Polite Yet Ultimately Malevolent Mailman
@usps.bsky.social
Amateur Titanic Historian, Baseball Nerd, and Simpsons quoter. I make money by giving you stuff you don't want every day. The United States Postal Service does not sanction or endorse anything I have to say about anything ever.
He's gonna summon his whole Twitter staff from them their office bunks for an emergency all nighter to workshop comebacks and spend 96 hours before landing on "more like Oyce Jarol Coates"
Found the tweet that Joyce Carol Oates bodied Elon Musk with and it's so beautiful in its eloquent, simple take down. So much so he's crashing out trying to prove he reads books now. Put this in the Louvre.
November 11, 2025 at 1:24 AM
He's gonna summon his whole Twitter staff from them their office bunks for an emergency all nighter to workshop comebacks and spend 96 hours before landing on "more like Oyce Jarol Coates"
No, New York Times, the lower income households are not "scrutinizing their spending." Scrutinizing your spending is when I sit down with my wife and determine how many Lego sets it is responsible to buy.
These people are making the excruciating decision on whether or not they get to eat today.
These people are making the excruciating decision on whether or not they get to eat today.
There’s growing concern among grocery stores, restaurants and food producers, as some economists say the lapse SNAP payments is likely to cause lower-income households to scrutinize their spending more.
With SNAP on Hold, Low-Income Shoppers Cut Back and Businesses Worry
A delay in SNAP benefits mixed with a decline in foot traffic has many stores, restaurants and food producers concerned about sales.
nyti.ms
November 10, 2025 at 10:48 PM
No, New York Times, the lower income households are not "scrutinizing their spending." Scrutinizing your spending is when I sit down with my wife and determine how many Lego sets it is responsible to buy.
These people are making the excruciating decision on whether or not they get to eat today.
These people are making the excruciating decision on whether or not they get to eat today.
"The bill must pass, but the spinning wheel of chance has determined it is not my turn to be the rotating villain"
I will not support the Republican bill that’s on the Senate floor because it fails to do anything of substance to fix America’s healthcare crisis.
November 10, 2025 at 10:31 PM
"The bill must pass, but the spinning wheel of chance has determined it is not my turn to be the rotating villain"
Glad to see Major League Baseball is taking this disaster seriously by agreeing to strap a few pool noodles to Titanic's hull.
This is a move by sportsbooks and MLB, like many of its moves, to give an air of a correction while no correction is actually made
November 10, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Glad to see Major League Baseball is taking this disaster seriously by agreeing to strap a few pool noodles to Titanic's hull.
The President of the United States today took a break from ordering states to seize back food from poor people to appear on Sunday Night Football and demand a stadium he named after him
Meanwhile, Democrats held an emergency meeting to protect Republicans from the failures of their own ideology
Meanwhile, Democrats held an emergency meeting to protect Republicans from the failures of their own ideology
November 10, 2025 at 1:22 AM
The President of the United States today took a break from ordering states to seize back food from poor people to appear on Sunday Night Football and demand a stadium he named after him
Meanwhile, Democrats held an emergency meeting to protect Republicans from the failures of their own ideology
Meanwhile, Democrats held an emergency meeting to protect Republicans from the failures of their own ideology
Hearing rumors that Chuck Schumer has forced the white house to concede possession of the magic rock that keeps away tigers.
November 9, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Hearing rumors that Chuck Schumer has forced the white house to concede possession of the magic rock that keeps away tigers.
Between all jobs, I have been a customer-facing worker for almost 20 years of my life, and I have not once, *literally not once* ever encountered a single person give a shit about the holiday greeting they gave or received. It is the original, completely unsurpassed "invented a guy to get mad at"
Nothing the right likes more than making up a fake boogeyman then smashing it — Budweiser, Cracker Barrel, “happy holidays,” Sydney Sweeney, no one actually gives a shit about any of this
November 9, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Between all jobs, I have been a customer-facing worker for almost 20 years of my life, and I have not once, *literally not once* ever encountered a single person give a shit about the holiday greeting they gave or received. It is the original, completely unsurpassed "invented a guy to get mad at"
I'm all for cracking down on the pervasive sports gambling culture, but I'm sorry *what?* "Up to 65 years?" for taking a sports bribe? I don't think Wander Franco even got jail time.
November 9, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I'm all for cracking down on the pervasive sports gambling culture, but I'm sorry *what?* "Up to 65 years?" for taking a sports bribe? I don't think Wander Franco even got jail time.
We need that guy who followed the marching Nazis around with his sousaphone playing dopey theme music for them
Video of Greg Bovino in Waukegan, with residents following and shouting, “You a bitch!” Taken by Armando Sanchez
November 8, 2025 at 9:03 PM
We need that guy who followed the marching Nazis around with his sousaphone playing dopey theme music for them
Every time I see Trump attempt to do regular human body poses, I think of Charles Grodin screaming "Look At Me Like A Human Boy!" at Martin Short in Clifford
November 8, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Every time I see Trump attempt to do regular human body poses, I think of Charles Grodin screaming "Look At Me Like A Human Boy!" at Martin Short in Clifford
Grok Imagine Prompt:
My father says "I love you, Elon. And I am so proud of the strong beautiful man you have become." He has a single tear in his eye as he squeezes my hand, and I tenderly kiss him on the forehead," and I say "thank you, father, I love you, too." The nurses all clap.
My father says "I love you, Elon. And I am so proud of the strong beautiful man you have become." He has a single tear in his eye as he squeezes my hand, and I tenderly kiss him on the forehead," and I say "thank you, father, I love you, too." The nurses all clap.
November 8, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Grok Imagine Prompt:
My father says "I love you, Elon. And I am so proud of the strong beautiful man you have become." He has a single tear in his eye as he squeezes my hand, and I tenderly kiss him on the forehead," and I say "thank you, father, I love you, too." The nurses all clap.
My father says "I love you, Elon. And I am so proud of the strong beautiful man you have become." He has a single tear in his eye as he squeezes my hand, and I tenderly kiss him on the forehead," and I say "thank you, father, I love you, too." The nurses all clap.
No one in history has feared the inevitable march toward death more than Trump.
November 8, 2025 at 7:12 PM
No one in history has feared the inevitable march toward death more than Trump.
A "Remember Some Guys" Guy truly worth remembering. Tragically murdered early in "what could have been" career, but also a great kid who signed a big contract and once tried to return a month's paycheck because he didn't think he earned it that month. The owner declined it, so he gave it to charity
Lyman Bostock
CF
Debut: 1975 - Died: 1978
ANA - MIN
CF
Debut: 1975 - Died: 1978
ANA - MIN
Lyman Bostock at baseball-reference.com
Career stats of Lyman Bostock
baseball-reference.com
November 8, 2025 at 9:43 AM
A "Remember Some Guys" Guy truly worth remembering. Tragically murdered early in "what could have been" career, but also a great kid who signed a big contract and once tried to return a month's paycheck because he didn't think he earned it that month. The owner declined it, so he gave it to charity
Bro is that Teri Schiavo
November 8, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Bro is that Teri Schiavo
Specifically, it was Brown-Jackson who granted the emergency appeal, once again showing that liberals' deference to the rulebook will be the death of us all in the face of a conservative opposition that long ago threw it out.
The Supreme Court has granted the Trump administration’s emergency appeal to temporarily block a court order to fully fund SNAP food aid payments during the government shutdown.
Trump administration seeks to halt SNAP food aid payments after a court order
The Trump administration has asked a federal appeals court to block a judge’s order to distribute November’s full SNAP benefits during a U.S. government shutdown. U.S.
bit.ly
November 8, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Specifically, it was Brown-Jackson who granted the emergency appeal, once again showing that liberals' deference to the rulebook will be the death of us all in the face of a conservative opposition that long ago threw it out.
Further solidifying the theory that Donald Trump is permanently trapped somewhere in the 1980s.
President Trump has approved a presidential pardon for former MLB and Mets legend Darryl Strawberry, a White House official said Friday.
Trump pardons New York Mets legend Darryl Strawberry
The eight-time MLB All-Star pleaded guilty to tax evasion in 1995, and has since served time.
www.cbsnews.com
November 7, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Further solidifying the theory that Donald Trump is permanently trapped somewhere in the 1980s.
Chuck Schumer is the Sir Edmund Hillary of reaching new peaks of loserdom
SCHUMER is on the floor now making this offer to end the shutdown:
Clean CR
Bipartisan "minibus" of approps bills
1-year ACA funding extension
Bipartisan cmte to negotiate on health care
"This is a reasonable offer that reopens the government, deals with health care affordability."
Clean CR
Bipartisan "minibus" of approps bills
1-year ACA funding extension
Bipartisan cmte to negotiate on health care
"This is a reasonable offer that reopens the government, deals with health care affordability."
November 7, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Chuck Schumer is the Sir Edmund Hillary of reaching new peaks of loserdom
This is what happens when you try to run a country at an age where you're supposed to be parked in front of Matlock marathons and having your contraband salt shaker confiscated by the nurse.
photos of Trump sleeping through yesterday's Oval Office event via Andrew Harnik of Getty
November 7, 2025 at 5:07 PM
This is what happens when you try to run a country at an age where you're supposed to be parked in front of Matlock marathons and having your contraband salt shaker confiscated by the nurse.
Jesus Fucking Christ this old bitch is still on her bullshit?
November 7, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Jesus Fucking Christ this old bitch is still on her bullshit?
Hey Target employees! Come work for USPS, where if a manager tells you have to smile, you get to bury them in grievances and paperwork until the heat death of the universe!
USPS: Where smiling is optional, the customer is almost always wrong, and you can just say that to their face!
USPS: Where smiling is optional, the customer is almost always wrong, and you can just say that to their face!
$TGT Target Mandates Worker Smiles, Friendliness to Boost Sales
Groundbreaking initiative. @JeffMacke
Groundbreaking initiative. @JeffMacke
November 7, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Hey Target employees! Come work for USPS, where if a manager tells you have to smile, you get to bury them in grievances and paperwork until the heat death of the universe!
USPS: Where smiling is optional, the customer is almost always wrong, and you can just say that to their face!
USPS: Where smiling is optional, the customer is almost always wrong, and you can just say that to their face!
Timeline Cleanse. Everyone say Hello, Ripley
November 7, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Timeline Cleanse. Everyone say Hello, Ripley
Progressive leaders really need to seize this moment to spell out how all of this is not just a failure of the Trump administration specifically, but of conservative governance as a whole. This is *what they want.* This is *what their vision looks like.*
The reduction in air traffic could affect up to 4,000 flights daily, according to NBC News.
FAA Will Reduce Flights This Week Due To Shutdown—Thousands Of Flights Could Reportedly Be Impacted
The reduction in air traffic could affect up to 4,000 flights daily, according to NBC News.
www.forbes.com
November 7, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Progressive leaders really need to seize this moment to spell out how all of this is not just a failure of the Trump administration specifically, but of conservative governance as a whole. This is *what they want.* This is *what their vision looks like.*
"A photo can tell a recruiter much about an applicant's personality."
Oh yeah? Tell that to the 9,000 cranky old white dudes on my route who love to share their racist anecdotes with me because I've got a January 6th Face, even though I'm trash talking them to coworkers 5 minutes later.
Oh yeah? Tell that to the 9,000 cranky old white dudes on my route who love to share their racist anecdotes with me because I've got a January 6th Face, even though I'm trash talking them to coworkers 5 minutes later.
A new paper suggests a photo can tell a recruiter much about an applicant’s personality
Should facial analysis help determine whom companies hire?
A new paper suggests a photo can tell a recruiter much about an applicant’s personality
econ.st
November 6, 2025 at 11:25 PM
"A photo can tell a recruiter much about an applicant's personality."
Oh yeah? Tell that to the 9,000 cranky old white dudes on my route who love to share their racist anecdotes with me because I've got a January 6th Face, even though I'm trash talking them to coworkers 5 minutes later.
Oh yeah? Tell that to the 9,000 cranky old white dudes on my route who love to share their racist anecdotes with me because I've got a January 6th Face, even though I'm trash talking them to coworkers 5 minutes later.
There is simply no way the kicker for a 2-7 football team is getting death threats from someone who is upset about team wins and losses. This has gotta be degenerate gamblers livid that a missed kick cost them a point spread or something. We gotta ban this legalized gambling empire, man.
November 6, 2025 at 11:06 PM
There is simply no way the kicker for a 2-7 football team is getting death threats from someone who is upset about team wins and losses. This has gotta be degenerate gamblers livid that a missed kick cost them a point spread or something. We gotta ban this legalized gambling empire, man.
For all the grief "libs" get for being out of touch and disconnected from the people they serve, the decision to insist on a trial for the sandwich guy was a *stupendously* bad reading of the room by the right.
November 6, 2025 at 8:37 PM
For all the grief "libs" get for being out of touch and disconnected from the people they serve, the decision to insist on a trial for the sandwich guy was a *stupendously* bad reading of the room by the right.