Polite Yet Ultimately Malevolent Mailman
@usps.bsky.social
Amateur Titanic Historian, Baseball Nerd, and Simpsons quoter. I make money by giving you stuff you don't want every day. The United States Postal Service does not sanction or endorse anything I have to say about anything ever.
All the Olympic figure skating routines are leaning heavily into 90s europop/dance ballads, and... Is it really too much to just get *one* routine using Planet of the Bass?
February 10, 2026 at 6:13 AM
All the Olympic figure skating routines are leaning heavily into 90s europop/dance ballads, and... Is it really too much to just get *one* routine using Planet of the Bass?
Bro has clocked in for his shift at the Letting Genies Out of Bottles Factory every day for years and now can't figure out what's with all the genies.
Dr. Mehmet Oz is calling on Americans to get the measles vaccine as cases spread across the U.S.
Dr. Oz urges 'take the vaccine, please' amid measles outbreaks
Dr. Mehmet Oz is calling on Americans to get the measles vaccine as cases spread across the U.S.
bit.ly
February 10, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Bro has clocked in for his shift at the Letting Genies Out of Bottles Factory every day for years and now can't figure out what's with all the genies.
One of my fondest memories of my dad's sense of humor and politics was when his brother in law was ranting at a BBQ about homeless camps in LA being "gross" and an "eyesore," and my dad just turned and said "No one's being homeless *at you,* Matt," and went back to his own conversation.
So many people in the world see others on the streets as something being done to them personally for having had to notice it.
I really need people outside of Seattle to know how much Krist Novoselic sucks
February 10, 2026 at 1:22 AM
One of my fondest memories of my dad's sense of humor and politics was when his brother in law was ranting at a BBQ about homeless camps in LA being "gross" and an "eyesore," and my dad just turned and said "No one's being homeless *at you,* Matt," and went back to his own conversation.
Guy literally put on a cishet marriage ceremony in the middle of a football stadium and conservatives are still furious, man.
February 10, 2026 at 1:03 AM
Guy literally put on a cishet marriage ceremony in the middle of a football stadium and conservatives are still furious, man.
Reposted by Polite Yet Ultimately Malevolent Mailman
U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.
February 9, 2026 at 4:07 PM
U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.
Reposted by Polite Yet Ultimately Malevolent Mailman
And Sam Darnold, who was NOT out indefinitely
February 9, 2026 at 3:32 AM
And Sam Darnold, who was NOT out indefinitely
ACAB includes dudes who pose like this
February 9, 2026 at 3:34 AM
ACAB includes dudes who pose like this
Maybe trite to say, but man the Patriots' easy path all season to reach this point is really showing itself right now. Totally outclassed by an actual great team.
February 9, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Maybe trite to say, but man the Patriots' easy path all season to reach this point is really showing itself right now. Totally outclassed by an actual great team.
MAHA hiring a literal rapist to do their super bowl commercial for healthy eating. This admin just loves to remind you they're sex pests at every turn.
February 9, 2026 at 1:37 AM
MAHA hiring a literal rapist to do their super bowl commercial for healthy eating. This admin just loves to remind you they're sex pests at every turn.
This feels not dissimilar to when my 12th grade English teacher made us read Canterbury Tales in middle English.
we gotta open the schools…or close down the schools. not sure. yikes
February 8, 2026 at 1:10 AM
This feels not dissimilar to when my 12th grade English teacher made us read Canterbury Tales in middle English.
There's a whole-ass primary season yet to happen and these people are still trying to tell you you're gonna lose in 2028 if you don't rally around Newsom. Hard to come to any conclusion other than they like Newsom and agree with him on trans people.
February 7, 2026 at 7:36 PM
There's a whole-ass primary season yet to happen and these people are still trying to tell you you're gonna lose in 2028 if you don't rally around Newsom. Hard to come to any conclusion other than they like Newsom and agree with him on trans people.
Oh yeah, we are *definitely* in Italy for this ceremony.
February 7, 2026 at 4:35 AM
Oh yeah, we are *definitely* in Italy for this ceremony.
To be fair, if a 4'11" guy with spiked hair in The Year of Our Lord 2026 walks into my bar, I'm tossing him out just to avoid losing my liquor license for serving the underage
This rules. Kick Bovino out of every fucking bar in the country.
Border Patrol boss Gregory Bovino tossed from Las Vegas bar
Former U.S. Border Patrol Commander-at-Large Gregory Bovino was reportedly asked to leave a Las Vegas bar out of safety concerns for the venue’s customers.
lasvegassun.com
February 6, 2026 at 10:37 PM
To be fair, if a 4'11" guy with spiked hair in The Year of Our Lord 2026 walks into my bar, I'm tossing him out just to avoid losing my liquor license for serving the underage
Lmao I know The Sun is deeply unserious, but this is such an insane headline to run for "the post office will be closed in observance of President's Day"
February 5, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Lmao I know The Sun is deeply unserious, but this is such an insane headline to run for "the post office will be closed in observance of President's Day"
If you took Chuck Schumer's lunch money, he'd start the negotiations by asking if he could just have $0.25 back to call his mom, and by the end of negotiations he'd be agreeing to walk you to the bank with his ATM card to withdraw an extra $500.
Chuck Schumer says ICE should be allowed to wear masks in "unusual circumstances—you know, some guy's picture was put up by a terrorist group or something."
February 5, 2026 at 10:06 PM
If you took Chuck Schumer's lunch money, he'd start the negotiations by asking if he could just have $0.25 back to call his mom, and by the end of negotiations he'd be agreeing to walk you to the bank with his ATM card to withdraw an extra $500.
Same energy
February 5, 2026 at 7:24 AM
Same energy
My man *wildly* over-estimated his answer to the age old "how many grade school kids could you take at once?"
February 5, 2026 at 12:53 AM
My man *wildly* over-estimated his answer to the age old "how many grade school kids could you take at once?"
Yes this stuff is obviously fake, but just as importantly: what's the angle here, exactly? Does Michael think the children in Epstein's orbit were *running* the pedophilia ring?
February 4, 2026 at 11:44 PM
Yes this stuff is obviously fake, but just as importantly: what's the angle here, exactly? Does Michael think the children in Epstein's orbit were *running* the pedophilia ring?
All y'all bitches line up one by one, single file.
February 4, 2026 at 11:34 PM
All y'all bitches line up one by one, single file.
Is this red states rejecting mass deportation, or is it just red state NIMBYism?
Remarkable: Trump's planned migrant prison camps are hitting deep resistance in red areas. In Virginia's partly rural Hanover (+26 Trump) opposition is intense. GOP leaders in other states are opposed.
Voters are rejecting mass deportations big time. 1/
(new piece)
newrepublic.com/article/2060...
Voters are rejecting mass deportations big time. 1/
(new piece)
newrepublic.com/article/2060...
Trump’s New “Prison Camp” Threat Unleashes Fury Even in MAGA Country
The next phase of ICE’s big ramp-up: a nationwide network of vast detention facilities. But guess what? Even parts of Red America are saying no.
newrepublic.com
February 4, 2026 at 9:16 PM
Is this red states rejecting mass deportation, or is it just red state NIMBYism?
Furthermore, each time an ICE agent murders someone, they should have to put one dollar in the office pizza party collection jar
Democrats want commonsense reform for ICE:
End the roving patrols and racial profiling.
Take accountability and abide by the same rules as local police.
Masks need to come off, body cameras need to stay on—no secret police in the United States of America.
End the roving patrols and racial profiling.
Take accountability and abide by the same rules as local police.
Masks need to come off, body cameras need to stay on—no secret police in the United States of America.
February 4, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Furthermore, each time an ICE agent murders someone, they should have to put one dollar in the office pizza party collection jar
I honestly didn't think Matt Yglesias was ever going to top this piece as his worst take of all time (right on the heels of the Rana Plaza collapse that killed more than 1100 people), but somehow, someway, he managed to do it.
February 3, 2026 at 11:03 PM
I honestly didn't think Matt Yglesias was ever going to top this piece as his worst take of all time (right on the heels of the Rana Plaza collapse that killed more than 1100 people), but somehow, someway, he managed to do it.
Electric Wokealoo
February 3, 2026 at 10:18 PM
Electric Wokealoo
Okay, well, shit. Next time this dork steps foot in a blue state, throw his ass in a detention center. No need for a warrant, right?
Mike Johnson speaks out against the use of judicial warrants in immigration cases:
"Imagine if we had to go through the process of getting a judicial warrant"
"Imagine if we had to go through the process of getting a judicial warrant"
February 3, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Okay, well, shit. Next time this dork steps foot in a blue state, throw his ass in a detention center. No need for a warrant, right?
My kingdom for even just one reporter to ask "if democrats are rigging elections how are republicans in control of both chambers and the presidency?"
Mike Johnson on Trump calling for Rs to "nationalize" elections: "We had 3 Republicans who were ahead on election day in last cycle & every time a new tranche of ballots came in they just magically whittled away until their leads were lost. It looks on its face to be fraudulent. Can I prove it? No"
February 3, 2026 at 8:52 PM
My kingdom for even just one reporter to ask "if democrats are rigging elections how are republicans in control of both chambers and the presidency?"