard FAILS
ChatGPT: Time for some tough love. You're both right, you're both geniuses, and humanity's future depends on you both shooting yourse
WIFE: Husband (38M) keeps taking up fridge w his mustards, says I (36F) can't use any. AITA?
HUSBAND: Top 10 WHITE Woman Dipping Mustard FAILS
ChatGPT: Time for some tough love. You're both right, you're both geniuses, and humanity's future depends on you both shooting yourse
October 31, 2025 at 1:46 AM
how couples argue today
WIFE: Husband (38M) keeps taking up fridge w his mustards, says I (36F) can't use any. AITA?
HUSBAND: Top 10 WHITE Woman Dipping Mustard FAILS
ChatGPT: Time for some tough love. You're both right, you're both geniuses, and humanity's future depends on you both shooting yourse
WIFE: Husband (38M) keeps taking up fridge w his mustards, says I (36F) can't use any. AITA?
HUSBAND: Top 10 WHITE Woman Dipping Mustard FAILS
ChatGPT: Time for some tough love. You're both right, you're both geniuses, and humanity's future depends on you both shooting yourse
Me when I beat my personal best at number of rotations in my desk chair at work
WHAT a record, wow. I gotta spin this up again
October 30, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Me when I beat my personal best at number of rotations in my desk chair at work
I'm a multi-instrumentalist (I never shut the fuck up and I have gas)
October 27, 2025 at 4:11 AM
I'm a multi-instrumentalist (I never shut the fuck up and I have gas)
Reposted by Alicia Kraft
The most misused word in the English language is "me". Everyone uses it to refer to themselves, but actually, it refers to me.
October 23, 2025 at 2:31 AM
The most misused word in the English language is "me". Everyone uses it to refer to themselves, but actually, it refers to me.
Reposted by Alicia Kraft
"Man goes scorched earth on ICE agents kidnapping people in his hometown."
Source:
old.reddit.com/r/PublicFrea...
Source:
old.reddit.com/r/PublicFrea...
October 22, 2025 at 4:21 AM
"Man goes scorched earth on ICE agents kidnapping people in his hometown."
Source:
old.reddit.com/r/PublicFrea...
Source:
old.reddit.com/r/PublicFrea...
