Variance Hammer
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variancehammer.bsky.social
Variance Hammer
@variancehammer.bsky.social
Writer for variancehammer.com and goonhammer.com. Co-host of Lost to the Nails and the Plastic Pressgang Podcast. Fan of the Horus Heresy, Adeptus Titanicus and myriad historicals. Avid terrain enthusiast. He/him/his
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:

- Fast talking character revels in, and exposes the problems of, capitalism

- War movie featuring every male actor of an entire generation

- Megacorp Up To No Good

- Unlikely hero fights alien/robot/monster

- Sad Western
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:

-Swords solve problems
-Now kiss
-I'm too old for this shit, but will do it anyways
-We're all going to die
-Santa claus is real
What are your top 5 movie genres? Mine are:

-Awkward teen gets shit together
-Awkward sports team gets shit together
-Seven murderers get together, save town whose shit is not together
-Two people, whose shit is not together, meet, fall in love, break up, get shit together, get together
-Revenge
November 16, 2025 at 10:38 PM
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"If you hate GenAI you're going to have to stop playing new games when they all start using it"

My brother in Christ, my backlog is literally thousands of games long. I have lifetimes worth of earlier titles to play, & I will gladly do that instead of boiling the oceans for a new CoD or whatever
June 27, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I am coming to the conclusion that, among the things the Epstein List should destroy, is the New York Fucking Times.
November 16, 2025 at 10:28 PM
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i can’t talk about sports gambling anymore without sounding like a crank but i do believe legalized sports gambling is like 15-20% responsible for our current dystopia
The Athletic polled hundreds of players from across the NBA, NFL, MLB and NHL about their opinions surrounding how sports betting impacts players — the responses were haunting.
November 15, 2025 at 3:26 AM
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Started watching MURDERBOT and now I don't wanna go to work, I just want to watch MURDERBOT, which is pretty much the plot of MURDERBOT.
November 12, 2025 at 5:17 PM
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A naval game that was actually fun, check out Snorkers! Link to Facebook group here www.facebook.com/share/1Giks4.... and you can buy the rules here www.inwts.co.uk
November 12, 2025 at 6:55 PM
www.goonhammer.com/horus-heresy...

In which I talk about the new Horus Heresy Zone Mortalis PDF.
Horus Heresy Third Edition: Zone Mortalis
The rules for Zone Mortalis in Horus Heresy third edition are here and Variance Hammer Eric is taking a look!
www.goonhammer.com
November 11, 2025 at 11:57 PM
A small moment of very niche nerdy joy.

Blue Planet is my favorite RPG. When the new edition was Kickstarted, they had backer tier where you could name a feature on one of the maps.

Much to my surprise, on the main, zoomed out map on the slipcover was my little contribution, "Barnum Trench."
November 8, 2025 at 12:17 AM
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I fully believe in the corporate death penalty and believe we would be a better world if OpenAI lost its corporate charter and was forcibly dissolved.

www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
ChatGPT encouraged college graduate to commit suicide, family claims in lawsuit against OpenAI | CNN
A 23-year-old man killed himself in Texas after ChatGPT ‘goaded’ him to commit suicide, his family says in a lawsuit.
www.cnn.com
November 7, 2025 at 1:12 AM
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Oh yeah you're gonna be swimming in Cosmic Crisp this year

WA orchards usually do a lot of exporting to Asia. Soooooo yeah
Cosmic Crisp are the cheapest apples on the shelf for most of the year here, but I live in WA

Like, that's my go-to cooking apple
November 7, 2025 at 8:56 PM
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The Combat, 1939, by Leslie Gilbert Illingworth (1902–1979).
November 6, 2025 at 6:05 PM
These are good books. You should listen to them.
My #WarHammer #SistersofBattle novels are on sale at #Audible!

The Triumph of Saint Katherine, read by Emma Gregory

The Rose at War, the collected Sister Augusta, read by Emma Gregory

The Rose in Darkness, the first full Augusta novel, read by Helen McAlpine

A steal! ⚜️

tinyurl.com/mpekx634
November 6, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Reposted by Variance Hammer
My #WarHammer #SistersofBattle novels are on sale at #Audible!

The Triumph of Saint Katherine, read by Emma Gregory

The Rose at War, the collected Sister Augusta, read by Emma Gregory

The Rose in Darkness, the first full Augusta novel, read by Helen McAlpine

A steal! ⚜️

tinyurl.com/mpekx634
November 6, 2025 at 7:59 AM
Finally got back to a computer with Lychee on it, so I could check my subscription status.

I work with the same methods used for Generative AI in research work. There are responsible, reasonable ways to use this technology. Lychee Gen isn't it.
November 4, 2025 at 6:30 AM
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I was laid off from Teen Vogue today along with multiple other staffers, and today is my last day.

certainly more to come from me when the dust has settled more, but to my knowledge, after today, there will be no politics staffers at Teen Vogue.
November 3, 2025 at 7:52 PM
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November 1, 2025 at 11:23 AM
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November 1, 2025 at 11:50 PM
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Still one of the fav things I've made
October 29, 2025 at 8:43 PM
The most important part of the new Heresy FAQ is that the bitter 6th and 7th ed. Eldar player in me who always argued that units should could as moving when the game begins is feeling *very* smug right now.
October 30, 2025 at 9:49 PM
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#FunFact We sold more Turkey Man in the latest WW2 pledge manager than we did in the original horror KS he was born in.

Some people just bloom later, be inspired.
October 30, 2025 at 8:04 AM
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Slender, single piece, no supports, FDM "expanded metal" #Necromunda walkway STLs are ready for download!

300, 285, 210, & 120mm lengths in both "standard" & narrow.

www.thingiverse.com/thing:7185915

www.printables.com/model/146415...

Coming to Cults soon
October 30, 2025 at 5:02 AM
So it didn't take home the top prize (but Silver!), but this piece is one of the best composed 40K dioramas I've ever seen. Searingly intimate, while also allowing your brain to fill in the larger battlefield. I'm in awe, and cannot get over it.

assets.warhammer-community.com/goldendemon_...
October 27, 2025 at 10:06 PM
It remains deeply funny to me that Warlord included the Blucher in the Kriegsmarine starter set for Victory at Sea.
October 27, 2025 at 9:33 PM