@abitofmustard.bsky.social
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If I’d known day drinking would qualify me for higher office, I wouldn’t have forsworn scotch this morning.
January 14, 2025 at 7:42 PM
If I’d known day drinking would qualify me for higher office, I wouldn’t have forsworn scotch this morning.
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someone insanely depressed but retaining a childlike sense of whimsy: i am going to put some peanut butter and raisins on celery
January 12, 2025 at 3:19 AM
someone insanely depressed but retaining a childlike sense of whimsy: i am going to put some peanut butter and raisins on celery
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What a cliffhanger. Can’t wait for Nosferathree.
January 12, 2025 at 3:57 AM
What a cliffhanger. Can’t wait for Nosferathree.
I want to go to a African wedding. That would be my fashion week.
January 12, 2025 at 12:37 PM
I want to go to a African wedding. That would be my fashion week.
Dudes will sit in front of a computer for 8 hours everyday and not once do they think 'I should look up a date night idea'
December 28, 2024 at 1:02 AM
Dudes will sit in front of a computer for 8 hours everyday and not once do they think 'I should look up a date night idea'
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Me: I will just relax for a few minutes by playing a mindless game on my phone
Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble
Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble
December 11, 2024 at 3:11 PM
Me: I will just relax for a few minutes by playing a mindless game on my phone
Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble
Phone: Cool, every 90 seconds you will just need to watch a little animated snuff film featuring a mother and child freezing to death, or a king slowly being crushed against a spiky wall by piles of falling rubble
THATS IT! No more McDonald's.
December 10, 2024 at 6:18 AM
THATS IT! No more McDonald's.
We get it, die hard is a christmas movie. Not a personality trait.
December 10, 2024 at 6:16 AM
We get it, die hard is a christmas movie. Not a personality trait.
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I need bluesky to add bookmarks so I have a place to put things I'll never look at again
December 10, 2024 at 2:33 AM
I need bluesky to add bookmarks so I have a place to put things I'll never look at again
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Elf is a terrible Christmas movie and I hate it.
December 9, 2024 at 9:25 PM
Elf is a terrible Christmas movie and I hate it.
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The first and most important step when using an oven is to preheat all the pans you store in there to 425.
December 9, 2024 at 6:00 PM
The first and most important step when using an oven is to preheat all the pans you store in there to 425.
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and for successfully resisting the urge to eat a little treat, I shall reward myself with a little treat
December 9, 2024 at 9:07 PM
and for successfully resisting the urge to eat a little treat, I shall reward myself with a little treat
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Rocky Horror Picture Show is a holiday movie: there’s a feast, festive hats, and someone cries so hard their makeup gets all fucked up.
December 9, 2024 at 5:56 PM
Rocky Horror Picture Show is a holiday movie: there’s a feast, festive hats, and someone cries so hard their makeup gets all fucked up.
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KNIVES OUT is a Christmas movie because Chris Evans wears a sweater.
December 10, 2024 at 2:25 AM
KNIVES OUT is a Christmas movie because Chris Evans wears a sweater.
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The older I get the more I realize why Tupac hated everybody
December 9, 2024 at 2:21 AM
The older I get the more I realize why Tupac hated everybody
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It’s always been wild to me how hard people will stan for pop stars. It’s like saying your favorite food is Necco wafers
December 8, 2024 at 1:08 PM
It’s always been wild to me how hard people will stan for pop stars. It’s like saying your favorite food is Necco wafers
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Is "enthusiastically" an appropriate answer when someone asks how I take my coffee?
December 7, 2024 at 12:39 PM
Is "enthusiastically" an appropriate answer when someone asks how I take my coffee?
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I still think the dorkiest dweebiest people on earth are the people who say die hard is their fave Christmas movie like they’re expecting a reaction from you for it.
I get it, it takes place at Christmas and it goes boom and you’re a straight man.
I get it, it takes place at Christmas and it goes boom and you’re a straight man.
December 7, 2024 at 12:30 PM
I still think the dorkiest dweebiest people on earth are the people who say die hard is their fave Christmas movie like they’re expecting a reaction from you for it.
I get it, it takes place at Christmas and it goes boom and you’re a straight man.
I get it, it takes place at Christmas and it goes boom and you’re a straight man.
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[date]
her: I love bocelli
me: my favorite is rigatoni
her: I love bocelli
me: my favorite is rigatoni
December 8, 2024 at 4:17 PM
[date]
her: I love bocelli
me: my favorite is rigatoni
her: I love bocelli
me: my favorite is rigatoni
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give me coffee for the things i can change and a flamethrower for the things i cannot. amen.
December 8, 2024 at 5:06 PM
give me coffee for the things i can change and a flamethrower for the things i cannot. amen.
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just saw an ad for “buy one, get one free” pistol silencers
December 8, 2024 at 2:23 AM
just saw an ad for “buy one, get one free” pistol silencers
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amazed to discover that eating a monstrous Philly cheesesteak, drinking for four hours and going to bed at 3am does not in fact leave you refreshed and ready to face the day
December 8, 2024 at 10:27 AM
amazed to discover that eating a monstrous Philly cheesesteak, drinking for four hours and going to bed at 3am does not in fact leave you refreshed and ready to face the day
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Absolutely go f**k yourself. Autism is not a "get out of jail free card" for being an arsehole. Do you know how hard so many autistic individuals work to fit in, to be treated "normally"? This type of crap makes it harder for all of us. Being autistic doesn't give you a pass to be a predator.
December 8, 2024 at 4:47 PM
Absolutely go f**k yourself. Autism is not a "get out of jail free card" for being an arsehole. Do you know how hard so many autistic individuals work to fit in, to be treated "normally"? This type of crap makes it harder for all of us. Being autistic doesn't give you a pass to be a predator.